tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78994492353185900152024-03-13T04:34:30.797-07:00another shotdoll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.comBlogger81125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-47575316429768594402022-01-09T19:06:00.001-08:002022-01-09T19:06:18.237-08:00Dust cobwebs<p> Can’t believe it’s been 10 years… </p><p>Where do I even start from?</p><p><br /></p><p>More importantly…. Does any one care! Does anyone still lurk!</p><p><br /></p><p>Life has been good to me for sure. So happy, so grateful. Living my best life </p><p><br /></p>doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-23802292996689606492012-09-03T07:09:00.001-07:002012-09-03T07:09:16.503-07:00Life is truly in Phaseswow...its been four months since i last posted and seven months of marriage<br />
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where did all the time go....????<br />
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Over the long salah holiday holiday i had time to wonder<br />
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I dated my ex for a little over 6 years and i cant remember much the life we had together. I tried to remember life, love and all that before the hubs and its all hazy<br />
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After 6 years of working in one place after graduation i resumed at a new place on the 2nd of July. i was nervous and apprehensive, understably, seeing that i'd worked at only one place all my life, but i'm settling real good. i went for lunch earlier today and drove past my former and office and i struggled to remember how it felt to work there and it was all hazy and blurry.<br />
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I used to read some blogs about marriage before i got married but there was this particular one i couldnt help but feel the author was going out of her way to convince us (the readers) that her life and her marriage was perfect. I remember always thinking this is fiction jare.......now i feel like i'm in the same shoes which is why i'm probably not blogging regularly (plus settling down into work).....<br />
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Either ways, i can't hide from the fact that i'm having an amazing year both Emotionally and Financially...it seems sureal most times.<br />
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So i'm trying to enjoy my money, my hubs and status quo before the family expands and another phase of life begins. <br />
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Speaking of babies....i'v never been the type to fawn over babies...my younger brother is 20 and he's the last born so i'v not really been around children, plus anytime i hang out with my one of my close friend that's a mother, her son literarilly drives me crazy, he's favorite word on earth is mummy and he can say it one million times, as soon as he notices his mom is not paying him attention. But these days the motherly feeling is creeping on me and its pleasant, i even close my eyes and imagine my children's face.<br />
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I'v started praying about it though, for God to bless the hubs and I with good and healthy children (when we are ready); even if its to pay me in Kind, because i believe i was the model kid, focused on my studies and God whilst i was growing up and did not give my parents head or heartaches.<br />
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P.S thanks to those that checked up on me via comments and email.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-43932483865370425182012-05-30T08:21:00.000-07:002012-05-30T08:21:02.711-07:00That phase of lifeCurrently, I am in one of those phases of life were everything is absolutely perfect. You know, those (4 in a lifetime times, ok maybe not that deep), rare times, when all the dots are connected. <br />
<br />
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<br />
Well, I just got a job in an industry that I’ve been trying to break into, for the past 2-3 years, and the pay is FAN-tas-TIC. More than what I asked for at the interview, and what I asked for, my jaws were trembling when I asked for it.<br />
That aside, the hubs, marriage and I have been on a very pleasant, jolly and positive ride for the past 4 months (honeymoon phase, they say, I know, I know, but I know people that were unhappy, dissatisfied, etc. from the get go…so I’m still thankful.<br />
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Twas my 26th birthday, earlier in the month….I’m becoming old fast. Little wonder i'm being harassed fo kids everywhere i turn<br />doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-81610122917254437182012-05-23T01:58:00.003-07:002012-05-23T01:58:51.054-07:00why are you not pregnant?<br />
So it’s been almost 4 months of marriage! And of course the why are you not pregnant / are you pregnant matter is popping up already?<br />
Last weekend one of my best friend / maid of honor got married, I happened to be sitting on the same table with my mother and we had this conversation:<br />
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Mum: How are you now how is the hubs? Why dint he come for the wedding?<br />
Me: He is fine, mummy, he is out of town, work!<br />
Mum: Ok, are you pregnant?<br />
Me: What? No! why? Do I look pregnant?<br />
Mum: No! just that it’s been almost 4 months already<br />
Me: ah, ok, we don’t plan to have kids now, I told you na! maybe next year<br />
Mum: I reject it for you, what do you mean? <br />
Me: We are not ready jo, emotionally or financially, besides we are enjoying our alone time<br />
Mum: Alone time? what does that mean? Better do this thing now, that I’m around to help you<br />
Me: you are just 51! Mummy, where do you plan on going, that you won’t be around to help me<br />
Mum: DO it now oooooooooooooooo! It’s too risky to wait. you can have one, then rest<br />
Me: Mummy, leave me alone jo, dint I tell you I was going for interviews, I’m about to change jobs, who would hire me if I’m pregnant<br />
Mum: I hear you o! but family over career. Hope you ar not taking pills? My hand is not there o!<br />
Me: o lawd, mummy! I'm not taking pills let me go and dance in with the bride<br />
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ESCAPE!!!!!<br />
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Last month, my mother in law was returning to America, she stays 6 months there and 6 months here, at the airport, she cornered me to have this conversation:<br />
MIL: Better do quick and come to America to give birth now that I’m still there o, so I can help you<br />
Me: Ok ma<br />
MIL: All that one my son is saying, next year or 2 years’ time, don’t listen to him o! as women we have our ways, just do what you need to do. Once it has entered it has entered<br />
Me: Ok ma, safe journey<br />
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Phew!!!!!!<br />
<br />doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-29705047318001207782012-04-04T07:53:00.000-07:002012-04-04T07:53:35.150-07:00Two months! Still Adjusting!<a href="http://dollchic.blogspot.com/2012/02/2-weeks-plus-of-married-life.html"><br />
check out the first installment</a><br />
<br />
Let’s start with the positives<br />
