Two months! Still Adjusting!

check out the first installment

Let’s start with the positives

1. Alone time – At my father’s house, it was rare to be home alone. My mom is a stay at home mom, my brother drove with me to the office, meaning we arrived and departed at the same time, etc.

These days, I leave the office typically between 5-9pm, depending on my work load. If I leave before 7pm, I head to the gym, except on Tuesday when I head to church or Friday when I hang out with my friends occasionally, or days I am tired and go straight home.
However, more often than not, regardless of any activity I embark on, I still get home before the hubs. The man gives the term “workaholic” a new definition.

I have been catching up on tv shows and my novels again after so many years. This is definitely a positive

2. Cooking - I cook dinner EVERY DAY and breakfast and dinner on weekdays! Previously, I used to go a whole month or two! without cooking. My mom like I said was a stay at home mom, so go figure!

When I lived with my parents, I woke up at 5am, got out of the house at 5:30am, got home between 10 & 11pm every weekday. Weekends, I attended lectures for 3 years when I was writing my professional exams, lectures back then began at 8am and ended at 9pm. With that crazy schedule cooking was definitely not in the front burner.

In school we were not allowed to cook and cooking for boyfriends wasn’t my cup of tea either, so for the first time ever in my life, I am cooking regularly, I have creative freedom in the kitchen , I am trying out new recipes, remaking old recipes I saw my mom make and I AM LOVING IT. The hubs says the thought dinner keeps him going at work all-day, and he compliments and appreciates my efforts a lot which also motivates me to bring my A game.

3. Not being a slob – the hubs has OCD as In literally the guy is a freak, a neat freak, he spends the better part of the weekend cleaning the house end to end, even my gas cooker and every nook of the kitchen is not spared. The effort he puts in motivates me to keep my stuff in order and to not make a mess. I am so grateful for a man who cleans up after himself, washes his dishes after eating and doesn’t add cleaning to my burdens.


The negative!

4. Snoring – The hubs snores unfailingly every night, being the light sleeper that I am, I find myself awake sometimes, unable to sleep with the disturbance especially when the gen goes off. This gen matter is another wahala o! I wonder when Nigeria would get power right as a nation. It is so sad. The house we live in is a serviced apartment, we have a central 100kv gen *(DIESEL GUZZLER) shared by all occupants of the compound and it goes off between 12midnight and 5am! With the current heat wave (35 – 40degrees in Lagos), it is almost impossible to sleep well. I’v told the hubs that we must buy an inverter to fill in those hours as individual generators are not allowed.

Anyways, imagine the heat wave plus snoring . It equals discomforts. I have to buy earplugs. I don’t know how effective they are though.

I’m off to England on an 8day vacation alone! It sucks! I’m gonna miss the hubs loads. He’s been sulking and I’v been pretending not to notice. LOL

Happy Easter! Enjoy the extended weekend

2 weeks plus of married life

Yesterday, My dad passed through my office.

The man is obviously missing me evident by the way he hugged me (everybody know Daddy isn't a hugger)

He also said i miss you....aw.....(everybody knows daddy shows no emotions)

I teared up a bit

I miss all of them (daddy, mummy, brothers) too


I now think of my husband's house as my home

I am settling in just fine

the fact that the house is really beautiful doesn't hurt

Sleeping and waking up in his arms every night is the real ish

the late night chats under the duvet

the watching tv and cuddling

eating together in the kitchen

dressing up for work in the morning whilst making small talk


YES YES YES YES

Project wedding

Sealed, Stamped & Delivered


I am extremely grateful for amazing friends. I did not even know I had it this good.


BFF 1 – Flew in from the UK, came to the village for my trad, spent the entire day waiting on me, dancing with me, picking up sprayed money in 4 inch shoes, followed me to Benin the evening after the trad, followed me to Lagos and helped with the last week planning of the white. This amazing friend also bought my wedding shoes when I complained about how stressed I was finding shoes for white and trad and also helped me through my last minutes jitters. Amazing doesn’t quite cut it. Thanks T


BFF 2 – Also my chief bridesmaid, did all the market runs with me, helped with a lot of the coordination, entered an unfortunate bus, spent 12 hours on the road and almost got raped just to be with me for my trad. Spent the whole day waiting on me and followed me to Benin as well the evening of the trad took a whole weeks leave from work to support me.
Kept the train of my dress properly arranged all through the ceremony

Thanks W….can’t wait to return the favour in three months when you would be getting married



My brothers – they definitely did not sit down for one second on both days. Love you guys



And a whole lot of other amazing friends who helped with asoebi distribution, calls, prayers, text and blackberry messages, graced the occasion and of course

BLOGFAM; Thanks for being part of this amazing journey

RECAPS WOULD FOLLOW IN A BIT

9 days more

Next time i blog i would be married i guess

So our trad is in 9 days.....that is next weekend


All is set


All that is left is follow - up calls to vendors



I'm not excited.....i'l explain why maybe later




That said, i would do all i can to enjoy my day as a lot of my efforts and money have gone into it



I need a little help though


The fiance's birthday is the day after the trad, wanna get him something not too pricey (obviously!!!) he can use for the church wedding.


