Saturday, December 24, 2011

2011 wasn't bad

I turned 25

I got engaged

My fiance got a new job

I attended some interviews

Dint get any job though

I had my marriage introduction

I started planning my wedding

I digress

I always wondered about my friends that planned their wedding admist many drama

Unfortunately I have realized that when multiple people have vested interest in anything arguments must surface.

i'v had many argument and one shouting match with my dad who I think had made this whole thing about him and what he wants forgeting that it may not be what we want or what my inlwas want

I have quarelled with the fiance and honestly we"v thought of canceling the wedding over silly stuff like number of guests.

Yup....that's how things can get apparently

2012 is a pregnant with expectations for me.

I'm getting married in 5 weeks

Can't wait for it to be over

I hope to be a better person

To be a good daughter to God

To be a good wife to my husband

And a better employee to my employers.

I pray I get a new job

I pray the wedding go well

I pray marriage lives up to my expectations

Merry xmas and happy 2012

P.s don't know wassup with my template. Regardless of all the spacings my last two posts including this comes out cramped. How do I fix this?

Monday, December 19, 2011

my dress

I got my dress today.

I almost cried when i tried it on.

It was so lovely, the lace beautiful, the crystals on it.....arrrrgh i almost cried. LOL

Now i feel like a bride

It was big , i am two size smaller.

Took it in for fitting

Thursday, December 8, 2011

from daddy's house to husband's house

I never wanted to move from Daddy’s house to husband’s house

I always wondered what it was like to be totally independent; make my own decisions and bear the consequences, go out and come as I please, be a slob, not own any kitchen utensils just because I can.(since I graduated I have been financially independent but never independent accommodation wise, even in the university, I never lived alone, NYSC and the five years plus of work post university, I never lived alone.  

I found out soon enough that wasn’t happening in this lifetime. By the time I was 22, I tried to move out due to the commute from mainland to island but daddy wasn’t having any of that. Then the whole family moved to the island and there was no need for any of that.  

My fiancé and I have gotten a house and it is very beautiful. Finally I have a place, even though I don’t get to live alone, even though I don’t get to be a slob, even though I have to cook and cook regularly for that matter, I am very excited. At least I get a say on the colors to paint, I get a say on what furniture, what utensils, what equipment, what type of décor yay! Yay!

And the best part, it is ten minutes away from the office, so I get to sleep in late and get home early on weekdays.   Now I just have to endure traffic for the next 7 weeks.

Monday, November 28, 2011

two weeks vacation

I rested but not so much. It was my fiancé’s dad’s tenth year remembrance ceremony so we went to Benin for that. It was kind of nice to meet the extended family.

After that we went my home town for our introduction, the weird part was I felt like a spectator like the gathering wasn’t for me or for us, like I was sitting in somebody’s introduction.

When my parents were making the list from our immediate family they said there is an allocation for me to say what I want the groom to buy for me and I said nightgown, my dad was like seriously and with a straight face I said yup! Seriously. My mom requested for 10k, my dad requested for a fabric. All in all the list is very very reasonable, mostly drinks, kolanuts, 20 tubers of yam, N200 brideprice, etc. infact I’v been teasing him that they are dashing him wife.

My parents said that customary they are to buy me pots, plates, cutleries, wrappers, 3 boxes and a gift of my choosing to take to my husband’s house. I have begged that the wrapper matter should be left out, I don’t want them to waste their money and I have no intention of tying wrappers anytime soon. For the gift I chose a deep freezer.

Its two months and a week and 5 days to go and I’m kinda ahead of my workplan which is good. I have even distributed asoebi (although I am beginning to wish I did not bother with this).

We(I and the fiancé) have been quarrelling a lot, I think he’s been spending recklessly for someone that is getting married soon and has a wedding to finance. Also he says I’m a feminist I say he is a chauvinist. You see being the only male child and last of six children, he’s been over indulged so much so that he doesn’t take saving seriously and also I think he was brought up in a “If not for you all daddy’s toils would have gone to daddy’s brothers” male children are king kinda environment. Marriage counselling has helped us put some things in perspective. However after our last fight, we sat and talked about stuff and I think we’v reached a middle ground sorta. I have also resolved within me not to nag him about money for the wedding after all it’s just one day (strike that two days). I have also resolved to stop being argumentative, I know I like arguing but he apparently doesn’t and cannot argue without getting angry.

