9 days more

Next time i blog i would be married i guess

So our trad is in 9 days.....that is next weekend


All is set


All that is left is follow - up calls to vendors



I'm not excited.....i'l explain why maybe later




That said, i would do all i can to enjoy my day as a lot of my efforts and money have gone into it



I need a little help though


The fiance's birthday is the day after the trad, wanna get him something not too pricey (obviously!!!) he can use for the church wedding.


He isn't expecting anything as we'v discussed that I'll buy him a proper gift when i go to England in April.


But this is his first birthday as my hubs figure i should give him something.....


Any suggestions??????



P.s seems like miss Definitely maybe passed on if the anonymous on her page is to be believed! wow!

random wierd ish

Its almost midnight. I'm lying on my bed. Listening to music from the 90s. Its making me nostalgic.

Some of the music reminds me of my ex.. Our love for rap music and jay z was one thing we had in common. Funny how I spent six years with him and I can't really remember our relationship per say. Its like that part of me never existed. I wonder at the fickleness of love. How can someone be your world today and Tomorrow irrelevant in the grand scheme if things.

In less than 4 weeks I'll be married. I remember being that little girl that stayed up the entire night digesting romance novels, wondering about prince charming and how it felt to be swept off my feet and find true love and live happily ever after. When did I grow up and how did it happen so fast? I'm tempted to go and wear my wedding dress. Its hanging in my wardrobe waiting for my big day.

I'm crying....I don't know why. I'm so emotional these days. The slightest thing makes me cry.

Earlier this evening I looked at my dad and I felt so bad for all the fights we have had over this wedding planning. Some people wish their dad was alive to see their big day and here I am stressing about him hijacking my wedding. I love my dad so much and I'm thankful to God for keeping him and my mom alive to be a part of this.


My mom.....my respect for her has tripled since I became engaged. Its so hard to be a woman in this male dominated world. Harder self to he Married to a man like my dad I guess...its hard being his daughter....wonder how it is to be his wife. Childbirth...nurturing...all the sacrifices....its not easy at all. I pray God blesses her with long life to enjoy the fruit of her labor.

My friends have been amazing throughout this process. I have few friends and they have all cone through for me.


This whole planning process has been a roller coaster of emotions. I guess its almost here.


I just need to survive the remaining three weeks.


I wonder how marriage would be....I pray its nowhere close to what this planning has been though.


I guess I'm about to find out

The tears are all gone....I'm actually smiling now....wierd indeed.

my sister is getting married tommorow

Tomorrow. My sister that God sent to another family is getting married.

We'v been friends since I was six and we moved to Lagos from Kaduna. She was the cute friendly little seven years old in the jeans mini skirt & cream top in church that sunday that was the beginning of a 19 year relationship.

She was the only daughter of her parents like I was and we decided to be each other's sisters.

By some stroke of fate, we ended up in the same secondary school. I remember those Saturdays she spent practicing to weave hair with mine (she soon perfected it like every other thing she laid her hands on).

She helped me grow spiritually and I helped her focus academically.

After secondary school, we went to the same jamb lesson. Ah! Those days of breakfast in her house.

Remember when she came to my house to tell me she got admission. We both cried and wrote about each other in our diaries. Lol.

Then her family moved to abuja! We did not have the holidays anymore.

When I got engaged I called her and she was so happy for me. Two weeks later she called me that her boyfriend proposed.


Fastforward to December. I bought my tickets to abuja. So I could go by road with her and her family to jos for her wedding.

With all these bombing and boko haram threat. My mom & my dad asked me not to go. Was gonna disobey them but they have a point. The whole Nigeria is unsafe. The North is triply unsafe.

My sister is getting married in jos tomorrow and I am here. Lying on my bed in Lagos, typing this, tears in my eyes.

Screw this country

Screw boko haram

Screw the Government for making fuel subsidy their priority with the current state of insecurity in the country

Happy married life J

Happy new year everybody

2011 wasn't bad

I turned 25

I got engaged


My fiance got a new job

I attended some interviews

Dint get any job though

I had my marriage introduction

I started planning my wedding

I digress

I always wondered about my friends that planned their wedding admist many drama

Unfortunately I have realized that when multiple people have vested interest in anything arguments must surface.

i'v had many argument and one shouting match with my dad who I think had made this whole thing about him and what he wants forgeting that it may not be what we want or what my inlwas want


I have quarelled with the fiance and honestly we"v thought of canceling the wedding over silly stuff like number of guests.

Yup....that's how things can get apparently

2012 is a pregnant with expectations for me.