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1. Alone time – At my father’s house, it was rare to be home alone. My mom is a stay at home mom, my brother drove with me to the office, meaning we arrived and departed at the same time, etc. <br />
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These days, I leave the office typically between 5-9pm, depending on my work load. If I leave before 7pm, I head to the gym, except on Tuesday when I head to church or Friday when I hang out with my friends occasionally, or days I am tired and go straight home.<br />
However, more often than not, regardless of any activity I embark on, I still get home before the hubs. The man gives the term “workaholic” a new definition.<br />
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I have been catching up on tv shows and my novels again after so many years. This is definitely a positive<br />
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2. Cooking - I cook dinner EVERY DAY and breakfast and dinner on weekdays! Previously, I used to go a whole month or two! without cooking. My mom like I said was a stay at home mom, so go figure!<br />
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When I lived with my parents, I woke up at 5am, got out of the house at 5:30am, got home between 10 & 11pm every weekday. Weekends, I attended lectures for 3 years when I was writing my professional exams, lectures back then began at 8am and ended at 9pm. With that crazy schedule cooking was definitely not in the front burner.<br />
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In school we were not allowed to cook and cooking for boyfriends wasn’t my cup of tea either, so for the first time ever in my life, I am cooking regularly, I have creative freedom in the kitchen , I am trying out new recipes, remaking old recipes I saw my mom make and I AM LOVING IT. The hubs says the thought dinner keeps him going at work all-day, and he compliments and appreciates my efforts a lot which also motivates me to bring my A game. <br />
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3. Not being a slob – the hubs has OCD as In literally the guy is a freak, a neat freak, he spends the better part of the weekend cleaning the house end to end, even my gas cooker and every nook of the kitchen is not spared. The effort he puts in motivates me to keep my stuff in order and to not make a mess. I am so grateful for a man who cleans up after himself, washes his dishes after eating and doesn’t add cleaning to my burdens.<br />
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The negative!<br />
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4. Snoring – The hubs snores unfailingly every night, being the light sleeper that I am, I find myself awake sometimes, unable to sleep with the disturbance especially when the gen goes off. This gen matter is another wahala o! I wonder when Nigeria would get power right as a nation. It is so sad. The house we live in is a serviced apartment, we have a central 100kv gen *(DIESEL GUZZLER) shared by all occupants of the compound and it goes off between 12midnight and 5am! With the current heat wave (35 – 40degrees in Lagos), it is almost impossible to sleep well. I’v told the hubs that we must buy an inverter to fill in those hours as individual generators are not allowed.<br />
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Anyways, imagine the heat wave plus snoring . It equals discomforts. I have to buy earplugs. I don’t know how effective they are though.<br />
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I’m off to England on an 8day vacation alone! It sucks! I’m gonna miss the hubs loads. He’s been sulking and I’v been pretending not to notice. LOL<br />
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Happy Easter! Enjoy the extended weekend<br />doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-47984248742202319212012-02-29T05:52:00.000-08:002012-02-29T05:52:04.297-08:002 weeks plus of married lifeYesterday, My dad passed through my office.<br />
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The man is obviously missing me evident by the way he hugged me (everybody know Daddy isn't a hugger)<br />
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He also said i miss you....aw.....(everybody knows daddy shows no emotions)<br />
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I teared up a bit<br />
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I miss all of them (daddy, mummy, brothers) too <br />
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I now think of my husband's house as my home<br />
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I am settling in just fine<br />
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the fact that the house is really beautiful doesn't hurt<br />
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Sleeping and waking up in his arms every night is the real ish<br />
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the late night chats under the duvet<br />
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the watching tv and cuddling<br />
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eating together in the kitchen<br />
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dressing up for work in the morning whilst making small talk<br />
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YES YES YES YES<br />
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<br />doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-36971460109723722942012-02-22T02:23:00.000-08:002012-02-22T02:23:04.183-08:00Project weddingSealed, Stamped & Delivered<br />
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I am extremely grateful for amazing friends. I did not even know I had it this good. <br />
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BFF 1 – Flew in from the UK, came to the village for my trad, spent the entire day waiting on me, dancing with me, picking up sprayed money in 4 inch shoes, followed me to Benin the evening after the trad, followed me to Lagos and helped with the last week planning of the white. This amazing friend also bought my wedding shoes when I complained about how stressed I was finding shoes for white and trad and also helped me through my last minutes jitters. Amazing doesn’t quite cut it. Thanks T<br />
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BFF 2 – Also my chief bridesmaid, did all the market runs with me, helped with a lot of the coordination, entered an unfortunate bus, spent 12 hours on the road and almost got raped just to be with me for my trad. Spent the whole day waiting on me and followed me to Benin as well the evening of the trad took a whole weeks leave from work to support me. <br />
Kept the train of my dress properly arranged all through the ceremony<br />
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Thanks W….can’t wait to return the favour in three months when you would be getting married<br />
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My brothers – they definitely did not sit down for one second on both days. Love you guys<br />
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And a whole lot of other amazing friends who helped with asoebi distribution, calls, prayers, text and blackberry messages, graced the occasion and of course <br />
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BLOGFAM; Thanks for being part of this amazing journey<br />