We found a house yay! It’s very close to our offices YAY! YAY! Now I can look forward to a traffic free married life.

I hate cooking but these days I find myself excited about cooking for him, yesterday he said he was gonna come straight to my house from the airport I happily bounced to the kitchen to fix him dinner, I was even humming whilst cooking, weird!

Anytime I think of him, the wedding, I find myself smiling stupidly. I guess I’m over last minutes jitters.

I am back to work (BBM crying smileys here) and back to the gym, speaking of which; I ate and drank like a glutton these two weeks and the scale did not budge. O well, that wasn’t a complaint.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Count down: 3 months; 1 week.

A lot has happened since I blogged last. The fiancé has resumed at his new place of work and it has been weird not seeing him at his seat. But I still see him almost every mornings anyways.

Before we started counseling, I thought it would be all about “don’t have sex before marriage”, “be submissive”. “be loving” etc. Thankfully and surprisingly, it has been so deep, practical and useful. We have talked about having a healthy self-image and how a poor self-image affects marriage. We’v talked about stuff that can lead to conflict in marriage and how to handle them. Last week we started our classes on communication, ironically we had a big fight the Friday before and after the class we could see how communication would have helped avoid it. It is really going on well.

The weight loss is also going very well, it has been 12 weeks of going to the gym at least 4 times a week (most times 5 days) and it is paying off big time. When I get my dress (which should get to the store in the US on the 15th of next month yay!). I shall be ready.

My dad is one of a kind (I swear). Have you heard of anybody who’s two parents live in Lagos, travel to the village for introduction so that the kinsmen can be part of it. I said introduction o! not traditional wedding. the man exasperate me. But mumc keeps reminding me that I’m his only daughter so I should indulge him. It would be easier if he was more reasonable but then it is daddy, no surprises. Anyways we have to go to the village in about two weeks

I went for my wedding makeup trial (thank God I did). Cuz I got constructive feedback from a couple of friends and now we know just what work.

I’m sorting out my bridesmaids this week and also placing order for asoebi this weekend. We’v ordered our wedding invitations from the States.

After which I would have music band, MC, wedding bands, clothes& shoes& accessories for bride and groom (traditional wedding), wedding programme outstanding. The fiancé has not ordered or even decided where to order his tuxedo from or what to do about his grooms men. O well, that is not on my workplan so…

Its 3 months, one week to go.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Absu Rape walk + Bridemaid palaver + more testimonies

I participated in the ABSU rape walk yesterday in Lagos. The turnout was impressive, a good number of guys turned up too. Reporters from the BBC and other media were on ground and the Police and Lastma were behind us as well. We walked from NTA on Ahmadu Bello to Abia State Liaison office on Ahmadu Bello as well, but we walked through the streets In between. All in all, the walk took an hour and half. We carried placards, sang, distributed tracts, etc.

The shocker however, was that most of the men we gave the tracts to, said and I quote “tell women not to dress enticingly so as not to attract rape to themselves”. This was the consensus from mallam hawking on the streets / gatemen to educated, enlightened people in cars. Na wa! We have a lot to do in educating ourselves and our children especially our sons. Even if a woman is naked, look the other way, how does that mean she is asking to be raped? SMH. NO means NO.

See me see bridesmaid palaver! I have three best-friends from three phases of my life; childhood, church and university. I asked the three of them to be on my bridal train plus two others friends. I wanted the University bestie to be the Maid of Honor (MOH), apart from the fact that she is my most recent bestie, she is also in the UK and she can buy her dress there and it would be ok for her to have a different dress since she is the MOH.

My childhood bestie lives in Zaria, our communication is majorly telephone and email based as we probably see once in two years and she is getting married a month before me so no issues on why she isn’t MOH and stuff.

My bestie from church however lives here in Lagos and she is the one that has been helping me with some running around and stuff here. However, she automatically assumed she would be MOH and I couldn’t say she wasn’t, so I became stuck with two MOH.

I am fine with having two MOH, however, University bestie found out that I had two MOHs and is mad and doesn’t want to be on the train anymore. Things have been strained between us ever since.

