why are you not pregnant?

So it’s been almost 4 months of marriage! And of course the why are you not pregnant / are you pregnant matter is popping up already?
Last weekend one of my best friend / maid of honor got married, I happened to be sitting on the same table with my mother and we had this conversation:

Mum: How are you now how is the hubs? Why dint he come for the wedding?
Me: He is fine, mummy, he is out of town, work!
Mum: Ok, are you pregnant?
Me: What? No! why? Do I look pregnant?
Mum: No! just that it’s been almost 4 months already
Me: ah, ok, we don’t plan to have kids now, I told you na! maybe next year
Mum: I reject it for you, what do you mean?
Me: We are not ready jo, emotionally or financially, besides we are enjoying our alone time
Mum: Alone time? what does that mean? Better do this thing now, that I’m around to help you
Me: you are just 51! Mummy, where do you plan on going, that you won’t be around to help me
Mum: DO it now oooooooooooooooo! It’s too risky to wait. you can have one, then rest
Me: Mummy, leave me alone jo, dint I tell you I was going for interviews, I’m about to change jobs, who would hire me if I’m pregnant
Mum: I hear you o! but family over career. Hope you ar not taking pills? My hand is not there o!
Me: o lawd, mummy! I'm not taking pills let me go and dance in with the bride

ESCAPE!!!!!


Last month, my mother in law was returning to America, she stays 6 months there and 6 months here, at the airport, she cornered me to have this conversation:
MIL: Better do quick and come to America to give birth now that I’m still there o, so I can help you
Me: Ok ma
MIL: All that one my son is saying, next year or 2 years’ time, don’t listen to him o! as women we have our ways, just do what you need to do. Once it has entered it has entered
Me: Ok ma, safe journey

Phew!!!!!!