Monday, February 9, 2009

Violent men

1. Have you ever been hit by your boyfriend / Husband? If yes were you able to work away or did you forgive him?

2. Would your answer be different if you felt he were genuinely sorry?


3. If you forgave the first time can you forgive a second time (say an interval of 1.5 years)?

39 comments:

bumight said...

IF YOU HIT ME, I'M WALKING!!!!! and if you're unfortunate to do it a second time...lets say it just wont happen again!

LG said...

its easier said than done
*omoge' hope u r doing ok

AlooFar said...

Girl talk. I'd rather wait to read the comments ;)

fluffycutething said...

Not sure i'd stay after a "brushing" oh!!!

Afrobabe said...

Depends on the kind of hitting we are talking about...if he really beat you up then walk away...if he slapped u naija style, make him sweat penty but give him anothe chance cos anger is a bitch...if he does it again...ever, even an interval of 5 yrs...walk away

miz-cynic said...

i won't stay afta a bhrushing...i'd be too angry to

Naijalines said...

Afrobabe has come again o. Which one is 'slapping naija style'? LOL.

How u, sweerie?

OluwaDee said...

I dont do violence.

But I'll let those who ahve experienced this shead more light.

Jayla said...

I'll probably cause some damage b4 i leave... Genuinely sorry or not, d devil dat pushed him the first time might keep pushing over & over again.

1.5 yrs interval will drop to 1yr, then 6 months, then 6 weeks till it becomes he's hobby.

QMoney said...

1)I have never been beaten by any man INCLUDING my daddy

1b)if d answer were yes,if it was a boyfriend,i wont walk away i will RUN away.if it's a husband,i will form plenty shakara,threaten to leave,maybe actually pack my things self but i will have to forgive him i guess

2)i hope to God if its a husband,he's genuinely sorry

3)Ah,if its a husband,time to go for anger management classes has come,a 2nd time??sumtin has to be done cos like jayla said,1.5years would one day reduce to 1.5days interval.
Lastly,i hope to God u arent talking about u.waiting for d update.

ShonaVixen said...

REAL MEN DON'T HIT WOMEN!!PERIOD!!!!
I grew up wiv 4 brothers, and never did they hit me, yeah pillow fights gone violent but never beating me, my father never...and so then some-one unrelated to me has the cheek to hit me!!I would walk but not without a slap back..lol...On the real though, I wouldn't stay slap or fists..M gone mate!!
PS: Did the Chris Brown thing bring this on??
Unfortunately I'm now off this dude, even though I never liked Rihanna, she didn't deserve that beat down!!!

ibiluv said...

two brothers........one father.....one grandfather
9 cousins and uncles

lived with them all age 0-16
never once did anyone of them hit any female member of the home-no matter how crazy we got-how mad we made them

never saw it happen
so its not something i can deal with

he hits me -i'll walk
ever if its a 50 year marriage

the Holy book says if u really need to chastise your wife-use the tip of your cloth(the one you are wearing) to hit her-that is really no reprimand-so even God says no hitting women

pink-satin said...

am with afrobabe on this....3 years ago i probably would have said i am walking away right off the bat..but then..if he slapped me once in anger and i mean he was really provoked...i will analyze the situation and think about it...
but if he like rushed me and seriously brushed me into a pulp them i am walking away! i mean its easy to hit a person in extreme anger and you realize it was wrong the second you did it...but continuous rushing with punched and kicks etc ah!then the guy is an animal

For the love of me said...

Afrobabe has said it. It depends on what hitting means. But if its a boyfriend, even if he raise im hand, I go run. Husband, one will have to see how sorry he is.

For the love of me said...

Afrobabe has said it. It depends on what hitting means. But if its a boyfriend, even if he raise im hand, I go run. Husband, one will have to see how sorry he is.

Rita said...

I have been with someone who got so angry at me that he started strangling me. In the few moments I had before shouting for help, I saw that if I was married to such a person, I may not last 2 years. And they would say "he was angry".

In my checklist for what I want in a husband, "He must not be violent" was No. 2.

Writefreak said...