He isn't expecting anything as we'v discussed that I'll buy him a proper gift when i go to England in April.


But this is his first birthday as my hubs figure i should give him something.....


Any suggestions??????



P.s seems like miss Definitely maybe passed on if the anonymous on her page is to be believed! wow!

random wierd ish

Its almost midnight. I'm lying on my bed. Listening to music from the 90s. Its making me nostalgic.

Some of the music reminds me of my ex.. Our love for rap music and jay z was one thing we had in common. Funny how I spent six years with him and I can't really remember our relationship per say. Its like that part of me never existed. I wonder at the fickleness of love. How can someone be your world today and Tomorrow irrelevant in the grand scheme if things.

In less than 4 weeks I'll be married. I remember being that little girl that stayed up the entire night digesting romance novels, wondering about prince charming and how it felt to be swept off my feet and find true love and live happily ever after. When did I grow up and how did it happen so fast? I'm tempted to go and wear my wedding dress. Its hanging in my wardrobe waiting for my big day.

I'm crying....I don't know why. I'm so emotional these days. The slightest thing makes me cry.

Earlier this evening I looked at my dad and I felt so bad for all the fights we have had over this wedding planning. Some people wish their dad was alive to see their big day and here I am stressing about him hijacking my wedding. I love my dad so much and I'm thankful to God for keeping him and my mom alive to be a part of this.


My mom.....my respect for her has tripled since I became engaged. Its so hard to be a woman in this male dominated world. Harder self to he Married to a man like my dad I guess...its hard being his daughter....wonder how it is to be his wife. Childbirth...nurturing...all the sacrifices....its not easy at all. I pray God blesses her with long life to enjoy the fruit of her labor.

My friends have been amazing throughout this process. I have few friends and they have all come through for me.


This whole planning process has been a roller coaster of emotions. I guess its almost here.


I just need to survive the remaining three weeks.


I wonder how marriage would be....I pray its nowhere close to what this planning has been though.


I guess I'm about to find out

The tears are all gone....I'm actually smiling now....wierd indeed.

my sister is getting married tommorow

Tomorrow. My sister that God sent to another family is getting married.

We'v been friends since I was six and we moved to Lagos from Kaduna. She was the cute friendly little seven years old in the jeans mini skirt & cream top in church that sunday that was the beginning of a 19 year relationship.

She was the only daughter of her parents like I was and we decided to be each other's sisters.

By some stroke of fate, we ended up in the same secondary school. I remember those Saturdays she spent practicing to weave hair with mine (she soon perfected it like every other thing she laid her hands on).

She helped me grow spiritually and I helped her focus academically.

After secondary school, we went to the same jamb lesson. Ah! Those days of breakfast in her house.

Remember when she came to my house to tell me she got admission. We both cried and wrote about each other in our diaries. Lol.

Then her family moved to abuja! We did not have the holidays anymore.

When I got engaged I called her and she was so happy for me. Two weeks later she called me that her boyfriend proposed.


Fastforward to December. I bought my tickets to abuja. So I could go by road with her and her family to jos for her wedding.

With all these bombing and boko haram threat. My mom & my dad asked me not to go. Was gonna disobey them but they have a point. The whole Nigeria is unsafe. The North is triply unsafe.

My sister is getting married in jos tomorrow and I am here. Lying on my bed in Lagos, typing this, tears in my eyes.

Screw this country

Screw boko haram

Screw the Government for making fuel subsidy their priority with the current state of insecurity in the country

Happy married life J

Happy new year everybody

2011 wasn't bad

I turned 25

I got engaged


My fiance got a new job

I attended some interviews

Dint get any job though

I had my marriage introduction

I started planning my wedding

I digress

I always wondered about my friends that planned their wedding admist many drama

Unfortunately I have realized that when multiple people have vested interest in anything arguments must surface.

i'v had many argument and one shouting match with my dad who I think had made this whole thing about him and what he wants forgeting that it may not be what we want or what my inlwas want


I have quarelled with the fiance and honestly we"v thought of canceling the wedding over silly stuff like number of guests.