October has started on a good note for me. I was promoted two steps at the office. Praise the Lord!!!!!
P.S I am still looking to change jobs though.
P.P.S i tried uploading pictures from the walk, but i cant, either the pictures are large or my connection is slow.

Friday, September 30, 2011

4 months to go

Happy new month.

4 months to go.
preparations are not were I thought they would be now
but I'm still grateful

September was an awesome and testimony filled month for me.

My fiance got a job - we were beginning to consider postponing the wedding, because we did not want to get married whilst working for the same firm. Even though our boss has offered to amend the office policy because he doesn't want to lose any of us, we felt we should diversify our financial risk before marrying. Anyways, when all our parents, uncles, aunties and all our contact failed, God turned up. He did that which only him can do and which only him can take the glory for.

My private client(what we call personal practice "PP") also came through. This is the biggest PP job i have done till date. The deal was signed in January and i'v been waiting on mobilization since April. i guess it couldn't have come in a more perfect time. I am liquid! YAY

This month of October, hopefully, i should accelerate my planning. We found another hall we liked, it was absolutely beautiful, needed little or no decoration, came with a lot of perks, however someone beat us to it. Apparently, valentine weekend is HOT in demand for wedding. We have decided to settle for this, because it is the other perfect place we have found. This means food and drinks have also been taken care of.

We have also started marriage counseling in the church.

Next up on my list is sorting my bridesmaids out, purchasing our rings, ordering our wedding IVs and Programme.

Here to a testimony filled October

Happy independence celebration

Friday, September 2, 2011

Reception Venue

So last weekend, we went to check out a potential reception venue and we both loved it.

The hall was big with space that gives plenty options for decoration. Also the ambiance was cool, lots of greens, you know garden type stuff, enough spots to take really cool pictures, neat environment, enough parking space. Also because it is a sports recreational club located in an estate, we can rule out people just strolling past and looking for food to eat. The price for the hall was exactly our budget, infact it is cheaper for members of the club and some of my dad's friends are members so we could save about 100k by booking through them. The fiance and i were really excited.

Until we were told we need to patronize them for food and drinks. I haven't gotten a caterer yet, if the food would be good why not? why worry about cooling vans for the drinks, etc. if they can worry about it. and of course they said we could bring in our shayo (alcohol). So we are good yea?

Up until i saw the price list. we'll be paying restaurant price for the food and drinks. and saving nothing for cooking in bulk? i mean 500 people! (we are planning to invite 250 - 300 people and prepare for 500).

When she (the liaison person) sensed my loss of interest, she said she can offer some discounts here and there! she is to bring the revised invoice to my office on Tuesday but i think i better spend this weekend scouting for options.

Happy September! Congrats to Sirius on the birth of her bouncing baby.

P.s i have been having funny recurrent dreams were my bridemaid (a different one each time) refuses to wear their dress on my wedding day! very WEIRD

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Why did we struggle to grow up???

Life is one twisted irony!

When we were in secondary school, we all longed to get into university, freedom! School without uniform, campus life, less parental controls, etc.

Then we got to university and became fed up with endless lectures, project work, assignments, etc. The working class strata became more attractive, Imagine working hard and being paid at the end of the month as opposed to an A grade in our report cards. We imagine being able to spend money on some luxuries we craved but couldn’t dare to mention to our parents.

Then we graduate with good grades and get the dream job and realize that waking up at 5am to spend endless hours in traffic, to sit in front of the computer crunching numbers isn’t exactly fun. We find out soon enough that the take home doesn’t really take us home. Being among the working class population is not as exciting as we imagined it would be.

Then we begin to seek out the next new excitement. What next? Marriage of course. We begin to fantasize about finding “the one”. It would be nice to have someone to be there for us permanently, no worries about if we are wanted for just for sex, or for money, or for looks. This right here is for keeps, forever! Only to find out that living happily ever after is just a fantasy and idols have clay feet.

Then we graduate to giving birth to children only to realize that babies are super cute when they can be returned, not when you are stuck with them 24:7.

Then we wake up one day with 10 teeth, needing the support of a walking stick to move around and we wondered why we grew up, because growing up is indeed a TRAP.

My point???make the most of the phase of life you are right now, cause there is no turning back the hands of the clock.

P.S i'm cranky, anxious, on edge, and uneasy. I need a vacation!!!!!

