TI where art thou?

I'm talkin' big boy rides
and big boy ice
Let me put this big boy in yo life

I  NEED THIS BIG BOY IN MY LIFE

Moving on, thanks y’all for all the encouragement in the last post, really made me feel better.
The birthday was simple, quiet and boring. It rained that morning; I went to church, cooked afterwards and some friends dropped by. Hopefully next year I’l be in a better place emotionally and financially for the big “25”.
Life is a vicious cycle. It goes round and round as long as you keep doing the same thing. You will never get a different result. That said, I also believe people can never change. I saw this somewhere “Love is never about hurting another person – no matter how sorry everyone is afterwards”. I’l elaborate in my next post.

Meanwhile have y’all voted for the blogsville awards..

24

I'l be 24 next week sunday...

I had a party for my 16th birthday..
Just got admission into Uni..there was every reason to be happy...

I remember vividly when i was turning 18...
O! what a great day that was, i was looking forward to being adult
I was all excited and i had a great time
Received my first kiss on that day


Then i turned 20...i was on the verge of writing my final exams
Excited about the labor market and the thoughts of no school was so exciting


Then i turned 22...
I had just bought my car..
Had a good job
Was making progress with my professional exams


Then i turned 23...
Got qualified professionally
Got promoted at the office
Life was super exciting


And now am turning 24
2010 has not been what i hoped for
First quarter was pretty banged up
Too many dashed hopes
Too many unfulfilled dreams
One nightmare too many
The melt down is catching up
Seems like time is racing
and am just still
Like a spectator
Am just in a messed up place emotionally & financially
But then there is:
still God
Still life
Still hope
Still a job
Still a pay check
Still a car
Still a home
Still family
Still friends
Still blogfam
Still ND
and i'l
still be turning 24!

Update + randomness

I have sorta lost my blogging mojo so i'l just do a question and answer session like BBB..for my next post..

You can ask me...any question..in the comments session or mail to dolchic@gmail.com and i'l answer honestly in my next post...


MINI UPDATE

Got out of my relationship in January

Right now..am just having mad fun free lancing...

...HOWEVER...

I am considering going into a newrelationship (with ND)..i'l decide after my birthday ...

ND is someone i'v known since 2005...been on and off on my case...cute, tall guy, good job, small money..LOL.. he is however not my usual kind of guy...he is kinda on the fast lane..but am loving the spontaneity, the fun, the parties, the dancing and he gives the word romance another meaning..i think i need the excitement jare


Having an exam free 2010..no books...no lectures..no reading...i kinda miss it

i'v had two job offers since Jan....finding it really hard to leave here but i think its time

I am still loosing weight! my appetite these days is practically zero

Emptied my account to decorate / re-model my room - this singular action alarmed my father because (according to him) its an indication that marriage is not in the cards...but am loving the new look of the room

Attended an ex- toaster's wedding on Friday

Met with the ex's ex on Sunday


My birthday is in 5 weeks - still trying to figure out the ultimate gift for myself

and lest i forget, i joined twitter

My first “single” valentine in 7 years”

Yup…2010…my first valentine as a single lady in 7 years…had fun…had two valentine dates...woke up at 7..went to church with my first valentine..then he cooked and served lunch (he took out the lights and lit those scented candles ish) and we gisted. He gave me perfume, cards and chocolate..

Had candle light Chinese dinner with "D" my 2nd val…got perfume, cards and chocolate too (like they consulted themselves)….
It was his birthday..i got him birthday cards (2 actually)

The high point of the day for me was when D’s friend came over to say hi while we were having dinner…and he goes “M meet……” bobo could not remember my name…(this is someone that has known me since 2005 and has been on and off on my case since then o!) he was embarrassed…funny enough, I wasn’t…I just looked on in silence….his friend left after making small conversation…he kept cracking his head and remembered in like 15 mins…spent the rest of the night apologizing to me…I wasn’t mad…but decided to let him sweat it out by keeping mum...was too tired to converse anyways

So much traffic on the Island..got home late…

Gave all the chocolates to my brothers…am loving my recent weight loss ….dont want to mess it up…

I wore a UK size 8 dress yesterday. ..!!!! I’v been a size 12 at some point o!

