Reflecting on my life

Iv kept a prayer journal/ spiritual diary since 2005 cuz sometimes I ask God for things and I forget to be grateful enough or I forget my state of mind or how troubled, needy, desperate I was when I prayed.

Anyways over the weekend I read everything iv written about 50 pages and believe me God has been faithful. Everything I have asked of him he has given me. In 2005 I wanted to have the best result in my academic history and he gave me all A’s and a GP of 5. I wanted to graduate with a certain CGPA and he made it possible, I wanted to pass my ACCA exam and I did, I wanted to get a job immediately after skl and I got it, my NYSC year he took control of all the impromptu and numerous travellings, my boyfriends issues he resolved, our finances at home he has taken care of, my brothers admission has been settled and the list goes on and on. GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. I luv u Jesus.

Pls people tell me what can I do to my hair? Its light, its short. I have stunted hair growth. Because of the nature of the hair I never leave it unmade, always on braids or weaveon which doesn’t help matters I know, last wk I was so irritated I chopped the thing into half with scissors all by myself to give it sharp ends. I wish I could cut it all off, but am so scared it wont grow back. Maybe I should let the relaxed part fall of then carry it natural. Am so fed up

Answers & some more

Thanks Y’all for your comment in my last post. (how do I do this link thing self?) This love interest of mine is actually an ex-toaster. When he was asking me out in 2006 I kinda liked him and believe me when I say I like him loads more now than then. He is tall (Not as tall as my boyfriend tho), interesting to talk to (Compared to a lots of guys I know who are just bores! God they should take lessons from him), he has a good job, has a nice ride, looks good and most importantly he is so so so so very very intelligent (am a sucker for intelligent guys who are not too nerdish)

Don’t worry am not going to cheat on my boyfriend, He has a girlfriend now anyways. And I do believe in KARMA. Its just annoying that I can be attracted (you people said its attraction not luv right?) to him for this long. Anyways that is that…

In response to your questions in “Meme about Me” Why did I wait for 4 years before having sex with my boyfriend? We started dating when I was 17 and he was 22. wouldn’t it have been child abuse? LOL. Ok seriously sex I have always believe goes hand in hand with luv. I’v loved him for a long while and I knew he felt the same way but I wanted to be ready; whateva that means.

2^nd question; Having waited for that long why not save it till marriage. My dear in a way I’v always wanted to keep my virginity till marriage bed but after our 4^th anniversary I began to wonder, what if we don’t make it (I mean marriage) you know sometimes love is not sufficient, what you want is not what you get, man proposes Fate/ God disposes and all that. After all we’v been thru together I dint want anybody else to be my first, besides I had gotten to the point where I wont have any regrets, or wish I could undo the deed, or any such reaction if he had said immediately after sex “DOLL I don’t want you again, this is goodbye”. I was READY. LOL. Though btw me & u: during the 2 wks spotting aftermath I had some regrets. LOL

Today is one of them days when I don’t feel too great. Am lacking clarity as regards what I want to do with my life, I luv my job, the pay is good but the hours are way too long. I have worked for 2 years today (today is my Job anniversary). Last week I got a job at a bank (research and budget planning unit). The pay is 150% increase to my salary. Its unbelievably way too much money for a girl my age I tell you. LOL But the thing is am not exactly sure I want to work in the bank, I know its not marketing or something but it still feels like it’s a wrong move, my job feels wrong, this feels wrong too, I dunno what I want to do with my career, I want to do my own thing cuz this white collar job is not it, but WHAT, WHERE, HOW, Why???? I dunno.

This has got to be my longest post eva. Apologies. Have a gd weekend people.

SO I attended 2 bridal showers this week and its just Wednesday

Am not ready for marriage but these days I seem to always be talking bout marriage. I put the blame 100% on the alarming number of weddings I attended last month and the even scarier number am going to attend this month (all my salary these days goes to aso-ebi for real)No am not ready to be married but 2 many pple around me are getting married.