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RECAPS WOULD FOLLOW IN A BIT<br />doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-7221939358978822262012-01-26T08:06:00.000-08:002012-01-26T08:59:38.817-08:009 days moreNext time i blog i would be married i guess<br />
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So our trad is in 9 days.....that is next weekend<br />
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All is set <br />
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All that is left is follow - up calls to vendors<br />
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I'm not excited.....i'l explain why maybe later<br />
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That said, i would do all i can to enjoy my day as a lot of my efforts and money have gone into it<br />
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I need a little help though<br />
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The fiance's birthday is the day after the trad, wanna get him something not too pricey (obviously!!!) he can use for the church wedding. <br />
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He isn't expecting anything as we'v discussed that I'll buy him a proper gift when i go to England in April. <br />
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But this is his first birthday as my hubs figure i should give him something.....<br />
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Any suggestions??????<br />
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P.s seems like <a href="http://my-mothers-child.blogspot.com/">miss Definitely maybe</a> passed on if the anonymous on her page is to be believed! wow!doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-90521533235999963632012-01-08T14:25:00.001-08:002016-10-26T01:26:17.491-07:00random wierd ishIts almost midnight. I'm lying on my bed. Listening to music from the 90s. Its making me nostalgic.<br />
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Some of the music reminds me of my ex.. Our love for rap music and jay z was one thing we had in common. Funny how I spent six years with him and I can't really remember our relationship per say. Its like that part of me never existed. I wonder at the fickleness of love. How can someone be your world today and Tomorrow irrelevant in the grand scheme if things. <br />
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In less than 4 weeks I'll be married. I remember being that little girl that stayed up the entire night digesting romance novels, wondering about prince charming and how it felt to be swept off my feet and find true love and live happily ever after. When did I grow up and how did it happen so fast? I'm tempted to go and wear my wedding dress. Its hanging in my wardrobe waiting for my big day.<br />
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I'm crying....I don't know why. I'm so emotional these days. The slightest thing makes me cry.<br />
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Earlier this evening I looked at my dad and I felt so bad for all the fights we have had over this wedding planning. Some people wish their dad was alive to see their big day and here I am stressing about him hijacking my wedding. I love my dad so much and I'm thankful to God for keeping him and my mom alive to be a part of this.<br />
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My mom.....my respect for her has tripled since I became engaged. Its so hard to be a woman in this male dominated world. Harder self to he Married to a man like my dad I guess...its hard being his daughter....wonder how it is to be his wife. Childbirth...nurturing...all the sacrifices....its not easy at all. I pray God blesses her with long life to enjoy the fruit of her labor.<br />
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My friends have been amazing throughout this process. I have few friends and they have all come through for me. <br />
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This whole planning process has been a roller coaster of emotions. I guess its almost here.<br />
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I just need to survive the remaining three weeks.<br />
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I wonder how marriage would be....I pray its nowhere close to what this planning has been though.<br />
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I guess I'm about to find out <br />
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The tears are all gone....I'm actually smiling now....wierd indeed.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-37967212739550811702012-01-06T13:49:00.000-08:002012-01-06T13:49:09.221-08:00my sister is getting married tommorowTomorrow. My sister that God sent to another family is getting married. <br />
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We'v been friends since I was six and we moved to Lagos from Kaduna. She was the cute friendly little seven years old in the jeans mini skirt & cream top in church that sunday that was the beginning of a 19 year relationship. <br />
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She was the only daughter of her parents like I was and we decided to be each other's sisters.<br />
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By some stroke of fate, we ended up in the same secondary school. I remember those Saturdays she spent practicing to weave hair with mine (she soon perfected it like every other thing she laid her hands on).<br />
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She helped me grow spiritually and I helped her focus academically. <br />
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After secondary school, we went to the same jamb lesson. Ah! Those days of breakfast in her house.<br />
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Remember when she came to my house to tell me she got admission. We both cried and wrote about each other in our diaries. Lol.<br />
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Then her family moved to abuja! We did not have the holidays anymore. <br />
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When I got engaged I called her and she was so happy for me. Two weeks later she called me that her boyfriend proposed. <br />
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Fastforward to December. I bought my tickets to abuja. So I could go by road with her and her family to jos for her wedding. <br />
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With all these bombing and boko haram threat. My mom & my dad asked me not to go. Was gonna disobey them but they have a point. The whole Nigeria is unsafe. The North is triply unsafe. <br />
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My sister is getting married in jos tomorrow and I am here. Lying on my bed in Lagos, typing this, tears in my eyes.<br />
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Screw this country <br />
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Screw boko haram <br />
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Screw the Government for making fuel subsidy their priority with the current state of insecurity in the country <br />
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Happy married life J<br />
