Monday, August 24, 2009

How important is luv?

in a marriage that is...

The bitter sweet emotion of loving someone and having that person luv you back is an emotion everybody should experience at least once in a lifetime..

I grew up reading all them romance book, believing in prince charming and happy ever after...
but these days, with the rate of divorce on the rise...i have to ask myself how important is luv...afterall these folks getting divorced didn't they luv each other at some point? when they said" I do" were they not in crazy luv?

So i have decided to re-define my "to look out for' in choosing a future is my top 8..

  • Top on the list is religion...i want someone that has the same beliefs and faith as i do..infact i want at least one of his parents to have these beliefs and values
  • Intelligence ..i want my children to be smart
  • Financial stability - You have to earn more than me...i'v been in the opposite band wagon...the insecurities...God! JUST believe me....this does matter
  • Romantic - them dinners, gifts, roses, chocolates, card...YES YES YES...bring them on
  • Predictable - Am so done with spontaneity
  • Organized- this is because i am highly disorganized
  • Manly - No mushy mushy guy pls...i can cry a bucket for both of us when necessary
  • Basket ball height < or = 6 feet - this used to be no 1..but now i guess it doesn't matter so much anymore...but please (God let him) be at least my height

Monday, August 10, 2009

where to draw the line

Growing up, my father made was very influential in a lot of decisions I made…like I wanted to go to arts class..he thought I was too bright to waste away like that so he instructed me to go to science class…now am working andfirm…writing my final diet of ICAN this year…
I was gonna move to a rented apartment cuz the commute from the mainland (ikeja) to the Island (VI) were I work was hellish my father raised the roof…no daughter of his was gonna live alone…what decent girl lives alone when he parents are alive and bla bla…so I decided to move in with my mum’s younger sis in Lekki phase one…my papa no gree…anyways I busted o!lived with the traffic and life moved on
After school, when job offers came to, my father steered me to making a decision on which to accept

And a lot of other decisions I can’t write about for lack of zeal and energy

Anyways this year I decided to buy a brand new car and my dad gave me HELL..literally…he was of the opinion that a 22 (was 22 then) years old, single girl had no business driving a brand new car, what will people say an so on…but I put my foot down…it was my own hard earned money no be say aristo wan buy am for me…so I went ahead and bought the car…the day the car landed my dad did not come down to see it…he just pretended like it did not exist…the succeeding month was hell so much
So that I was considering clearing my account to rent a flat…for I couldn’t do anything right in the sight of my father…and I knew everything was anger cuz of the car

Fast-forward six months to the present

My dad drives this car like its his own…sometimes without even telling me, he doesn’t hesitate to brag to his friends..“this is my daughter and this is her car”
And I wonder what If I dint go ahead..

This year also I changed my church from my parents Baptist church cuz I felt I wasn’t growing spiritually…hell was raised..but I put my foot down and I think am spiritually better for it today

So I attended a wedding last weekend…the bride and groom were my friend in school. They have been together for 6 over six years now…since year one in school..

They wanted to get married last year but the girl’s parents have always been opposed to the whole relationship and marriage cuz the bobo is muslim& from a polygamous home while she is Christian…she tried to persuade them and they no gree..she ran away from home to the guys house…anyways she got pregnant that is when they finally agreed to let her marry him…;last weekend @the wedding ceremony she looked so heavy like she’s gonna give birth soon.
And I know when we were in school she was saving herself for marriage (as in no sex policy) an now she had to be wadlng up and down on her own wedding day..

That said they say what a child sees standing up, the elders see sitting down (literally meaning elders..parents…are wiser), the bible also said “obey your mother and father that your days may be long on earth….”
I know they had a valid point..marriage is hard enough you might as well go in with as much leveled ground as possible..but are some mistakes not the individual’s own to make..the most painful mistake is the mistake somebody else coerced you into making…your own mistake you can still live with.