Dint buy no valentine gift for nobody...yes yes

So that’s how I spent my vals…

Valentine, 2011, who knows maybe I’l be married…maybe I’l be in a serious relationship…maybe I’l be single…maybe I’l be nursing a broken heart, maybe I’l be on the mend..MAYBE..whateva!

Today, just heard a good news and am kinda high infact drunk on the goodness, mercies and compassion of the Lord, who giveth without adding sorrow..i'l share later

Piss on y'all

Today

Father, now it seems inexplicable
It is painful; it is hard; almost unbearable
But i know it wont kill me.
The only way it will take me is forward

I am sure that on the day i wear the white dress...
I'l be properly grateful for today.
Amen.

simply grateful

The year started on a good note..bought my tear rubber in feb..got promoted in April...moved to our new house in June..


Then toward the end of the year, after Lamido's tsunami things took a down turn...salaries started coming in late, pay slash etc...depressing really..but this past Monday God decided i should have a reason to rejoice...final results for the professional exams i have been writing came out..AM CHARTERED..

So i have a lot to be grateful for in 2009 really...

Life and good health

A job and salary to look forward to at the end of the month (thousands of folks have their jobs in December alone due to downsizing, rightsizing and pack up of many businesses especially in the financial sector)

My admission to a professional body - (wrote the 5 diets back to back without failing any paper)

My brand new car

Our new house

My boyfriend

My work-out regime

My 65kg weight (from 71kg)

My brother's job


Here is to a better and dream fulfilling 2010. merry x-mas folks and happy new year. Whatever you do, do not forget the reason for the season. JESUS CHRIST

Do you think? (Random post)

that you will read your blog posts in say 5 years and feel ssilly?

I stumbled on my university diary and read it from cover to cover and just felt silly...all those childish rant...then i also wished i could be that carefre again, when my idea of a problem was getting a B grade in Mat 110 or missing "when you are mine"...(Paloma and Diego)

I long for the days when i dint have to budget half of my salary on aso ebi buying and attend weddings every frigging weekend...

Anyways moving on...my latest obsession has been fitness...for about 4 months now, iv been going to the gym a minimum of 2 times per week and i can proudly say....drums roll...that i'v dropped from 70kg to 64kg...NO DIETING. just 30 mins on the thread mill and 30 mins aerobics...

I wonder how being married feels....

i wonder how being pregnant feels....

I wonder how it feels to be a mother...to have a tiny weeny cutie...

soonest i'l know...

I am looking forward to my vacation in 2 weeks...cant wait...

You vs Him

With you I am happy but incomplete…

You spoil me with Tender Loving Care, you understand me, you know what I am capable of, You I can tell my every thought, express my every desire.

With you i am not self conscious, with you I can be myself, with you I discovered the joys of loving someone when the person loves you back

You are so romantic, so selfless, so giving, you know the right words to say, the right way to say it and how to make a girl feel special

But,

You have raised your hand to hit me twice, you are over possessive, you are insecure, you have family issues, you have no job, you have no income, your upbringing is the opposite of mine, you have a lackadaisical approach to important things, you never took your studies seriously, you don’t understand my job and my career aspirations….

when I look at You, all I see is a man I luv, a man with no potentials




With Him I am happy but incomplete

He is a good Christian, he has a job, he is intelligent, he is focused and driven, his upbringing is at par with mine, he is sweet, he is decent, he is a gentleman.

He draws me close to God, he makes me laugh, he is caring and loving, he is kind and selfless

Him, I can look up to for spiritual, financial and on the job guidance since we are in the same industry

With him, I am not who I am but who I want to be

But

He is not as tall as you are, he is not as romantic as you are; he is not spontaneous like you, he doesn’t make me cry like you, he doesn’t know me like you do, he has no idea what I am capable of doing


When I look at him, I see a man I can fall in luv with, a man with potentials but a man that is not YOU

How important is luv?

in a marriage that is...