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Happy new year everybodydoll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-11889236479434667242011-12-24T11:50:00.000-08:002012-01-03T22:59:01.535-08:002011 wasn't badI turned 25 <br />
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I got engaged <br />
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My fiance got a new job <br />
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I attended some interviews <br />
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Dint get any job though <br />
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I had my marriage introduction <br />
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I started planning my wedding <br />
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I digress <br />
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I always wondered about my friends that planned their wedding admist many drama<br />
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Unfortunately I have realized that when multiple people have vested interest in anything arguments must surface.<br />
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i'v had many argument and one shouting match with my dad who I think had made this whole thing about him and what he wants forgeting that it may not be what we want or what my inlwas want <br />
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I have quarelled with the fiance and honestly we"v thought of canceling the wedding over silly stuff like number of guests. <br />
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Yup....that's how things can get apparently <br />
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2012 is a pregnant with expectations for me. <br />
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I'm getting married in 5 weeks <br />
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Can't wait for it to be over <br />
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I hope to be a better person <br />
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To be a good daughter to God <br />
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To be a good wife to my husband <br />
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And a better employee to my employers.<br />
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I pray I get a new job <br />
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I pray the wedding go well <br />
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I pray marriage lives up to my expectations <br />
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Merry xmas and happy 2012<br />
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P.s don't know wassup with my template. Regardless of all the spacings my last two posts including this comes out cramped. How do I fix this?doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-45699336744399101812011-12-19T05:09:00.000-08:002016-10-26T01:27:24.622-07:00my dressI got my dress today.<br />
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I almost cried when i tried it on.<br />
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It was so lovely, the lace beautiful, the crystals on it.....arrrrgh i almost cried. LOL<br />
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Now i feel like a bride<br />
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It was big , i am two size smaller.<br />
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Took it in for fittingdoll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-46149220207515486422011-12-08T00:41:00.001-08:002012-01-03T23:00:16.327-08:00from daddy's house to husband's houseI never wanted to move from Daddy’s house to husband’s house <br />
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I always wondered what it was like to be totally independent; make my own decisions and bear the consequences, go out and come as I please, be a slob, not own any kitchen utensils just because I can.(since I graduated I have been financially independent but never independent accommodation wise, even in the university, I never lived alone, NYSC and the five years plus of work post university, I never lived alone. <br />
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I found out soon enough that wasn’t happening in this lifetime. By the time I was 22, I tried to move out due to the commute from mainland to island but daddy wasn’t having any of that. Then the whole family moved to the island and there was no need for any of that. <br />
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My fiancé and I have gotten a house and it is very beautiful. Finally I have a place, even though I don’t get to live alone, even though I don’t get to be a slob, even though I have to cook and cook regularly for that matter, I am very excited. At least I get a say on the colors to paint, I get a say on what furniture, what utensils, what equipment, what type of décor yay! Yay! <br />
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And the best part, it is ten minutes away from the office, so I get to sleep in late and get home early on weekdays. Now I just have to endure traffic for the next 7 weeks.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-66130148952529080442011-11-28T07:48:00.000-08:002012-01-03T22:59:18.874-08:00two weeks vacationI rested but not so much. It was my fiancé’s dad’s tenth year remembrance ceremony so we went to Benin for that. It was kind of nice to meet the extended family. <br /><br />
After that we went my home town for our introduction, the weird part was I felt like a spectator like the gathering wasn’t for me or for us, like I was sitting in somebody’s introduction. <br /><br />
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When my parents were making the list from our immediate family they said there is an allocation for me to say what I want the groom to buy for me and I said nightgown, my dad was like seriously and with a straight face I said yup! Seriously. My mom requested for 10k, my dad requested for a fabric. All in all the list is very very reasonable, mostly drinks, kolanuts, 20 tubers of yam, N200 brideprice, etc. infact I’v been teasing him that they are dashing him wife.<br /><br />
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My parents said that customary they are to buy me pots, plates, cutleries, wrappers, 3 boxes and a gift of my choosing to take to my husband’s house. I have begged that the wrapper matter should be left out, I don’t want them to waste their money and I have no intention of tying wrappers anytime soon. For the gift I chose a deep freezer.<br /><br />
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Its two months and a week and 5 days to go and I’m kinda ahead of my workplan which is good. I have even distributed asoebi (although I am beginning to wish I did not bother with this). <br /><br />
