5Is then am MIA

I keep only neat naira notes in my wallet; for the scruffy ones I keep them in a brown envelope which I carry in my handbag

I am a perpetual hoarder of change. For some strange reasons I find it very hard to spend change (the neat ones by the way) except if am boxed to the corner. At the end of last year I had about ten thousand naira in 20s, 10s and 50s

I luv reading – preferably fiction. I can read for 12 hours without moving from the spot

I hate all forms of swallow foods – pounded yam, amala, cereals of all kind

I am addicted to series – my best remains one tree hill followed closely by prison break

I wash underwear once in a month on environmental Saturdays precisely to the exasperation of my mother (she claims no man will tolerate that) I have a laundry basket which underwear goes to. I like to blame my busy schedule for it but I know it’s a dirty habit and I’l put it on my list of New Year resolution next year

The offer for the bank job I mentioned earlier lapses today. So I guess I won’t be changing jobs.

I will be MIA for about 4 weeks. My exams are in 3 weeks. I am on study leave so no blogging for me in the interim….

P.S I wonder what happened to risquediva, Naija chickito, the way they stopped blogging did not seem right. I just hope they are still breathing cuz if something happens to any anonymous blogger like death how would blogville know (just a thought); even Afro has been MIA for a while now

What if?

When you luv someone so much that your definition of luv becomes the person and you know the person luvs you even more and has shown it a million and one times by words and actions?

Is it wrong to be tired not of the person or the luv but of the issues that trail the person?

Is it wrong to feel bugged down by the issues that are yours by virtue of being in luv with someone?

What if the memories of the time were there were no issues kept teasing you?

What if you can’t stop wondering why the issues with the one you luv seems to be endless?

What if you felt like walking away from it all?

What if the world is beckoning?

What if there were numerous toasters out there that seem to be offering you an issueless life?

But you know if you walk away you will never get to the point that you will stop worrying about his welfare, if he coping with the issues well, If he is eating, if he is breathing?

What if you will miss him so much and you are not sure that you will luv another much or another will luv you that much?

Is this fear of the unknown or a prisoner of Luv?

Jesus help with the issues Please!!!!!!!

No appealing title its just random

When I went to do comprehensive medicals for the bank job I spoke about earlier (for those who asked I haven’t declined the offer, so the jury is still out) the results said I was AA (genotype) I’ve done this test previously and the results said AA then the lab technician called me the next day to say there was a mix up and that I was AS, I just accepted it anyways. So after the new result I decided to do the test in 2 different hospitals again and the result came out as AA.

All these years I’ve been thinking I was AS, iv taken important decisions that affect my life (who to date, etc based on that. Am a little irritated but thankful sha.

Last week Boo’s kid sister (16 yrs) was diagnosed with Tuberculosis. They decided to seek a second and third specialist opinion and the results of the last two said it wasn’t tuberculosis that what the first Dr saw in the x-ray result was the lungs of an asthmatic patient (the girl is asthmatic). Another medical mistake. Am just thankful cuz the family was already panicking.

For a while, iv been having muscle pull on my left ankle while sleeping, it has happened about 4 times now in the space of 2 months, the last was two days ago and that still hurts, I’ve had to discard my high heels, maybe I should see a doctor about it abi what do u guys think?

Its about 5 weeks to my exams, between my stressful job and reading when I get home till the wee hours of the night, waking up early to beat the traffic, the hellish, unavoidable 3^rd mainland bridge, trying to make a decision as regards the future of my career, being a comforter, listener, attention giver and lover to my Boo (who is undergoing a trying time right now), being the dutiful only daughter to my parents and keeping lustful men at arm lengths my life is pretty busy now and hectic. I wouldn’t wish my life as its looking this week on anyone

Have a good week people.

Baby am i a prude?

I met my primary school classmate sometime last week, on the Island and he still lives in my area, he works in a global accounting firm (like I do) and for the 30 mins or there about that we talked he made sense, sounded intelligent and all. Anyways we decide to see during this long sallah hols to catch up on old times.
Anyways on Monday I went to his house, and we go to the bedroom, no chair, so we sit on the bed and before you can say Jack Robinson this individual started hitting on me big time – Sexually.