I am trying to inhale, exhale...breathe

Monday, August 15, 2011

Thankful Monday

SO I did not get the job I mentioned in my former post and I have been feeling sorry for myself, but there is still a lot to be thankful for so I have to snap out of it sharply and offer my sacrifice of praise. Here goes my top 5:
1. God - My father, my friend. There are times I feel so loved by him, and other times when I feel abandoned by him. But I have come to realize that he always comes through for me and I’m really grateful that I have my prayer book to remind me of his mercies over the years and to power up my faith.
2. Life – Headcount, everyone complete. 7 months of 2011 is behind us, and I have not lost any family member or anyone I love. I can’t take this for granted
3. Love – My fiancé: my lover, my friend. Every day I thank God for taking my all heart desires including the ones I couldn’t dare to hope for and breathing life into it. Now I can read God’s definition of love (as found in 1st Corinthians 13) with a smile. I have indeed found “the one”.
4. Family – I was listening to Chaz B’s sharing life issues sometime last week and the conclusion was that most families are dysfunctional. My family are not rich, just lower average, but they are united, full of life, supportive, loving, caring, and most importantly saved.
5. Laughter - Haven experienced emotional and financial discouragement, disappointment and depression at some point in my life, laughter is indeed a pleasure, a luxury to be thankful for.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Count down - 6 months!

If it pleases the Lord, six months down the line today, I shall be getting married traditionally. I am excited and scared at the same time.

Before i got engaged, all I saw was wedding pictures, happy couples, etc but since I copped the ring, friends and peeps generally have been coming clean and open; hammering how marriage is not a bed of roses, how it is hard work, how 80% of expectations would not be met, how it is stifling, how it is choking, etc. It is so scary I just want to run away. The fiancé and I have been talking about it a lot these days, the poor guy probably think I’m getting cold feet from the way I’v been bringing all these up, he even asked if I wanted to move the dates up, LOL. No cold feet here honestly, I guess one is always apprehensive about the unknown but truth is there is no one I’d rather be embarking on this journey with, because he is truly amazing and I know he’ll make a good husband and a good father and most importantly we have God as our foundation.

So six months to go, I’m really reluctant to delve fully into planning, because I need to get another job ASAP, we both work together and even though my MD has told me three times, that he wouldn’t want to lose any of us and he’ll find a way to work around it, I really don’t want to get married here. It is too much of a risk financially for both husband and wife to earn a living from the same place. I attended a couple of interviews in July, had the final stage of one last week, so your prayers are solicited o! this is topmost in my request sheet to God.

Anyways, my dress has been sorted out, I’ll get it in November or early December, then I’ll worry about accessories and the like then. I shall register us for counseling this month and we can start in September. Wedding venue has been picked but not paid for yet. I’ll try the caterer for the introduction first, if we are impressed then she’ll do the wedding, the fiance doesn’t want the regular jollof rice, moin-moin and chicken, he wants a really rich menu with different kind of sauces and the like. I’m open to recommendations for vendors especially for everything from MC, band, decorator, drinks, food, everything.

On the weight loss bit, the instructor at the gym asked that i reduce my activity from 5 times a week to 4 times, i agreed (after this month hehehe)

The colors for the white wedding! Peaches and ivory (cream) (was chosen by the fiance o) how does that sound???

For the traditional i want yellow, what does yellow go with apart from brown????

Happy new month! May our dreams come true in August.

Friday, July 29, 2011

4kG lighter + randoms

Goal achieved for week two as well. So between last Monday when this weight loss journey started and today, I have averaged 15 hours of work out. Nothing like the white ivory dress to keep a girl motivated!

On Wednesday 5 people at work asked if I was losing weight YAY!!!!!!. Weighed myself this morning and I am down to 69KG double YAY!!!!!!!!!! 4KG gone, isn’t God amazing????Now I have just 6KG to lose, then I’ll slow down to maintenance mode!

Thanks for all your comments on my last posts, for people that urged me to eat right! I always try to o! but between my desk job and my car, it is really easy to pile on weight.

SO we’v finally narrowed down to 2 weekends in Feb for the wedding! Triple Yay!!! LOL. So basically I have 6 months to plan which is good news. Next item on my workplan Wedding colors and wedding counseling and introduction in that order.

