Monday, August 24, 2009

How important is luv?

in a marriage that is...

The bitter sweet emotion of loving someone and having that person luv you back is an emotion everybody should experience at least once in a lifetime..

I grew up reading all them romance book, believing in prince charming and happy ever after...
but these days, with the rate of divorce on the rise...i have to ask myself how important is luv...afterall these folks getting divorced didn't they luv each other at some point? when they said" I do" were they not in crazy luv?

So i have decided to re-define my "to look out for' in choosing a future partner..here is my top 8..

  • Top on the list is religion...i want someone that has the same beliefs and faith as i do..infact i want at least one of his parents to have these beliefs and values
  • Intelligence ..i want my children to be smart
  • Financial stability - You have to earn more than me...i'v been in the opposite band wagon...the insecurities...God! JUST believe me....this does matter
  • Romantic - them dinners, gifts, roses, chocolates, card...YES YES YES...bring them on
  • Predictable - Am so done with spontaneity
  • Organized- this is because i am highly disorganized
  • Manly - No mushy mushy guy pls...i can cry a bucket for both of us when necessary
  • Basket ball height < or = 6 feet - this used to be no 1..but now i guess it doesn't matter so much anymore...but please (God let him) be at least my height

40 comments:

aloted said...

first! i think i have a long comment so let me claim my spot first...lol

aloted said...

hmm good question...love is important but it takes more than love to sustain a marriage. I read somewhere that marriage is just like anything in life and it follows the law of disintegration which states that "everything, given enough time, breaks down, fractures, erodes, dissipates".

Meaning left on its own love can break down.So for this not to happen we need to work hard at "marriage maintenance"

Most people dont even know what love means and when push comes to shove their so called love fails..

And your list hmm...good list...but me thinks commitment is key esp when things go wrong or not how u expected.

Meanwhile are u still with ur boyfy?? This one u dey write new list?

~Sirius~ said...

LOVE is VERY important. I take your faith to be Christianity.

Not mushy feeling love, but real biblical love.

I used your list as a benchmark subconsiouly and sadly I would have given you ~The Mister~ because he fit so perfectly, except his mine! and I don't like roses and chocs, so he knows not to get those.

PS: Those books lied to us Big time!

aloted said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
aloted said...

yes was going to say but forgot...but Sirus has said it...those M&B books are lies from the pit of hell...lol..ok that sounds harsh but yah na all lies o, don't get it twisted.

doll said...

@ Aloted am still with him o! but...
thanks for giving me more insight

@ Sirius..aw...you took the Mr already???hand him over LOL..yes o! the books misled us

@ Aloted...iv gotten it untwisted...LOL

chayoma said...

Marriage = Commitment.
Love is never enuf to sustain a marriage in my books.
You have just gat to make it work somehow!
Nice priority list, by the way.
Women, it's not all about the looks oh!

chayoma said...

althou i dnt want my children to be butt ugly
:)

BSNC said...

lol basket ball height, i feel you on that..

those M&B books are just bunch of fantasy, but i enjoyed reading them..

rayo said...

love? no.
4 me.
gud sex
gud companion
gud father.

emphasis on 4 me oh.

rayo said...

oh plus d bball height. nd d smartness. but love, i don't know. i dont so so understand d concept anymo.

blogoratti said...

Basket ball height indeed :)
So no show for the (insert men's sport where players are short here)....

Fabulo-la said...

@Aloted, love can breakdown?
Soooo what then is the basis for marriage???

aloted said...

@Fabulo-la- I said...when left on its on, love can break down...meaning if u dont maintain it or work hard at it, it will deterioriate...I see love like a flower..if u dont water it..it will wither...

The basis of marriage certainly is love but most importanly commitment..

U catch my drift now?? :)

Nice Anon said...

Interesting list you have there. Good luck with it

leggy said...

na wa oh...everyone don dey in a very romantic mood lately.

miss.fab said...

Love is important o. Ha. I just pray that I'm blessed with the opportunity to meet someone who really really, like really really rocks my world like that, as cliched as that sounds.

rethots said...

Spot-on, not necessarily the content of the 'list' but, the fact that one has a 'list'.

Once upon a time......the myth was 'love' to marry now, a 'conscious' decision to marry.