It was just amazing. I mean an individual that I met after 12 0r 13 years and the first opportunity we have to discuss like civilized human beings am being sexually harassed. Does going to a guy’s house suggest or imply that you want to have sex with him. I mean it wasn’t like I was indecently dressed; I wore jeans shorts and t-shirt. Anyways I tried to tell him civilly that I wasn’t that type of girl, the idiot actually thought I was fronting and intensified his pursuit. I had to fight him off and almost gave him some slaps before he could leave me alone. Then he called me a PRUDE
I was so irritated I had to talk to someone so I called Boo later in the day and went “this morning I went to see my primary skl friend I found last week at his place.” I hadn’t even finished the statement when that one sparked “WTF” how can you go to a guy’s place without telling me.. Shoo…we don marry? Ok that was in my mind…in reality I went “ he lives in the neighborhood I just strolled down” this bobo no calm down he went on and on about how what I did was wrong, how it was wrong to go to a man’s house alone, worse off without telling him, I tried to chip in that this fellow was a primary school friend not a toaster; for where he dint listen, he was really mad. How could I then tell him the sexual harassment I faced? He would have said I brought it on myself, so I just kept mum.
But I must have missed out something somewhere in life judging from Boo’s reaction and the idiot of my primary school friend’s attitude going to a man’s house must be an open invitation saying come and screw me….Its so saddening and pathetic, but I guess I’ve learnt my lesson

Anyways to the main gist of the day. An ex-toaster has called me a prude before…this guys made a couple of kissing / smooching advances which I refuted and I liked d guy a lot den. Anyways after this incident that that idiot called me a prude again I had to go check the dictionary for the meaning. It means Someone who is overly concerned with decorum and propriety, uncomfortable with sexuality, nudity, drug use or mischief

After reading that I wasn’t too sure if it was a good thing or not, the more I thought about it the more I hated being thought of or called a prude

So I called Boo this morning: “baby do you think am a prude?” and he goes “wow where did that come from?” and I go “just answer” And he goes NO, not at all baby you are fire….LOL and I am like serious I need to know
Anyways long and short according to him its hard to figure me out, I am like a chameleon, sometimes I wear my effiko profile, sometimes party wild girl, other times shy don’t touch me girl. But that after being with me for this long he can say I am a very cautious person and that it takes me time to relax with a guy and loose my inhibitions but when I do I am like a bird let out of the cage…so his answer is NOT REALLY. I guess I should be happy that I am not dulling this young man but am not sure what I really wanted to hear or if I am thrilled being on any side ( the prude side or the Not really prude side)

Reflecting on my life

Iv kept a prayer journal/ spiritual diary since 2005 cuz sometimes I ask God for things and I forget to be grateful enough or I forget my state of mind or how troubled, needy, desperate I was when I prayed.

Anyways over the weekend I read everything iv written about 50 pages and believe me God has been faithful. Everything I have asked of him he has given me. In 2005 I wanted to have the best result in my academic history and he gave me all A’s and a GP of 5. I wanted to graduate with a certain CGPA and he made it possible, I wanted to pass my ACCA exam and I did, I wanted to get a job immediately after skl and I got it, my NYSC year he took control of all the impromptu and numerous travellings, my boyfriends issues he resolved, our finances at home he has taken care of, my brothers admission has been settled and the list goes on and on. GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. I luv u Jesus.

Pls people tell me what can I do to my hair? Its light, its short. I have stunted hair growth. Because of the nature of the hair I never leave it unmade, always on braids or weaveon which doesn’t help matters I know, last wk I was so irritated I chopped the thing into half with scissors all by myself to give it sharp ends. I wish I could cut it all off, but am so scared it wont grow back. Maybe I should let the relaxed part fall of then carry it natural. Am so fed up

Answers & some more

Thanks Y’all for your comment in my last post. (how do I do this link thing self?) This love interest of mine is actually an ex-toaster. When he was asking me out in 2006 I kinda liked him and believe me when I say I like him loads more now than then. He is tall (Not as tall as my boyfriend tho), interesting to talk to (Compared to a lots of guys I know who are just bores! God they should take lessons from him), he has a good job, has a nice ride, looks good and most importantly he is so so so so very very intelligent (am a sucker for intelligent guys who are not too nerdish)

Don’t worry am not going to cheat on my boyfriend, He has a girlfriend now anyways. And I do believe in KARMA. Its just annoying that I can be attracted (you people said its attraction not luv right?) to him for this long. Anyways that is that…

In response to your questions in “Meme about Me” Why did I wait for 4 years before having sex with my boyfriend? We started dating when I was 17 and he was 22. wouldn’t it have been child abuse? LOL. Ok seriously sex I have always believe goes hand in hand with luv. I’v loved him for a long while and I knew he felt the same way but I wanted to be ready; whateva that means.