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We(I and the fiancé) have been quarrelling a lot, I think he’s been spending recklessly for someone that is getting married soon and has a wedding to finance. Also he says I’m a feminist I say he is a chauvinist. You see being the only male child and last of six children, he’s been over indulged so much so that he doesn’t take saving seriously and also I think he was brought up in a “If not for you all daddy’s toils would have gone to daddy’s brothers” male children are king kinda environment. Marriage counselling has helped us put some things in perspective. However after our last fight, we sat and talked about stuff and I think we’v reached a middle ground sorta. I have also resolved within me not to nag him about money for the wedding after all it’s just one day (strike that two days). I have also resolved to stop being argumentative, I know I like arguing but he apparently doesn’t and cannot argue without getting angry.<br /><br />
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We found a house yay! It’s very close to our offices YAY! YAY! Now I can look forward to a traffic free married life. <br /><br />
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I hate cooking but these days I find myself excited about cooking for him, yesterday he said he was gonna come straight to my house from the airport I happily bounced to the kitchen to fix him dinner, I was even humming whilst cooking, weird!<br /><br />
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Anytime I think of him, the wedding, I find myself smiling stupidly. I guess I’m over last minutes jitters.<br /><br />
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I am back to work (BBM crying smileys here) and back to the gym, speaking of which; I ate and drank like a glutton these two weeks and the scale did not budge. O well, that wasn’t a complaint.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-80312066580918978172011-10-25T02:55:00.000-07:002011-10-25T03:05:42.337-07:00Count down: 3 months; 1 week.A lot has happened since I blogged last. The fiancé has resumed at his new place of work and it has been weird not seeing him at his seat. But I still see him almost every mornings anyways.<br />
<br />
Before we started counseling, I thought it would be all about “don’t have sex before marriage”, “be submissive”. “be loving” etc. Thankfully and surprisingly, it has been so deep, practical and useful. We have talked about having a healthy self-image and how a poor self-image affects marriage. We’v talked about stuff that can lead to conflict in marriage and how to handle them. Last week we started our classes on communication, ironically we had a big fight the Friday before and after the class we could see how communication would have helped avoid it. It is really going on well.<br />
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The weight loss is also going very well, it has been 12 weeks of going to the gym at least 4 times a week (most times 5 days) and it is paying off big time. When I get my dress (which should get to the store in the US on the 15th of next month yay!). I shall be ready.<br />
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My dad is one of a kind (I swear). Have you heard of anybody who’s two parents live in Lagos, travel to the village for introduction so that the kinsmen can be part of it. I said introduction o! not traditional wedding. the man exasperate me. But mumc keeps reminding me that I’m his only daughter so I should indulge him. It would be easier if he was more reasonable but then it is daddy, <a href="http://dollchic.blogspot.com/2009/08/where-to-draw-line.html">no surprises</a>. Anyways we have to go to the village in about two weeks<br />
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I went for my wedding makeup trial (thank God I did). Cuz I got constructive feedback from a couple of friends and now we know just what work.<br />
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I’m sorting out my bridesmaids this week and also placing order for asoebi this weekend. We’v ordered our wedding invitations from the States.<br />
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After which I would have music band, MC, wedding bands, clothes& shoes& accessories for bride and groom (traditional wedding), wedding programme outstanding. The fiancé has not ordered or even decided where to order his tuxedo from or what to do about his grooms men. O well, that is not on my workplan so…<br />
<br />
Its 3 months, one week to go.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-12327132762672389042011-10-06T02:27:00.000-07:002011-10-06T02:27:22.610-07:00Absu Rape walk + Bridemaid palaver + more testimoniesI participated in the ABSU rape walk yesterday in Lagos. The turnout was impressive, a good number of guys turned up too. Reporters from the BBC and other media were on ground and the Police and Lastma were behind us as well. We walked from NTA on Ahmadu Bello to Abia State Liaison office on Ahmadu Bello as well, but we walked through the streets In between. All in all, the walk took an hour and half. We carried placards, sang, distributed tracts, etc. <br />
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The shocker however, was that most of the men we gave the tracts to, said and I quote “tell women not to dress enticingly so as not to attract rape to themselves”. This was the consensus from mallam hawking on the streets / gatemen to educated, enlightened people in cars. Na wa! We have a lot to do in educating ourselves and our children especially our sons. Even if a woman is naked, look the other way, how does that mean she is asking to be raped? SMH. NO means NO. <br />
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See me see bridesmaid palaver! I have three best-friends from three phases of my life; childhood, church and university. I asked the three of them to be on my bridal train plus two others friends. I wanted the University bestie to be the Maid of Honor (MOH), apart from the fact that she is my most recent bestie, she is also in the UK and she can buy her dress there and it would be ok for her to have a different dress since she is the MOH. <br />
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My childhood bestie lives in Zaria, our communication is majorly telephone and email based as we probably see once in two years and she is getting married a month before me so no issues on why she isn’t MOH and stuff.<br />
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My bestie from church however lives here in Lagos and she is the one that has been helping me with some running around and stuff here. However, she automatically assumed she would be MOH and I couldn’t say she wasn’t, so I became stuck with two MOH.<br />
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I am fine with having two MOH, however, University bestie found out that I had two MOHs and is mad and doesn’t want to be on the train anymore. Things have been strained between us ever since.<br />
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October has started on a good note for me. I was promoted two steps at the office. Praise the Lord!!!!!<br />
P.S I am still looking to change jobs though.<br />
P.P.S i tried uploading pictures from the walk, but i cant, either the pictures are large or my connection is slow.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-73004483042812144952011-09-30T23:02:00.000-07:002011-09-30T23:02:48.643-07:004 months to goHappy new month.<br />
<br />
4 months to go. <br />
preparations are not were I thought they would be now<br />
but I'm still grateful<br />
<br />
September was an awesome and testimony filled month for me.<br />