Happy weekend and happy August!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Goal achieved for week one

SO I registered and resumed at the gym on Monday.
Was able to meet my goal of 90 mins mon - fri (5 times a week)
Goal met for week one
I really hope I can sustain the momentum
Need to lose 10kg
I ordered my dress in size 12 and that sucked big time
Hopefully when it comes, it comes it would need pleeeeeeeeeeeeeenty alterations cuz I would be a size 8
Thank God it’s Friday.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

wedding dress - update

So I went to consult Nigerian designer I mentioned in my earlier and guess how much my bill was N350,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. (not that the style was anything complicated o! apparently anything that has lace starts from 300k) That was way above my budget and my budget is pretty healthy. I guess that’s typical of us Nigerians, to carve a niche for yourself, you have to be expensive, plus business is good, she had many brides-to-be waiting for consultation as well.
Anyways, I checked some stores and some naija bridal store here and concluded that most of the dresses here are china (inferior made). I am still cringing from some of the “lace” in some of the dresses I saw.

After endless souring online I finally found the dress, It is a Maggie Sottero dress. It is simple, elegant, mermaid style, with lace and Swarovski crystals, it has a long train and comes with inner corset. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though it was a teeny weeny bit over my budget plus the fact that I changed dollars for N165 did not help. Bottomline, I have ordered the dress in Ivory and I’ll get it early November. I know someone is thinking to herself all wedding dresses are made in China, yes I know!!! Afterall even Vera Wang does not stay up stitching dresses herself, but I guess Quality Control and Assurance goes a long way.

With my dress sorted, I can face my bridesmaid dresses in August. I have decided not to be involved in tailor matter, or style matter, for obvious reasons, I have been bridesmaid thrice and I hated the style the bride chose for us, I hated the tailor’s handiwork too (terrible finishing). Therefore, we’ll collectively buy the fabric for all bridesmaid so that the fabric would be uniform, then each individual can pick out a style (show me first of course just for my information!) and a tailor and make her dress. Only the Chief Bridesmaid wears a long dress though.
I have also started making a list of vendors, though I have contacted no one yet.

I went to a wedding recently, the couple (bride and groom) were Delta igbo, but the band kept playing Yoruba songs!!!!! I guess these are the softer stuff I should be taking note of.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Finding love in the least likely place (Part Two)

Can’t say it was love at first sight because we have been working at the same organization for over a year without saying much to each other. I remember thinking to myself once that this new guy has nice shirts and dresses well. I also remember thinking to myself this guy is arrogant and unfriendly.

At some point, we started talking especially when he moved to my hood, he tried hooking me up with his best friend as well. When a bike man ran into my car and took out my doors, I and my brother hitched with him for about 2 weeks to VI.

Anyways, I was ill and din’t come to work for about a week, he called me to say he hasn’t seen me at work, after asking about my health, he went to real reason why he noticed I wasn’t at work (although he won’t admit this!!!), his friend was celebrating his birthday in the hood and I guess they were looking to invite as many babes as possible, so he said I should drop by if I felt better that day.

On the Saturday of the party, I was feeling much better and tired of staying in bed, so I dressed up, went for the party, planning to stay one hour max!, got there he mixed a cocktail for me, and somehow we started talking, he told me about business school, about his career aspirations, his 5-year goal, a lot of serious stuff and I sat there so fascinated, I was really tripped and thinking to myself, wow! He has it all figured out, what a focused guy, what an intelligent guy. We talked for ages, sipping on cocktail, later I found out that other folks at the party thought we were dating or had a thing going but it was a very platonic, sensible conversation majorly (till today, he says, for once in his life he actually had no ulterior motive). Anyways, time to go and he held my hands , looked into my eyes and said don’t go yet babe, the party has barely started. That’s when I felt the chemistry, I scampered home fast. Before is slept, I replayed the whole day in my head, wondered if it was the alcohol that got things twisted in my head, if he acted weirdly, if I acted wierdly, if I gave wrong vibes, if he had a girlfriend, etc , I shrugged it off and slept.