I have never been hit but if a guy hits me, it's goodbye, if he does it once, he'll do it again! No one can change anyone! And pple hardly ever change, they only improve on who they are..what gives the guarantee they'd change anyway..
The only thing that'd make me stay and hope for a change is if we were married...and i'd really pray about it. But then, i think he'd have shown tendencies before getting married...
All said...God forbid bad thing sa! My husband is not a beast!

Mekistein said...

hey babes..hw fr?

Aphrodite said...

I just know the one thing i will ever stand for is a man who hits me...Even if he is the last man on earth!!!

StandTall-The Activist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
StandTall-The Activist said...

No, I have never being hit. I am married and I can never forgive being hit by my man. If he tries it, that is the end of the story.

I dont care whether is genuinely sorry or not...

There is a woman that is being hit constantly by her man, she is still there cuz of her kids. What if she dies, will the kids not leave on?

I am not negotiating this, it is the end of the marriage for me. Period

Funms-the rebirth said...

its never been done to me but my my bros and mum always tell me if a man ever hits me, i should get out fast and never go back

Jaguda said...

cant stand men who hit women.......weaklins[although a lot of women deserve it doesnt make it right]

wordmerchant said...

You hit me i walk...i mean there is no point being your boo with nice big purple lips!!! Life is too short to be used as a punch bag.

Uzezi said...

uzak_uz@yahoo.com

i want an invite to ur diary and i ve updated. check to see if u passed my truths and a lie

rethots said...

Hey comm'n do the needful.

Parakeet said...

My ex slapped me once. I was 19...we broke up in the end. Good thing though cos I heard he was almost jailed for hitting his wife now. God saved me I guess.

I dot know really. It'll depend on the force and of course the circumstance.

Smaragd said...

I second, third and fourth Bumight on this one!

Smaragd said...

on reading further, I second my twinny as well (Ibiluv), this subject is a sore spot with me, not that i've been hit, but i wont take it, l'agbara Olorun (by God's grace) I WILL WALK!

FFF said...

i've never been hit b4 n my life by a man other dan my father. even wit my father, i was so pissed about me as i got older than one day i warned him never to lay hands on me! he did beat me silly dat day, but i think he stopped soon enough. i always told d men i dated 'don't you ever in your life hit me!!!!' For me, it was the deal-breaker (i could almost forgive infidelity, but not being hit) and i needed to make that clear from the on-set, cos i didn't want any 'baby am sorry' on a later date.

on my own oh, i tried my possbile best not to get myself in a situation where d dude will be tempted to beat me. Growing up, we were always conscious dat men hated women with fast mouths & they 'disciplined those women with a slap'. well i fought that, i nevertheless learnt to control my mouth, or 2 run when i say something intentionally provocating.

Buttercup said...

I thought i had left a comment here already..

If a man hits me, even if i'd want to consider giving him a chance, i'd never look at him the same..the relationship wud eventually turn sour..so what then wud be the point of staying?

[***Fresh&Fab***] said...

i think when something like that happpens, unless your trying to be indenail, you will know it would happen again no matter how sorry whoever is.

Mistake or no mistake, whatever pushed then to hit or slap will definatley happen again...

wordmerchant said...

doll honey...i will drop you a line soon...haven't forgotton.

La Reine said...

No No and No.

Before it gets to physical, its emotional, and the short life I've had has shown me that At least.

-Not sticking with a person who doesn't know what it means to be a man.

JideSalu's Diary said...

DOLL,

am' back.

Men that hit women are weak. I am a man and I should know.

It is in times of provocation that you know what stuff your partner is made of.

There is no such thing as 'naija slap' or 'yankee or oyibo slap'. A slap is a slap, irrespective of the angle the slap came from.

If he does it once, he will do it again. Period. I tell my boys - ages 9 and 5 that they just can't hit girls. They know and I pray they act it. If they emulate their dad, then I will be rest assured that they will not even contemplate the thought.

well done Doll.

~Sirius~ said...

This happened to me it was an interval of 2 years...

It was always at the back of my mind.....I forgave, but I walked out.

~Sirius~ said...

PS: I walked out eventually........after 3yrs.
It was really hard, but deep down I knew it was the right thing to do.

Sha said...

let me tell u this, it is easy for ppl to say they are walking, but hw easy is that if it actually happens to u? Trust me, it isnt easy at all...

Olufunke said...

NO violence, no hitting, if he does it once, he will do it again.