Monday, November 28, 2011

two weeks vacation

I rested but not so much. It was my fiancé’s dad’s tenth year remembrance ceremony so we went to Benin for that. It was kind of nice to meet the extended family.

After that we went my home town for our introduction, the weird part was I felt like a spectator like the gathering wasn’t for me or for us, like I was sitting in somebody’s introduction.

When my parents were making the list from our immediate family they said there is an allocation for me to say what I want the groom to buy for me and I said nightgown, my dad was like seriously and with a straight face I said yup! Seriously. My mom requested for 10k, my dad requested for a fabric. All in all the list is very very reasonable, mostly drinks, kolanuts, 20 tubers of yam, N200 brideprice, etc. infact I’v been teasing him that they are dashing him wife.

My parents said that customary they are to buy me pots, plates, cutleries, wrappers, 3 boxes and a gift of my choosing to take to my husband’s house. I have begged that the wrapper matter should be left out, I don’t want them to waste their money and I have no intention of tying wrappers anytime soon. For the gift I chose a deep freezer.

Its two months and a week and 5 days to go and I’m kinda ahead of my workplan which is good. I have even distributed asoebi (although I am beginning to wish I did not bother with this).

We(I and the fiancé) have been quarrelling a lot, I think he’s been spending recklessly for someone that is getting married soon and has a wedding to finance. Also he says I’m a feminist I say he is a chauvinist. You see being the only male child and last of six children, he’s been over indulged so much so that he doesn’t take saving seriously and also I think he was brought up in a “If not for you all daddy’s toils would have gone to daddy’s brothers” male children are king kinda environment. Marriage counselling has helped us put some things in perspective. However after our last fight, we sat and talked about stuff and I think we’v reached a middle ground sorta. I have also resolved within me not to nag him about money for the wedding after all it’s just one day (strike that two days). I have also resolved to stop being argumentative, I know I like arguing but he apparently doesn’t and cannot argue without getting angry.

We found a house yay! It’s very close to our offices YAY! YAY! Now I can look forward to a traffic free married life.

I hate cooking but these days I find myself excited about cooking for him, yesterday he said he was gonna come straight to my house from the airport I happily bounced to the kitchen to fix him dinner, I was even humming whilst cooking, weird!

Anytime I think of him, the wedding, I find myself smiling stupidly. I guess I’m over last minutes jitters.

I am back to work (BBM crying smileys here) and back to the gym, speaking of which; I ate and drank like a glutton these two weeks and the scale did not budge. O well, that wasn’t a complaint.


Highly Favored said...

Sounds exciting!

Nma said...

Every girl deserves a guy that makes her hum in the kitchen LOL

Nutty J. said...

ha... i hear the excitment in ur post ooo. Congrats babes...every girl deserves to be happy

Myne Whitman said...

I'm smiling with you. Communication is key, and putting your expectations under the microscope. Knowing yourself and each others is very important too, cos that determines how you work together. I'm praying for you guys, all the best.

Okeoghene said...

Congratulations. It is good that you are ahead in your preparations and also communicating. I pray for a beautiful ceremony for you guys.

Luciano said...

so happy for you. congratulations

QMoney said...

hi darling,i can tell you for free you need the wrappers to back baby when he/she arrives..i was like you too and had to beg my mum to send me are certainly not goin to be tying any wrappers..the pots et al come in mega handy
your been ahead of your workplan is great cos some last minute things will still come up anyway.

The quarrels are normal too,have u asked him for money and he didn't give you?if that hasn't happened then no give urself wahala....and then instead of complaining about his spendings,say things like maybe we(notice i said we) should buy a land oh...if has has a land already,maybe we should do foundation,maybe we should put gate..u offering the constructive things to do with cash instead of telling him he's reckless with hubby doesnt have a saving culture i have him do meaningful things with the cash

yup,i like arguing too but with time,u'll learn to pick ur arguments and not jus get agitated over these men and their issues,my husband's suit didn't come in till a day before the wedding*rolling my eyes very fast*,who plans like that??mschieeew

i see u are goin to have a fantastic day really and even a more fantastic married life darling...takia babes

aloted said...

good to hear the intro went well.

yes o communication is key...

and learning to pick your battles..

I believe you are on the right path.

Qmoney gave solid advice re helping him channel the money into project.

all d best girl.

you can also follow the "Marriage as God intended" series in the soulsistas blog...ta ta!

RQ said...

the most sincere post i have read in a very long while...leaves a warm feeling to share the experience with you. :) @ 'male children are king'...i don't sense a tinge of jealousy? No? :)

Tega said...

Sounds uber exciting

Co-sign QMOney's advice...take it from a married woman huhn

All the best with the rest of everything...x

Blessing said...

Aww, cute!

Glad that you had a good vacay!

Nonye said...

awwwwwwww cute!! I'm sooooo happy for u! the fights are normal for pple planning a wedding....congrats again!

Laurenta said...

havent been here in a bit
You sound so happy,
Im really glad for you.
quarrels will come, its moving past them and communicating that make the working marriage.
youd be fine

Toinlicious said...

And even more good news, i love ur blog.
N200 bride price? Nicee
I'm now learning to pick my fights cos the stress isn't worth it.

Congrats again and all the best with everything

Jemima said...

Congratulations, marriage is like a building,the foundation is the most important, and you can always adjust the 'building' the way you like as you go on..please pray together always, it keeps resentment from growing..i wish you guys much happiness .. blessings!

Parakeet said...

Hey congrats on ur intro and glad it went well...

Fluffycutething said...

I'm just happy you are happy :D

Anonymous said...

congrats in advance

Everything sounds super exciting... and your asking for a nightgown was so funny... I love my lingeries too...

Do stop fighting a lot, you guys will be fine and its just two days like you wisely pointed out!

Congrats in advance again!

fantasy queen said...

lol at asking for a nightgown... wonder what i'd have said.

above all, you're happy and that's what matters.


'Lara said...

I love the excitement in this post. The Good God shall make your home an happy one with laughter and joy always.

Lol @ asking for nightgown, my mum will just dash me slap.

Mbabazi said...

congratulations again. somehow reading about your preparations makes me worry less about mine. i get married in six months and havent done a thing!