By Monday, the next week, I had almost forgotten the weekend, he started giving me really weird vibes, e.g. a very cute smile when he passes my desk, buying me breakfast or lunch everyday, from there we graduated to chatting on gtalk occasionally, then to texting back and forth and stuff like that. Invited him to mid week service, when we were chatting one day and it was time for me to go to church (he started coming with me religiously), then I invited him to a musical concert at church on a Saturday and he came, the next day Sunday, he came to church without invitation, I just saw him during offering and my heart skipped a beat, that’s when I knew I was in trouble.

Anyways, after about a month or less of all that, we went on our first real date to a very nice lounge on a real date, he told me about his family and their various antics which was really fascinating because my family is relatively small, normal and boring, just us three kids and the parents, he told me about his sisters, their kids, but what distinguished the date, was the way he looked at me, I could hear the sincerity in his voice, also he asked about my education, no guy has ever asked if I wanted to do a masters or what my career aspirations are, the date was really really deep for a first date.

Within the next month, I mentioned I was stressed out, wanted a vacation, (I had used all my previous vacation for my professional exams, this was my first vacation after qualifying professionally) but dint want to take time off and just be at home to be doing house work for my parents, so he invited me to his sister’s house in Port Harcourt, had no intention of going so I said I would think about it, my plan was to just post him endlessly, but somewhere along the line, I decided to go, so off we went to shell camp, port Harcourt for a week, his sister and her family were so nice and welcoming, I got to know him a lot better within that week, I got to see that family was important to him, I saw how great he was with his nephews, we shared with each other deep secrets, I spoke with his mum on the phone that week and he told me he loved me that week, I started falling in love with him that week. When the week was over I was sad to go back to Lagos, sad to go back to work.

We got back to the office, thought it would be weird but it wasn’t. It was like we were in a world of our won really, we saw each other everyday at work, and every weekend. Anyways, the next month, his friend was getting married in Abuja, so I went with him, met his other sister and her family in Abuja. Within the next five months I met his sister who lived in Lagos but was on vacation somewhere in Europe, then met his mum when she came back from the states, then he met my mum, and life went on till the proposal on my birthday.

Dating my colleague turned out to be not hard and awkward as I thought It would be, even though everybody at the office knew, cuz you can’t really hide love especially when it is mixed with romance and passion, it had it perks, seeing him everyday, having him smile at me everyday, being able to discuss work and work related activities everyday, the random breakfast, or lunch, or chocolates, or cake or muffins he treats me to. Infact changing jobs, which we are working on would get some getting used to.

Of course, we have our misunderstandings, quarrels, and down times but I have no shadow of doubt that I am marrying the man God designed for me, specially and custom made. I am glad and grateful, I was able to redeem the pledge which I made in church barely a year ago when I sowed that covenant seed. I am at a point where i can say i am very happy, my soul is happy, my skin is glowing (LOL). I guess all is well that ends well.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Finding love in the least likely place

As most of y’all know, I dated my ex for 6 years, he was my first boyfriend and we started dating in year two. He was tall, sweet, kind, selfless and things were almost perfect up till the point he was suspended from school for a session, which meant he had to graduate a year after me, he was so depressed and discouraged, I did my best to encourage him, endlessly scoured the bible for encouraging scriptures, etc. I remember telling him to see the situation like someone that came to school to study a five year course as opposed to a four year course

Unfortunately, the one extra year, led to another extra year, and another extra year, I began to resent the whole process, it was ridiculous to me, because, by that time I had finished nysc, had a decent job, became independent of my parents and he was still battling with school issues, I resented the fact that he was having carry overs upon carry overs, like really how hard was it to read?i resented the fact that i had to lie to my family, because my mom kept asking how he was! where he served? where he was working now? and i couldn't exactly say Hey mummy, he is still in school, three years after i had graduated.

However, I kept praying and fasting for him, for the nightmare to be over, 80% of the prayer request in my prayer book from 2006 - 2009 was about him and his situation.

Of course, we started quarreling about money, my office was close to the bank where my salary account was domiciled, so I gave him my ATM card and used my cheque book when I needed to, I cleared my account to contribute to his school fees once because his folks got tired of the endless regular school and summer school programmes, still i was too proud, not humble, not sensitive enough in his onw words about his situation. I wasn’t perfect cause looking back, I should have known that he was feeling emasculated and could have been more sensitive, but the whole situation was troubling and I wondered if i should break up with him

Anyways, things were not good, but not too bad until the physical abuse started, first was a slap, which I forgave cuz, my friends said I shouldn’t have said “if you were man enough” to a man that had self-esteem issues.