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My fiance got a job - we were beginning to consider postponing the wedding, because we did not want to get married whilst working for the same firm. Even though our boss has offered to amend the office policy because he doesn't want to lose any of us, we felt we should diversify our financial risk before marrying. Anyways, when all our parents, uncles, aunties and all our contact failed, God turned up. He did that which only him can do and which only him can take the glory for.<br />
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My private client(what we call personal practice "PP") also came through. This is the biggest PP job i have done till date. The deal was signed in January and i'v been waiting on mobilization since April. i guess it couldn't have come in a more perfect time. I am liquid! YAY <br />
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This month of October, hopefully, i should accelerate my planning. We found another hall we liked, it was absolutely beautiful, needed little or no decoration, came with a lot of perks, however someone beat us to it. Apparently, valentine weekend is HOT in demand for wedding. We have decided to settle for <a href="http://dollchic.blogspot.com/2011/09/reception-venue.html">this</a>, because it is the other perfect place we have found. This means food and drinks have also been taken care of.<br />
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We have also started marriage counseling in the church.<br />
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Next up on my list is sorting my bridesmaids out, purchasing our rings, ordering our wedding IVs and Programme.<br />
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Here to a testimony filled October<br />
<br />
Happy independence celebrationdoll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-57809901899557691882011-09-02T06:21:00.000-07:002011-09-02T06:21:09.421-07:00Reception VenueSo last weekend, we went to check out a potential reception venue and we both loved it. <br />
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The hall was big with space that gives plenty options for decoration. Also the ambiance was cool, lots of greens, you know garden type stuff, enough spots to take really cool pictures, neat environment, enough parking space. Also because it is a sports recreational club located in an estate, we can rule out people just strolling past and looking for food to eat. The price for the hall was exactly our budget, infact it is cheaper for members of the club and some of my dad's friends are members so we could save about 100k by booking through them. The fiance and i were really excited.<br />
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Until we were told we need to patronize them for food and drinks. I haven't gotten a caterer yet, if the food would be good why not? why worry about cooling vans for the drinks, etc. if they can worry about it. and of course they said we could bring in our shayo (alcohol). So we are good yea?<br />
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Up until i saw the price list. we'll be paying restaurant price for the food and drinks. and saving nothing for cooking in bulk? i mean 500 people! (we are planning to invite 250 - 300 people and prepare for 500).<br />
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When she (the liaison person) sensed my loss of interest, she said she can offer some discounts here and there! she is to bring the revised invoice to my office on Tuesday but i think i better spend this weekend scouting for options.<br />
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Happy September! Congrats to Sirius on the birth of her bouncing baby.<br />
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P.s i have been having funny recurrent dreams were my bridemaid (a different one each time) refuses to wear their dress on my wedding day! very WEIRDdoll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-83632512453616742102011-08-16T04:27:00.000-07:002011-08-16T04:29:56.202-07:00Why did we struggle to grow up???Life is one twisted irony! <br />
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When we were in secondary school, we all longed to get into university, freedom! School without uniform, campus life, less parental controls, etc.<br />
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Then we got to university and became fed up with endless lectures, project work, assignments, etc. The working class strata became more attractive, Imagine working hard and being paid at the end of the month as opposed to an A grade in our report cards. We imagine being able to spend money on some luxuries we craved but couldn’t dare to mention to our parents.<br />
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Then we graduate with good grades and get the dream job and realize that waking up at 5am to spend endless hours in traffic, to sit in front of the computer crunching numbers isn’t exactly fun. We find out soon enough that the take home doesn’t really take us home. Being among the working class population is not as exciting as we imagined it would be.<br />
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Then we begin to seek out the next new excitement. What next? Marriage of course. We begin to fantasize about finding “the one”. It would be nice to have someone to be there for us permanently, no worries about if we are wanted for just for sex, or for money, or for looks. This right here is for keeps, forever! Only to find out that living happily ever after is just a fantasy and idols have clay feet.<br />
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Then we graduate to giving birth to children only to realize that babies are super cute when they can be returned, not when you are stuck with them 24:7.<br />
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Then we wake up one day with 10 teeth, needing the support of a walking stick to move around and we wondered why we grew up, because growing up is indeed a TRAP.<br />
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My point???make the most of the phase of life you are right now, cause there is no turning back the hands of the clock.<br />
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P.S i'm cranky, anxious, on edge, and uneasy. I need a vacation!!!!!<br />
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I am trying to inhale, exhale...breathe <br />
doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-43749122483615897512011-08-15T01:57:00.000-07:002011-08-15T09:49:06.204-07:00Thankful MondaySO I did not get the job I mentioned in my former post and I have been feeling sorry for myself, but there is still a lot to be thankful for so I have to snap out of it sharply and offer my sacrifice of praise. Here goes my top 5:<br />
1. God - My father, my friend. There are times I feel so loved by him, and other times when I feel abandoned by him. But I have come to realize that he always comes through for me and I’m really grateful that I have my prayer book to remind me of his mercies over the years and to power up my faith.<br />
2. Life – Headcount, everyone complete. 7 months of 2011 is behind us, and I have not lost any family member or anyone I love. I can’t take this for granted<br />
3. Love – My fiancé: my lover, my friend. Every day I thank God for taking my all heart desires including the ones I couldn’t dare to hope for and breathing life into it. Now I can read God’s definition of love (as found in 1st Corinthians 13) with a smile. I have indeed found “the one”. <br />