I'm getting married in 5 weeks

Can't wait for it to be over

I hope to be a better person

To be a good daughter to God

To be a good wife to my husband

And a better employee to my employers.


I pray I get a new job

I pray the wedding go well

I pray marriage lives up to my expectations



Merry xmas and happy 2012

P.s don't know wassup with my template. Regardless of all the spacings my last two posts including this comes out cramped. How do I fix this?

my dress

I got my dress today.


I almost cried when i tried it on.


It was so lovely, the lace beautiful, the crystals on it.....arrrrgh i almost cried. LOL


Now i feel like a bride


It was big , however, about two size smaller.


Took it in for fitting

from daddy's house to husband's house

I never wanted to move from Daddy’s house to husband’s house

I always wondered what it was like to be totally independent; make my own decisions and bear the consequences, go out and come as I please, be a slob, not own any kitchen utensils just because I can.(since I graduated I have been financially independent but never independent accommodation wise, even in the university, I never lived alone, NYSC and the five years plus of work post university, I never lived alone.  

I found out soon enough that wasn’t happening in this lifetime. By the time I was 22, I tried to move out due to the commute from mainland to island but daddy wasn’t having any of that. Then the whole family moved to the island and there was no need for any of that.  

My fiancé and I have gotten a house and it is very beautiful. Finally I have a place, even though I don’t get to live alone, even though I don’t get to be a slob, even though I have to cook and cook regularly for that matter, I am very excited. At least I get a say on the colors to paint, I get a say on what furniture, what utensils, what equipment, what type of décor yay! Yay!

And the best part, it is ten minutes away from the office, so I get to sleep in late and get home early on weekdays.   Now I just have to endure traffic for the next 7 weeks.

two weeks vacation

I rested but not so much. It was my fiancé’s dad’s tenth year remembrance ceremony so we went to Benin for that. It was kind of nice to meet the extended family.

After that we went my home town for our introduction, the weird part was I felt like a spectator like the gathering wasn’t for me or for us, like I was sitting in somebody’s introduction.



When my parents were making the list from our immediate family they said there is an allocation for me to say what I want the groom to buy for me and I said nightgown, my dad was like seriously and with a straight face I said yup! Seriously. My mom requested for 10k, my dad requested for a fabric. All in all the list is very very reasonable, mostly drinks, kolanuts, 20 tubers of yam, N200 brideprice, etc. infact I’v been teasing him that they are dashing him wife.



My parents said that customary they are to buy me pots, plates, cutleries, wrappers, 3 boxes and a gift of my choosing to take to my husband’s house. I have begged that the wrapper matter should be left out, I don’t want them to waste their money and I have no intention of tying wrappers anytime soon. For the gift I chose a deep freezer.



Its two months and a week and 5 days to go and I’m kinda ahead of my workplan which is good. I have even distributed asoebi (although I am beginning to wish I did not bother with this).



We(I and the fiancé) have been quarrelling a lot, I think he’s been spending recklessly for someone that is getting married soon and has a wedding to finance. Also he says I’m a feminist I say he is a chauvinist. You see being the only male child and last of six children, he’s been over indulged so much so that he doesn’t take saving seriously and also I think he was brought up in a “If not for you all daddy’s toils would have gone to daddy’s brothers” male children are king kinda environment. Marriage counselling has helped us put some things in perspective. However after our last fight, we sat and talked about stuff and I think we’v reached a middle ground sorta. I have also resolved within me not to nag him about money for the wedding after all it’s just one day (strike that two days). I have also resolved to stop being argumentative, I know I like arguing but he apparently doesn’t and cannot argue without getting angry.



We found a house yay! It’s very close to our offices YAY! YAY! Now I can look forward to a traffic free married life.



I hate cooking but these days I find myself excited about cooking for him, yesterday he said he was gonna come straight to my house from the airport I happily bounced to the kitchen to fix him dinner, I was even humming whilst cooking, weird!



Anytime I think of him, the wedding, I find myself smiling stupidly. I guess I’m over last minutes jitters.



I am back to work (BBM crying smileys here) and back to the gym, speaking of which; I ate and drank like a glutton these two weeks and the scale did not budge. O well, that wasn’t a complaint.

Count down: 3 months; 1 week.

A lot has happened since I blogged last. The fiancé has resumed at his new place of work and it has been weird not seeing him at his seat. But I still see him almost every mornings anyways.