Then came the beating a year after which I forgave too, after much deliberation and tabling the matter on this blog i took a break from the relationship but maybe out of fear of the unknown or the fear of forfeiting all I had invested into the relationship (time, money, emotions, etc)i forgave him and took him back and we celebrated our fifth year together .

But a year after, a third beating after, one of the worse and most traumatic event of my life a year which he locked me in the house and acted like a mad man, said all sorts, I needed no shrink or counsellor to tell me it was time to flee for my dear life.

By then my perfect on paper guy had moved on. It was really tough period, lost about 9kg, cried a lot, pondered a lot, prayed a lot, went through bouts of sadness, i felt so so disappointed, i learnt my heart could literally

However i healed, sowed a covenant seed in church and proceeded to have fun, hung out with guys, went on dinner dates, went on drink dates, mostly with ND until I met my prince charming in the most unlikely place. THE OFFICE.

I have always hated office romance and could never imagine dating my fellow colleague. Details on how my heart won my head up in the next post. This is already very long as it is.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Dress

Many girls dream about their wedding day before they are old enough to date, fortunately or unfortunately, I am not one of those girls. I have no wedding day envisioned in my mind, so people say “hope you get the wedding of your dreams”, I wonder if it is odd to reply “I actually have no dreams”. LOL.

The only thing I am sure about is that I don’t want a white wedding dress, maybe diamond white, but preferably ivory.

After copping the ring, I worked on the budget and the workplan which scheduled activities to start in August, and was prepared to just sit back and wait till august, however, my friends have been drumming continuously that I cannot plan a wedding in five months that I need to start NOW. No be money them dey use start planning?

Anyways, over the weekend, my friend that got engaged about the same time buzzed me to say she had ordered her wedding dress and I’m thinking to myself already??then she says it would take 5-6 months to be ready. Apparently that is the lifespan of ordering a decent dress, that chilled me out o! it means August would be cutting it close for “the dress”. Anyways she gave me a list of designers to check out Maggie Sottero, Oleg Cassinni, Anfred Angelo and a host of others.

I heard the UK is a very expensive place to get a dress and the US is better, however, me I no get power for US embassy stress, this means ordering online and fitting in Nigeria, which is beginning to seem like a long thing.

So another friend gave me the name and number of a Nigerian designer called Valerie Davids who schooled under Yemi Kosibah and I have an appointment to see her sometime next week, to see what she has done in the past, timelines, and pricing. I’m supposed to go with pictures so I guess its time to start checking out wedding dresses YAY!!!!

Any ideas of any good designer here or abroad or any tips/ hints/ etc to share?

I guess I also have to inform the bridesmaid officially because the two I have told unofficially are itching to pick their dress as well.

Happy new month by the way. The fiancé was promoted today, so I guess it’s going to be a great month.

Monday, May 9, 2011

First Hurdle Crossed

Spoke with my father on Saturday. Apologized first before stating my point and I guess it was a typical “daddy afraid to lose daughter reaction”. Cuz he had met my boo on numerous occasions, infact after I went to meet his mum when she got back from the US, he came to meet my parents, though it was nothing formal.

Anyways, the conversation was weird. He asked me where we met and how we started dating, his strengths, his weaknesses, at least two quarrels we have had in he past and how we settled, his family, his relationship with his family, his educational and professional qualifications, how he got born again, his church, his ministry, his baptism, etc. This whole talk took more than two hours.
My dad told me that from the little interactions they have had, that he really likes him and he sounded really intelligent (cuz they were able to talk on numerous topics) compared to my ex (insert embarrassed smiley here) and he is happy cuz I’m intelligent and he knows I need a man equally or more intelligent so I can have a balanced marriage. He then prayed for me. I cried a bit. LOL

So he said the boyfriend can come anytime, so he is coming next weekend. I’m really relieved and thankful to my mom for the part she played in all of this.

Anyways, the day after my birthday / the proposal. The boyfriend’s family called me one after the other to wish me happy birthday and also to say congrats on the engagement. His mum said “my daughter, welcome to the family”. LOL. Its weird cuz I always wanted a sister (being the only daughter of my parents). Now I am inheriting 5 sisters (cuz he is the only son of his parents).