We can choose to love anybody, moreover, marriage is not entirely about 'love' but, a conscious decision to 'walk' the rest of the journey with someone side-by-side. Hence, the neeed to 'invest' in the relationship. Love, grows by the day.

Afronuts said...

No matter how much u put on ur list just remember that there's no such thing as a perfect man. Perfect men most times happened to be people already worked on by their wives.

And as for the divorce thing - I'll just say there are too many selfish people going into marriage, thats one of the reasons why its on the increase.

~Sirius~ said...

Well said Rethots

Love is a decision- you can choose to love anybody

Lil Miss Thang said...

Marrying someone is committing to them with the love that says "i want to be a witness to your life" and for the two to remain united, love needs to be nurtured so that it can continue to grow.......
I pray the Lord has prepared my man and He is sending him to find me now

Tisha said...

i may sound silly saying this

yes all the stuff you mentioned
agreed
maybe its somewhat like a contract
but for me, love will seal the contract.
if there is no love i can't guarantee that i won't leave him when he annoys me.

i mean there are loads of things that could annoy that love and commitment will fix.

for me, its all or nothing becos if i marry a man i don't love, max three years and i will be outta there afterall they won't be able to say i was never married and then i can have my freedom as a single lady...

Its either i love or i don't...

long and short, i think love matters, i pray to God that love will come in the package you have asked for.

Buttercup said...

As much as we have to be very practical in order to make marriage last, I want that hot love that was there initially to always be there. God, that's not so much to ask, is it?

Myne Whitman said...

Many things are more important than love but then what is your definition?

doll said...

@ Buttercup.LOl. i guess its not too much to ask from God. am just at a point i want to look beyond love

teebay said...

Gosh its been ages... got so much catching up to do.

hmmm.. looks like a 'strictly ladies' thingy here o..

but love is overrated, have high taste but dont keepp ur hopes too high. i think il just go with afronuts here..

:)

Andrea said...

Love is not everything in a relationship but it is important.Your list is interesting.

Have you any wool said...

that list looks familiar. love is ultimately important but not the only thing anyway. yes, he should be handsome cuz we don't want ugly kids. he should be tall, cuz we won't want to be standing on our toes, the list goes on and on. and with time grows shorter and shorter

Have you any wool said...

that list looks familiar. love is ultimately important but not the only thing anyway. yes, he should be handsome cuz we don't want ugly kids. he should be tall, cuz we won't want to be standing on our toes, the list goes on and on. and with time grows shorter and shorter

sunnyside said...

to me love is really important and i would prefer a taller person or as u said at least my height. . nice blog nice list....

**OnYxStA** said...

Sirius is on to something

http://say-bleurgh.blogspot.com/

anonymous gal(retired blogger) said...

lol at the last one. Im with u on no3

simeone said...

just adding to what aloted said...love needs to have a good foundation..so that its easier to maintain...not judging anyone..but the girl from one of your previous post who got pregnant and married..that doesnt look like a good foundation..
a good foundation makes things easy..foor real..

Original Mgbeke said...

I trhink that love is very important but a marriage will not stand on love alone. Love is what keeps you wanting to take care of him even after the big fight last night 'cos ordinarily you'd be like screw you!
But like I said...a successful marriage needs more than love to work.

Buttercup said...

Just checking on ya!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

baby doll, how far now?

Nice Anon said...

Update da?

Vera Ikeji said...

I read a lot of Mills and Boons while growing up and I had my spec for men.
I became very picky in Men and always wanted them to have ALL the features of the guys I read about in books. Sometimes I met guys that had 8 out 10 of the qualities I wanted but I kept searching for the perfect guy.
I eventually met a guy who was 6 ft 5in tall, handsome, caring, loving, awesome in bed and everything I always wanted but guess what? I didn't like the way he looked when he smiled, I tot he looked toothless, lol. When he proposed to me, I turned him down and moved on. He was heartbroken, still is, but has moved on.
Finally I realised what I was doing and decided to settle for a good looking guy with a good heart that had the same similarities as me and guess what. I married a guy that had everything I ever wanted except the height, lol. I always ONLY dated tall guys but my husband is 2inches taller than me but I love him to bits! We are 2 crazy people in love with each other.

M & B guys are just fairy tale guys, they rarely exist.

ibiluv said...

i love the list..........

muyiwa said...

love is good when it doesnot result to lost