4. Family – I was listening to Chaz B’s sharing life issues sometime last week and the conclusion was that most families are dysfunctional. My family are not rich, just lower average, but they are united, full of life, supportive, loving, caring, and most importantly saved. <br />
5. Laughter - Haven experienced emotional and financial discouragement, disappointment and depression at some point in my life, laughter is indeed a pleasure, a luxury to be thankful for.<br />
doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-42888706555471679422011-08-04T02:30:00.000-07:002011-08-04T05:11:01.093-07:00Count down - 6 months!If it pleases the Lord, six months down the line today, I shall be getting married traditionally. I am excited and scared at the same time. <br />
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Before i got engaged, all I saw was wedding pictures, happy couples, etc but since I copped the ring, friends and peeps generally have been coming clean and open; hammering how marriage is not a bed of roses, how it is hard work, how 80% of expectations would not be met, how it is stifling, how it is choking, etc. It is so scary I just want to run away. The fiancé and I have been talking about it a lot these days, the poor guy probably think I’m getting cold feet from the way I’v been bringing all these up, he even asked if I wanted to move the dates up, LOL. No cold feet here honestly, I guess one is always apprehensive about the unknown but truth is there is no one I’d rather be embarking on this journey with, because he is truly amazing and I know he’ll make a good husband and a good father and most importantly we have God as our foundation.<br />
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So six months to go, I’m really reluctant to delve fully into planning, because I need to get another job ASAP, we both work together and even though my MD has told me three times, that he wouldn’t want to lose any of us and he’ll find a way to work around it, I really don’t want to get married here. It is too much of a risk financially for both husband and wife to earn a living from the same place. I attended a couple of interviews in July, had the final stage of one last week, so your prayers are solicited o! this is topmost in my request sheet to God.<br />
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Anyways, my dress has been sorted out, I’ll get it in November or early December, then I’ll worry about accessories and the like then. I shall register us for counseling this month and we can start in September. Wedding venue has been picked but not paid for yet. I’ll try the caterer for the introduction first, if we are impressed then she’ll do the wedding, the fiance doesn’t want the regular jollof rice, moin-moin and chicken, he wants a really rich menu with different kind of sauces and the like. I’m open to recommendations for vendors especially for everything from MC, band, decorator, drinks, food, everything.<br />
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On the weight loss bit, the instructor at the gym asked that i reduce my activity from 5 times a week to 4 times, i agreed (after this month hehehe)<br />
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The colors for the white wedding! Peaches and ivory (cream) (was chosen by the fiance o) how does that sound???<br />
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For the traditional i want yellow, what does yellow go with apart from brown????<br />
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Happy new month! May our dreams come true in August.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-68468465105317413602011-07-29T01:43:00.000-07:002011-07-29T01:45:24.577-07:004kG lighter + randomsGoal achieved for week two as well. So between last Monday when this weight loss journey started and today, I have averaged 15 hours of work out. Nothing like the <strike>white </strike> ivory dress to keep a girl motivated!<br />
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On Wednesday 5 people at work asked if I was losing weight YAY!!!!!!. Weighed myself this morning and I am down to 69KG double YAY!!!!!!!!!! 4KG gone, isn’t God amazing????Now I have just 6KG to lose, then I’ll slow down to maintenance mode! <br />
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Thanks for all your comments on my last posts, for people that urged me to eat right! I always try to o! but between my desk job and my car, it is really easy to pile on weight.<br />
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SO we’v finally narrowed down to 2 weekends in Feb for the wedding! Triple Yay!!! LOL. So basically I have 6 months to plan which is good news. Next item on my workplan Wedding colors and wedding counseling and introduction in that order.<br />
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Happy weekend and happy August!doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-7787653117460856422011-07-22T09:06:00.001-07:002011-07-27T01:20:08.677-07:00Goal achieved for week oneSO I registered and resumed at the gym on Monday.<br />
Was able to meet my goal of 90 mins mon - fri (5 times a week)<br />
Goal met for week one<br />
I really hope I can sustain the momentum<br />
Need to lose 10kg<br />
I ordered my dress in size 12 and that sucked big time<br />
Hopefully when it comes, it comes it would need pleeeeeeeeeeeeeenty alterations cuz I would be a size 8<br />
Thank God it’s Friday.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-21135488942694004672011-07-19T05:04:00.000-07:002011-07-19T05:04:00.713-07:00wedding dress - updateSo I went to consult Nigerian designer I mentioned in my <a href="http://dollchic.blogspot.com/2011/06/dress.html">earlier</a> and guess how much my bill was N350,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. (not that the style was anything complicated o! apparently anything that has lace starts from 300k) That was way above my budget and my budget is pretty healthy. I guess that’s typical of us Nigerians, to carve a niche for yourself, you have to be expensive, plus business is good, she had many brides-to-be waiting for consultation as well.<br />
Anyways, I checked some stores and some naija bridal store here and concluded that most of the dresses here are china (inferior made). I am still cringing from some of the “lace” in some of the dresses I saw.<br />
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After endless souring online I finally found the dress, It is a Maggie Sottero dress. It is simple, elegant, mermaid style, with lace and Swarovski crystals, it has a long train and comes with inner corset. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though it was a teeny weeny bit over my budget plus the fact that I changed dollars for N165 did not help. Bottomline, I have ordered the dress in Ivory and I’ll get it early November. I know someone is thinking to herself all wedding dresses are made in China, yes I know!!! Afterall even Vera Wang does not stay up stitching dresses herself, but I guess Quality Control and Assurance goes a long way.<br />