2^nd question; Having waited for that long why not save it till marriage. My dear in a way I’v always wanted to keep my virginity till marriage bed but after our 4^th anniversary I began to wonder, what if we don’t make it (I mean marriage) you know sometimes love is not sufficient, what you want is not what you get, man proposes Fate/ God disposes and all that. After all we’v been thru together I dint want anybody else to be my first, besides I had gotten to the point where I wont have any regrets, or wish I could undo the deed, or any such reaction if he had said immediately after sex “DOLL I don’t want you again, this is goodbye”. I was READY. LOL. Though btw me & u: during the 2 wks spotting aftermath I had some regrets. LOL

Today is one of them days when I don’t feel too great. Am lacking clarity as regards what I want to do with my life, I luv my job, the pay is good but the hours are way too long. I have worked for 2 years today (today is my Job anniversary). Last week I got a job at a bank (research and budget planning unit). The pay is 150% increase to my salary. Its unbelievably way too much money for a girl my age I tell you. LOL But the thing is am not exactly sure I want to work in the bank, I know its not marketing or something but it still feels like it’s a wrong move, my job feels wrong, this feels wrong too, I dunno what I want to do with my career, I want to do my own thing cuz this white collar job is not it, but WHAT, WHERE, HOW, Why???? I dunno.

This has got to be my longest post eva. Apologies. Have a gd weekend people.

SO I attended 2 bridal showers this week and its just Wednesday

Am not ready for marriage but these days I seem to always be talking bout marriage. I put the blame 100% on the alarming number of weddings I attended last month and the even scarier number am going to attend this month (all my salary these days goes to aso-ebi for real)No am not ready to be married but 2 many pple around me are getting married.

Anyways back to the main gist I attended 2 bridal showers earlier this week. It was so much fun with the usual girlie things, where did you meet, how and stuff.

Time comes for the married young women in our midst to give advice to the bride to-be. There were about ten married folks and they all spoke at length but one statement was common to all of them: “YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR MAN UNTIL YOU START LIVING WITH HIM” now that is some scary shit. How is it possible that the man you have dated (possibly for a long time), that you love, that loves you, that you have shared so many precious moments with will become a stranger just because you are now living under the same roof????? But for ten of them to say it I guess there must be some truth in it. SCARY DEFINITELY SCARY!!!!

You need to see us the unmarried ones scribbling on our notes like it was some lecture we will be examined on. Anyways with all the impeding marriages in blogville I may as well share what I took away (in my notebook) from this shower.

1. Marry a man that is absolutely crazy bout you (don’t compromise this)
2. All men are babies; pamper them and you will get your way
3. Never deny your husband sex and food even when you guys are not in best of terms (really?)
4. Make a conscious effort not to nag
5. Be submissive (don’t emasculate him)
6. Take care of your body and pay attention to your appearance (gym regularly, eat healthy, plan your meals, wear fine cloth, do fine hair styles etc)
7. Compromise (very important)
8. Be accommodating (if you are the quiet, stay at home person and your is the type that draw crowds, prepare to cook and clean after his friends all weekend; don’t chase him out)
9. Be efficient (house work, cooking, catering, pampering and all that can really be tiring esp. for a working wife)
10. Be prayerful and watchful (the onus is on the woman to not allow the devourer enter your home)
11. Have the mindset of “It will work” and “nothing is unresolvable”

Meme bout me

I AM.... cerebral, fun loving, introvert, extrovert, indoor person, outdoor person, am too dynamic

MY EX WAS... No ex sorry! (am still with my first boyfriend)

MAYBE I SHOULD... Give up my life here and move to Vegas

I LOVE... People who love me

I DONT UNDERSTAND... What I want to do with my career…really

I LOST MY.... Virginity two months ago damn!!!

MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND IS.... My first boyfriend

WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR… 4 and half years (a lifetime really)

AND HE IS….. My soulmate

PEOPLE SAY IM.... A great person

LOVE IS... An awesome thing – everyone should partake in this feeling

SOMEWHERE, SOMEONE IS... wishing i would jus give them that chance

I WILL ALWAYS.... Be myself

FOREVER IS.... Not always

I NEVER WANT TO.... Look back and have regrets

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING... I feel like going back to bed

LIFE IS FULL OF.... Surprises

MY PAST IS... good enough to tell my grandkids, too dull to write a book

I GET ANNOYED WHEN.... People annoy me (but hardly sha!)