Yup....that's how things can get apparently

2012 is a pregnant with expectations for me.

I'm getting married in 5 weeks

Can't wait for it to be over

I hope to be a better person

To be a good daughter to God

To be a good wife to my husband

And a better employee to my employers.


I pray I get a new job

I pray the wedding go well

I pray marriage lives up to my expectations



Merry xmas and happy 2012

P.s don't know wassup with my template. Regardless of all the spacings my last two posts including this comes out cramped. How do I fix this?

my dress

I got my dress today.


I almost cried when i tried it on.


It was so lovely, the lace beautiful, the crystals on it.....arrrrgh i almost cried. LOL


Now i feel like a bride


It was big , i am two size smaller.


Took it in for fitting

from daddy's house to husband's house

I never wanted to move from Daddy’s house to husband’s house

I always wondered what it was like to be totally independent; make my own decisions and bear the consequences, go out and come as I please, be a slob, not own any kitchen utensils just because I can.(since I graduated I have been financially independent but never independent accommodation wise, even in the university, I never lived alone, NYSC and the five years plus of work post university, I never lived alone.  

I found out soon enough that wasn’t happening in this lifetime. By the time I was 22, I tried to move out due to the commute from mainland to island but daddy wasn’t having any of that. Then the whole family moved to the island and there was no need for any of that.  

My fiancé and I have gotten a house and it is very beautiful. Finally I have a place, even though I don’t get to live alone, even though I don’t get to be a slob, even though I have to cook and cook regularly for that matter, I am very excited. At least I get a say on the colors to paint, I get a say on what furniture, what utensils, what equipment, what type of décor yay! Yay!

And the best part, it is ten minutes away from the office, so I get to sleep in late and get home early on weekdays.   Now I just have to endure traffic for the next 7 weeks.

two weeks vacation

I rested but not so much. It was my fiancé’s dad’s tenth year remembrance ceremony so we went to Benin for that. It was kind of nice to meet the extended family.

After that we went my home town for our introduction, the weird part was I felt like a spectator like the gathering wasn’t for me or for us, like I was sitting in somebody’s introduction.



When my parents were making the list from our immediate family they said there is an allocation for me to say what I want the groom to buy for me and I said nightgown, my dad was like seriously and with a straight face I said yup! Seriously. My mom requested for 10k, my dad requested for a fabric. All in all the list is very very reasonable, mostly drinks, kolanuts, 20 tubers of yam, N200 brideprice, etc. infact I’v been teasing him that they are dashing him wife.



My parents said that customary they are to buy me pots, plates, cutleries, wrappers, 3 boxes and a gift of my choosing to take to my husband’s house. I have begged that the wrapper matter should be left out, I don’t want them to waste their money and I have no intention of tying wrappers anytime soon. For the gift I chose a deep freezer.



Its two months and a week and 5 days to go and I’m kinda ahead of my workplan which is good. I have even distributed asoebi (although I am beginning to wish I did not bother with this).



We(I and the fiancé) have been quarrelling a lot, I think he’s been spending recklessly for someone that is getting married soon and has a wedding to finance. Also he says I’m a feminist I say he is a chauvinist. You see being the only male child and last of six children, he’s been over indulged so much so that he doesn’t take saving seriously and also I think he was brought up in a “If not for you all daddy’s toils would have gone to daddy’s brothers” male children are king kinda environment. Marriage counselling has helped us put some things in perspective. However after our last fight, we sat and talked about stuff and I think we’v reached a middle ground sorta. I have also resolved within me not to nag him about money for the wedding after all it’s just one day (strike that two days). I have also resolved to stop being argumentative, I know I like arguing but he apparently doesn’t and cannot argue without getting angry.



We found a house yay! It’s very close to our offices YAY! YAY! Now I can look forward to a traffic free married life.



I hate cooking but these days I find myself excited about cooking for him, yesterday he said he was gonna come straight to my house from the airport I happily bounced to the kitchen to fix him dinner, I was even humming whilst cooking, weird!



Anytime I think of him, the wedding, I find myself smiling stupidly. I guess I’m over last minutes jitters.



I am back to work (BBM crying smileys here) and back to the gym, speaking of which; I ate and drank like a glutton these two weeks and the scale did not budge. O well, that wasn’t a complaint.