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With my dress sorted, I can face my bridesmaid dresses in August. I have decided not to be involved in tailor matter, or style matter, for obvious reasons, I have been bridesmaid thrice and I hated the style the bride chose for us, I hated the tailor’s handiwork too (terrible finishing). Therefore, we’ll collectively buy the fabric for all bridesmaid so that the fabric would be uniform, then each individual can pick out a style (show me first of course just for my information!) and a tailor and make her dress. Only the Chief Bridesmaid wears a long dress though.<br />
I have also started making a list of vendors, though I have contacted no one yet. <br />
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I went to a wedding recently, the couple (bride and groom) were Delta igbo, but the band kept playing Yoruba songs!!!!! I guess these are the softer stuff I should be taking note of.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7899449235318590015.post-87101174960350320012011-06-12T23:30:00.001-07:002011-06-12T23:36:22.200-07:00Finding love in the least likely place (Part Two)Can’t say it was love at first sight because we have been working at the same organization for over a year without saying much to each other. I remember thinking to myself once that this new guy has nice shirts and dresses well. I also remember thinking to myself this guy is arrogant and unfriendly.<br />
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At some point, we started talking especially when he moved to my hood, he tried hooking me up with his best friend as well. When a bike man ran into my car and took out my doors, I and my brother hitched with him for about 2 weeks to VI. <br />
<br />
Anyways, I was ill and din’t come to work for about a week, he called me to say he hasn’t seen me at work, after asking about my health, he went to real reason why he noticed I wasn’t at work (although he won’t admit this!!!), his friend was celebrating his birthday in the hood and I guess they were looking to invite as many babes as possible, so he said I should drop by if I felt better that day.<br />
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<br />
On the Saturday of the party, I was feeling much better and tired of staying in bed, so I dressed up, went for the party, planning to stay one hour max!, got there he mixed a cocktail for me, and somehow we started talking, he told me about business school, about his career aspirations, his 5-year goal, a lot of serious stuff and I sat there so fascinated, I was really tripped and thinking to myself, wow! He has it all figured out, what a focused guy, what an intelligent guy. We talked for ages, sipping on cocktail, later I found out that other folks at the party thought we were dating or had a thing going but it was a very platonic, sensible conversation majorly (till today, he says, for once in his life he actually had no ulterior motive). Anyways, time to go and he held my hands , looked into my eyes and said don’t go yet babe, the party has barely started. That’s when I felt the chemistry, I scampered home fast. Before is slept, I replayed the whole day in my head, wondered if it was the alcohol that got things twisted in my head, if he acted weirdly, if I acted wierdly, if I gave wrong vibes, if he had a girlfriend, etc , I shrugged it off and slept.<br />
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<br />
By Monday, the next week, I had almost forgotten the weekend, he started giving me really weird vibes, e.g. a very cute smile when he passes my desk, buying me breakfast or lunch everyday, from there we graduated to chatting on gtalk occasionally, then to texting back and forth and stuff like that. Invited him to mid week service, when we were chatting one day and it was time for me to go to church (he started coming with me religiously), then I invited him to a musical concert at church on a Saturday and he came, the next day Sunday, he came to church without invitation, I just saw him during offering and my heart skipped a beat, that’s when I knew I was in trouble.<br />
<br />
<br />
Anyways, after about a month or less of all that, we went on our first real date to a very nice lounge on a real date, he told me about his family and their various antics which was really fascinating because my family is relatively small, normal and boring, just us three kids and the parents, he told me about his sisters, their kids, but what distinguished the date, was the way he looked at me, I could hear the sincerity in his voice, also he asked about my education, no guy has ever asked if I wanted to do a masters or what my career aspirations are, the date was really really deep for a first date. <br />
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<br />
Within the next month, I mentioned I was stressed out, wanted a vacation, (I had used all my previous vacation for my professional exams, this was my first vacation after qualifying professionally) but dint want to take time off and just be at home to be doing house work for my parents, so he invited me to his sister’s house in Port Harcourt, had no intention of going so I said I would think about it, my plan was to just post him endlessly, but somewhere along the line, I decided to go, so off we went to shell camp, port Harcourt for a week, his sister and her family were so nice and welcoming, I got to know him a lot better within that week, I got to see that family was important to him, I saw how great he was with his nephews, we shared with each other deep secrets, I spoke with his mum on the phone that week and he told me he loved me that week, I started falling in love with him that week. When the week was over I was sad to go back to Lagos, sad to go back to work.<br />
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<br />
We got back to the office, thought it would be weird but it wasn’t. It was like we were in a world of our won really, we saw each other everyday at work, and every weekend. Anyways, the next month, his friend was getting married in Abuja, so I went with him, met his other sister and her family in Abuja. Within the next five months I met his sister who lived in Lagos but was on vacation somewhere in Europe, then met his mum when she came back from the states, then he met my mum, and life went on till the proposal on my birthday. <br />
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Dating my colleague turned out to be not hard and awkward as I thought It would be, even though everybody at the office knew, cuz you can’t really hide love especially when it is mixed with romance and passion, it had it perks, seeing him everyday, having him smile at me everyday, being able to discuss work and work related activities everyday, the random breakfast, or lunch, or chocolates, or cake or muffins he treats me to. Infact changing jobs, which we are working on would get some getting used to.<br />
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Of course, we have our misunderstandings, quarrels, and down times but I have no shadow of doubt that I am marrying the man God designed for me, specially and custom made. I am glad and grateful, I was able to redeem the pledge which I made in church barely a year ago when I sowed that covenant seed. I am at a point where i can say i am very happy, my soul is happy, my skin is glowing (LOL). I guess all is well that ends well.doll (retired blogger)http://www.blogger.com/profile/04617294319074603189noreply@blogger.com43