So my friend sent me her wedding excel sheet with the budget and detailed tasks( I want to be really organized plus i'm an accountant so…). Total amount was 5.5 million. And I was at the wedding it was very nice and classy but nothing out of this world. Chilled me out o!. I really don’t want the wedding to cost so much was thinking more of 3-3.5 million max (kitchen and upgrading bachelor's pad to habitable home plus honey moon inclusive). Anyways let us see how it goes.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Birthday with Diamonds

So i turned 25 yesterday

Birthday celebrations started on Friday night, when i went clubbing with my girls. It was a night filled with dancing, catching up and champagne. I ended up not spending a dime thanks to all the men we met and left in the club.

Luckily the my birthday was on a holiday because of the workers day. Decided to cook fried rice with prawns and turkey for my family. Spent the day receiving phone calls, BBMs and facebook notification. The boyfriend was working during the day, although he dropped by briefly to drop my birthday cake and cards.

We were billed to have dinner at southern sun @ Ikoyi, however, work took up most of his time and by the time he finally came at 9ish i wasn’t up for food or the outing. I was in a low-key mode cuz of the waiting and also the mechanic had ruined my car and it wasn’t coming on. So i asked that dinner be moved to today (after work). He agrees and said to drop him off at the hotel were they were working (he still had to work all night), so i could keep his car (since mine wasn’t coming on and i needed to get to work the next day).

At the hotel room he brings out this cute white box, opens it to reveal the most beautiful ring i have seen in my entire life, went on one knee and asked me to marry him. I can’t remember the exact words cause i was sorta overwhelmed (LOL). I said yes, so i’m engaged. The ring is really pretty and it came with certificates for the diamond and bla blab la. Tried uploading a picture, but i need to resize. Il upload later.

Got home and showed my parents, my mom was very happy, my dad sorta dampened my excitement by saying “how can you accept a ring when you haven’t discussed with your dad? Is that the way i brought you up? And bla bla, infact him and mumc almost started quarrelling. Anyways my dad is no stranger to controversies. Anything that is not his idea or his initiative shall always be met with resistance.

Anyways i guess the blog would now be about engagement / wedding stories.

Last year i had my worst birthday ever and this year i had my best ever.

Friday, January 21, 2011

tagged - a lil late but HEY

So i was tagged by H and P.E.T Projects and Blessing and Him and Her and naijalines and @ilola

The rules are as follows:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post. (Thanks Guys)
2. Tell us 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know that they have won.

So here goes nothing really:

I have the worst sense of direction ever! I can go to a place ten times and still ask for direction. Infact when I still stayed on the mainland, they removed that celtel billboard you can see on third mainland and I wondered if I was truly on third mainland or lost as usual. LOL

I believe love is life

I hate seeing things in their multiples…it gives me GOOSEBUMPS

I love that my boyfriend writes me poetry

I believe the longer the relationship the less likely it is to lead to marriage

I have the worst menstrual pain ever known to mankind and yet to be unraveled by doctors

I believe that God answereth by fire

I am sure everyone has done this so....

Saturday, January 8, 2011

2011 ...renewed hope

2010 promised so much and delivered so not as much.

I wept emotionally and financially
Discouragement, disappointment and depression were my companions

There were days i had no cash...literally in my purse or in the bank
Salaries were delayed and not even paid out-rightly for three months stretch
my younger brother couldn't return to money to pay his fees
I was called from the office one day that my dad was found unconscious at home
my 6 year relationship crumbled

Misfortunes came in triples

it poured

all gloom..all doom

But i trusted God
I remembered everything he has done for me in the past
I called upon him
and he answered
He showed me great and mighty things i couldn't dare dream of
He showed me i wasn't alone
He gave me triple for my troubles
laughter for every tear

I couldn't ask for a more perfect end to the year
Indeed God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow

This year, i am hoping to be more true to him
Pay my tithe regularly
Have my devotional everyday
go to church and mid week service regularly, etc

If you are going through a hard time at the moment
just hang in there
God is able
and shall give you joy for your mourning
Just the way morning comes after night without fail

Happy 2011
Keep the faith