The bitter sweet emotion of loving someone and having that person luv you back is an emotion everybody should experience at least once in a lifetime..

I grew up reading all them romance book, believing in prince charming and happy ever after...
but these days, with the rate of divorce on the rise...i have to ask myself how important is luv...afterall these folks getting divorced didn't they luv each other at some point? when they said" I do" were they not in crazy luv?

So i have decided to re-define my "to look out for' in choosing a future partner..here is my top 8..

• Top on the list is religion...i want someone that has the same beliefs and faith as i do..infact i want at least one of his parents to have these beliefs and values

• Intelligence ..i want my children to be smart

• Financial stability - You have to earn more than me...i'v been in the opposite band wagon...the insecurities...God! JUST believe me....this does matter

• Romantic - them dinners, gifts, roses, chocolates, card...YES YES YES...bring them on
  

• Predictable - Am so done with spontaneity

• Organized- this is because i am highly disorganized

• Manly - No mushy mushy guy pls...i can cry a bucket for both of us when necessary
  

• Basket ball height < or = 6 feet - this used to be no 1..but now i guess it doesn't matter so much anymore...but please (God let him) be at least my height
  

where to draw the line

Growing up, my father made was very influential in a lot of decisions I made…like I wanted to go to arts class..he thought I was too bright to waste away like that so he instructed me to go to science class…now am working andfirm…writing my final diet of ICAN this year…
I was gonna move to a rented apartment cuz the commute from the mainland (ikeja) to the Island (VI) were I work was hellish my father raised the roof…no daughter of his was gonna live alone…what decent girl lives alone when he parents are alive and bla bla…so I decided to move in with my mum’s younger sis in Lekki phase one…my papa no gree…anyways I busted o!lived with the traffic and life moved on
After school, when job offers came to, my father steered me to making a decision on which to accept

And a lot of other decisions I can’t write about for lack of zeal and energy

Anyways this year I decided to buy a brand new car and my dad gave me HELL..literally…he was of the opinion that a 22 (was 22 then) years old, single girl had no business driving a brand new car, what will people say an so on…but I put my foot down…it was my own hard earned money no be say aristo wan buy am for me…so I went ahead and bought the car…the day the car landed my dad did not come down to see it…he just pretended like it did not exist…the succeeding month was hell so much
So that I was considering clearing my account to rent a flat…for I couldn’t do anything right in the sight of my father…and I knew everything was anger cuz of the car

Fast-forward six months to the present

My dad drives this car like its his own…sometimes without even telling me, he doesn’t hesitate to brag to his friends..“this is my daughter and this is her car”
And I wonder what If I dint go ahead..

This year also I changed my church from my parents Baptist church cuz I felt I wasn’t growing spiritually…hell was raised..but I put my foot down and I think am spiritually better for it today


So I attended a wedding last weekend…the bride and groom were my friend in school. They have been together for 6 over six years now…since year one in school..

They wanted to get married last year but the girl’s parents have always been opposed to the whole relationship and marriage cuz the bobo is muslim& from a polygamous home while she is Christian…she tried to persuade them and stuff..as they no gree..she ran away from home to the guys house…anyways she got pregnant that is when they finally agreed to let her marry him…;last weekend @the wedding ceremony she looked so heavy like she’s gonna give birth soon.
And I know when we were in school she was saving herself for marriage (as in no sex policy) an now she had to be wadlng up and down on her own wedding day..

That said they say what a child sees standing up, the elders see sitting down (literally meaning elders..parents…are wiser), the bible also said “obey your mother and father that your days may be long on earth….”
I know they had a valid point..marriage is hard enough you might as well go in with as much leveled ground as possible..but are some mistakes not the individual’s own to make..the most painful mistake is the mistake somebody else coerced you into making…your own mistake you can still live with.