Sunday, November 30, 2008

She got pregnant


There is this Hausa/ Arab family that used to live about 2 doors away from mine in an uncompleted building. Their dad was the gate man of the building. The woman had about 8 daughters, 3 were married. Being in interested in women issues as I am I took interest in the remaining 4. The oldest Fatima was 13 and her parents were trying to force her to marry a man who had 2 wives (a guard also leaving in one room not too far from my house as well.

Anyways Mumc and I started talking to her mum and prevailed on her to let her daughters go to school, how it was too early for them to marry and etc.

To cut the long story short Fatima felt she was too old to go to school that she would rather learn a trade so voila she started learning how to sew at my Mumc’s school.

The other 4 girls Memunat 10, Miriam 9. Hauwa and her twin (Aisha) both 7 were quite enthusiastic about school. Unfortunately Aisha is crippled polio from birth so that was out of it). Their mum said she needed someone to help her with the household chores Memunat was elected for that so only Hauwa and Miriam could go to school.

Hauwa bless her soul has never disappointed me for one day. She comes to the house over the weekend shows me her school books, reads to me from the reader, brings her result home. She is a real sharp girl

The disappointment was Fatima. She would tell her mum that she is going to my mumc’s shop then go to man’s house. She would leave shop and say she is going home and go to man’s house. We never knew on and on like that until she got pregnant.

We got blamed. There is nothing her mum did not say. We should have let her marry her daughter off then…see now who is going to marry her.. she is now a laughing stock…the woman wept and wept. She took the girl for abortion sha. Now the others may have to stop school and get married. Its so sad and dissapointing

But I guess you can’t win them all

33 comments:

QMoney said...

me 1st!
na wah oh,God will see the good of ur heart jare abi

TinTin said...

mehn thats so sad...school was the only thing that could have saved those girls from a life of misery!!

true talk..u cant win them all!!

LG said...

God has already blessed u'

ShonaVixen said...

this is so so sad...and i agree with TinTin that school was the only way out...

archiwiz said...

That's very sad how Fatima acted, but very brave what you guys did for them. I really hope her parents don't take the other two girls out of school.

Abujamaiden said...

they aborted the child? eya! I hope they didn't damage the girl's system.

They'll always look for someone to blame unfortunately.

Iwalewa McDaniels said...

why shld u be blamed? Getting her married off does not mean that she would have been less promiscuous but the difference is that they would have someone to accept the pregnancy.

I hope they don't withdraw the other kids from sch sha.

Emeka Amakeze said...

You definitely win some and lose some. What happened is unfortunate but each time you remember that you guys made the move of making the girls go to school, you will always feel like winners.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

we all choose our own destinies
Fatima chose hers
but its unfortunate the effect it had on the other children

Buttercup said...

Wow that really sucks....its sad but ignorance played a huge role in this.

Temite said...

Well. We cannot win all of them. Fatima made the right choice for her own self. the sad part is the effect it will have on the other girls. But If they really want it, there is always a way. no be so?

bumight said...

really? in this day and age?

some people ruin it for others sha!

Uzezi said...

truth is, the trouble would have still happened whether you guys interfered or not. its sad it has to come to this.

Ms. emmotions said...

is sad but like u said we cant win all the time,

hello gal

Tigeress said...

Thats just a darn shame abou Fatima. but na wa for the girl- she's gansta- getting some at that young age. And its a bigger shame that becos of her mistakes- her sisters may suffer the conciquences.

Tisha said...

so sad
i am dissapointed
too bad
what can be done?

teebay said...

13yr old kid say i'm not ready for marriage, wat the heck does she knw... or

she wasnt ready to marry dat particular gate man, obviously there was another gate man smwhr wit better lines.

hey there r sm things u just cant control, u tried and dats all that shd matter

;-)

Mz. Dee said...

na wow..see opportunity for education dat dat girl just passed upon.. may God help us..

anonymous gal said...

wat a shame. im okay thanks 4 checkin up on me

Aphrodite said...

Fatima didnt show a good example at all.
Coming from the background she was, she should have had some more sense. Too bad on her younger ones.

Una try sha.

Doja said...

thanks

princesa said...

Oh so so sad.
So the man wey pregnant am go marry am now?

Afrobabe said...

We can only do so much love....

Lady Koko said...

THIS IS JUST TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOSSSSSSSSSH LIKE?????????? *sigh*
p.s;xoxoxoxo

OluwaDee said...

Guess you cant win them all.
But still you guys dont be weary of doing good.

Osondu Nnamdi Awaraka said...

It's not your fault...u really can't win them all.

Ms Sula said...

Stories like this break my heart. I don't even know where to start. I am just bleeding for all the women/child who will never have the chance to choose their own paths.

Truly heartbreaking.

Buttercup said...

hey babe..just checking!

Smaragd said...

First off, how'd exams go? i dont know u well, but i know that u did well.

secondly, u love One Tree Hill? and reading?welcome to my world! i'm now into nip/tuck, having seen all seasons of one tree hill except the one they are currently shooting...lol

it's a shame about Fatima, wish Hauwa could keep going to school though. u must be prroud of urself for one thing though dear, u tried! u made an attempt. one can only lead the horse to the stream, it cant be forced to drink water!

so why didnt u take the bank job?

Oyinkansola ...Honeydropz....... said...

na wa oh,
People are not grateful at all o

Therapy said...

Wow that is one sad story, for real. I don't even know what to say... I hope everyone involved is ok now. Shame on the man that got her pregnant.

Femi B said...

ok don't take my tone for being mad but as long as we people cannot imagine a "cripple" going to school, we can never move forward. Her legs might be cripple, but her brains are not. There might be other reasons why she might not go to school but definitely not because she is cripple or handicapped. Lets not be one track thinkers.

Maiya said...

OMG
I was doing some research on female genital mutilation and it is girls like Fatima that convince people that it's the way to go...Una try sha, Its not your fault she took it for granted.