PARTIES ARE FOR.... dancing (I guess)

GIRLS ARE..... girls….will always be

SEX IS... Lips sealed

I WISH.... I could go back to being a teenager (life was carefree then)

TOMORROW IM GOING TO..... Make my hair (It’s a weekend)

I REALLY WANT SOME.... I dunno

I HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE.... For people who are laggards

I AM NOT.... a bad girl

IF I HAD 100 MILLION DOLLARS... I’d begin my dream of providing education for less privileged girls & women empowerment programmes

MY JOB MAKES ME.... There must be easier and less stressful ways to make this money

Random thoughts

Dressing up this morning, I got extremely upset, to find what to wear is now war. I need a wardrobe overhaul. I hate buying clothes in Nigeria because most times when I go shopping I end up buying stuff just for the sake of it not that they were absolutely irresistible. I’ve been saving to go to Dubai but the rate at which this whole job thingy is going I doubt I’ll have time to travel this year. So am going shopping next weekend, sisters resident in Naija help a girl out, with the list and location of your favorite shops pls.

Now I understand why parents get over anxious bout their children, my younger bother is sixteen. Just completed secondary school, going to Uni next month. Somehow I was in possession of his phone for a short time and I snooped. (I normally don’t do this but I was curious for some strange reasons) anyways the text messages I saw on that phone made me a little worried. Different girls, different erotic messages. Children of these days! God help us, they are not conservative at all.

On a lighter note I have this bad habit I’v been trying to kick for 2 years now. I never noticed this until I started corporate work. I cant seem to leave my feet in my shoes. Once I sit down, unconsciously I take them shoes off. I’v tried to combat the problem by buying shoes with strap but unfortunately I don’t even realize when I take them off. Pls don’t tell me to go for flat corporate shoes. I absolutely hate them.

I have three weddings this weekend, plus ICAN classes 8am to 8pm. I don’t know how I’l juggle them. All these social responsibility is a huge blackmail, so is personal development. Maybe I’l skip all of them and read a novel at home. With the terrible week I had I guess it wont be too bad. Peace people. Enjoy the weekend.

i cant comprehend

Ok so i have this friend i met at A level class, very beauriful girl. we went to the same uni. at least for 100 level. she was the reigning chic on campus then cuz really she is beauriful, gorgeous, all in all.

Anyways she left for America after 100 level, we kept in touch for a while, after which correspondence ceased. Her mails started bouncing back (email de-activated), her no became incorrect.

After 3 years of incommunicado. I get a facebook add last week from her. I was so happy. went on to check he rpage out. Girl friend is now so sexy and gorgeous. i mean all dose baby fat has disappeared, she is so slim now (maybe a size 2) and healthily so. Her stomach is as flat as a board, her complexion is glowing. without wasting time i begin to leave photo comments. (meanwhile i need to register at a gym o!)

After checking out a couple of pictures i realized she is a stripper / lap dancer / hostess in one club like that in DC. I mean d pictures were all but nude with tags like "me preparing for my lap dance", "me before the next set", "me with a customer before a private viewing", "my stunt double", "me and my dancing partner" (this dancing partner is a hunk of a man wearing thong), 'me and my pdancing pole", etc.

I was quite taken aback, cuz this is a buriful intelligent girl, from a wealthy family (am sure if i type her surname here everyone will go really, cuz her popc is well known) with the world at her finger tips and now this is what she has become. The curious me that i am i quickly did some research on the club she works for and got an article (interview) that she granted the press last year. In it she says she ran away from home cuz her popc was stifling her, Africa also stifles freedom of women and that she is very adventourous and innovative. so she bought a one way ticket to DC and never looked back, that her dad tried to get her but she wouldnt come back home, now she is free and living the life.

I guess i should be happy for her, she seems quite happy and fufillled but i turned and tossed that night, ( i tend to overburden myself with people's issue sometimes) wondering what the future will hold for her and stuff). am really toubled o! we used to be really really good friends at some point

But really for a buriful 21 yr old girl from a rich home to abandon studies and become a stripper. is it no big deal? i'd luv to hear especially for people in Diaspora. Maybe its just troubling me cuz i reside in Naija. am sure am over reactin abi?