Before we started counseling, I thought it would be all about “don’t have sex before marriage”, “be submissive”. “be loving” etc. Thankfully and surprisingly, it has been so deep, practical and useful. We have talked about having a healthy self-image and how a poor self-image affects marriage. We’v talked about stuff that can lead to conflict in marriage and how to handle them. Last week we started our classes on communication, ironically we had a big fight the Friday before and after the class we could see how communication would have helped avoid it. It is really going on well.

The weight loss is also going very well, it has been 12 weeks of going to the gym at least 4 times a week (most times 5 days) and it is paying off big time. When I get my dress (which should get to the store in the US on the 15th of next month yay!). I shall be ready.

My dad is one of a kind (I swear). Have you heard of anybody who’s two parents live in Lagos, travel to the village for introduction so that the kinsmen can be part of it. I said introduction o! not traditional wedding. the man exasperate me. But mumc keeps reminding me that I’m his only daughter so I should indulge him. It would be easier if he was more reasonable but then it is daddy, no surprises. Anyways we have to go to the village in about two weeks

I went for my wedding makeup trial (thank God I did). Cuz I got constructive feedback from a couple of friends and now we know just what work.

I’m sorting out my bridesmaids this week and also placing order for asoebi this weekend. We’v ordered our wedding invitations from the States.

After which I would have music band, MC, wedding bands, clothes& shoes& accessories for bride and groom (traditional wedding), wedding programme outstanding. The fiancé has not ordered or even decided where to order his tuxedo from or what to do about his grooms men. O well, that is not on my workplan so…

Its 3 months, one week to go.

Absu Rape walk + Bridemaid palaver + more testimonies

I participated in the ABSU rape walk yesterday in Lagos. The turnout was impressive, a good number of guys turned up too. Reporters from the BBC and other media were on ground and the Police and Lastma were behind us as well. We walked from NTA on Ahmadu Bello to Abia State Liaison office on Ahmadu Bello as well, but we walked through the streets In between. All in all, the walk took an hour and half. We carried placards, sang, distributed tracts, etc.

The shocker however, was that most of the men we gave the tracts to, said and I quote “tell women not to dress enticingly so as not to attract rape to themselves”. This was the consensus from mallam hawking on the streets / gatemen to educated, enlightened people in cars. Na wa! We have a lot to do in educating ourselves and our children especially our sons. Even if a woman is naked, look the other way, how does that mean she is asking to be raped? SMH. NO means NO.



See me see bridesmaid palaver! I have three best-friends from three phases of my life; childhood, church and university. I asked the three of them to be on my bridal train plus two others friends. I wanted the University bestie to be the Maid of Honor (MOH), apart from the fact that she is my most recent bestie, she is also in the UK and she can buy her dress there and it would be ok for her to have a different dress since she is the MOH.

My childhood bestie lives in Zaria, our communication is majorly telephone and email based as we probably see once in two years and she is getting married a month before me so no issues on why she isn’t MOH and stuff.

My bestie from church however lives here in Lagos and she is the one that has been helping me with some running around and stuff here. However, she automatically assumed she would be MOH and I couldn’t say she wasn’t, so I became stuck with two MOH.

I am fine with having two MOH, however, University bestie found out that I had two MOHs and is mad and doesn’t want to be on the train anymore. Things have been strained between us ever since.


October has started on a good note for me. I was promoted two steps at the office. Praise the Lord!!!!!
P.S I am still looking to change jobs though.
P.P.S i tried uploading pictures from the walk, but i cant, either the pictures are large or my connection is slow.

4 months to go

Happy new month.

4 months to go.
preparations are not were I thought they would be now
but I'm still grateful

September was an awesome and testimony filled month for me.

My fiance got a job - we were beginning to consider postponing the wedding, because we did not want to get married whilst working for the same firm. Even though our boss has offered to amend the office policy because he doesn't want to lose any of us, we felt we should diversify our financial risk before marrying. Anyways, when all our parents, uncles, aunties and all our contact failed, God turned up. He did that which only him can do and which only him can take the glory for.


My private client(what we call personal practice "PP") also came through. This is the biggest PP job i have done till date. The deal was signed in January and i'v been waiting on mobilization since April. i guess it couldn't have come in a more perfect time. I am liquid! YAY

This month of October, hopefully, i should accelerate my planning. We found another hall we liked, it was absolutely beautiful, needed little or no decoration, came with a lot of perks, however someone beat us to it. Apparently, valentine weekend is HOT in demand for wedding. We have decided to settle for this, because it is the other perfect place we have found. This means food and drinks have also been taken care of.

We have also started marriage counseling in the church.

Next up on my list is sorting my bridesmaids out, purchasing our rings, ordering our wedding IVs and Programme.

Here to a testimony filled October

Happy independence celebration