Anyways back to the main gist I attended 2 bridal showers earlier this week. It was so much fun with the usual girlie things, where did you meet, how and stuff.

Time comes for the married young women in our midst to give advice to the bride to-be. There were about ten married folks and they all spoke at length but one statement was common to all of them: “YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR MAN UNTIL YOU START LIVING WITH HIM” now that is some scary shit. How is it possible that the man you have dated (possibly for a long time), that you love, that loves you, that you have shared so many precious moments with will become a stranger just because you are now living under the same roof????? But for ten of them to say it I guess there must be some truth in it. SCARY DEFINITELY SCARY!!!!

You need to see us the unmarried ones scribbling on our notes like it was some lecture we will be examined on. Anyways with all the impeding marriages in blogville I may as well share what I took away (in my notebook) from this shower.

1. Marry a man that is absolutely crazy bout you (don’t compromise this)
2. All men are babies; pamper them and you will get your way
3. Never deny your husband sex and food even when you guys are not in best of terms (really?)
4. Make a conscious effort not to nag
5. Be submissive (don’t emasculate him)
6. Take care of your body and pay attention to your appearance (gym regularly, eat healthy, plan your meals, wear fine cloth, do fine hair styles etc)
7. Compromise (very important)
8. Be accommodating (if you are the quiet, stay at home person and your is the type that draw crowds, prepare to cook and clean after his friends all weekend; don’t chase him out)
9. Be efficient (house work, cooking, catering, pampering and all that can really be tiring esp. for a working wife)
10. Be prayerful and watchful (the onus is on the woman to not allow the devourer enter your home)
11. Have the mindset of “It will work” and “nothing is unresolvable”

Meme bout me

I AM.... cerebral, fun loving, introvert, extrovert, indoor person, outdoor person, am too dynamic

MY EX WAS... No ex sorry! (am still with my first boyfriend)

MAYBE I SHOULD... Give up my life here and move to Vegas

I LOVE... People who love me

I DONT UNDERSTAND... What I want to do with my career…really

I LOST MY.... Virginity two months ago damn!!!

MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND IS.... My first boyfriend

WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR… 4 and half years (a lifetime really)

AND HE IS….. My soulmate

PEOPLE SAY IM.... A great person

LOVE IS... An awesome thing – everyone should partake in this feeling

SOMEWHERE, SOMEONE IS... wishing i would jus give them that chance

I WILL ALWAYS.... Be myself

FOREVER IS.... Not always

I NEVER WANT TO.... Look back and have regrets

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING... I feel like going back to bed

LIFE IS FULL OF.... Surprises

MY PAST IS... good enough to tell my grandkids, too dull to write a book

I GET ANNOYED WHEN.... People annoy me (but hardly sha!)

PARTIES ARE FOR.... dancing (I guess)

GIRLS ARE..... girls….will always be

SEX IS... Lips sealed

I WISH.... I could go back to being a teenager (life was carefree then)

TOMORROW IM GOING TO..... Make my hair (It’s a weekend)

I REALLY WANT SOME.... I dunno

I HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE.... For people who are laggards

I AM NOT.... a bad girl

IF I HAD 100 MILLION DOLLARS... I’d begin my dream of providing education for less privileged girls & women empowerment programmes

MY JOB MAKES ME.... There must be easier and less stressful ways to make this money

Random thoughts

Dressing up this morning, I got extremely upset, to find what to wear is now war. I need a wardrobe overhaul. I hate buying clothes in Nigeria because most times when I go shopping I end up buying stuff just for the sake of it not that they were absolutely irresistible. I’ve been saving to go to Dubai but the rate at which this whole job thingy is going I doubt I’ll have time to travel this year. So am going shopping next weekend, sisters resident in Naija help a girl out, with the list and location of your favorite shops pls.

Now I understand why parents get over anxious bout their children, my younger bother is sixteen. Just completed secondary school, going to Uni next month. Somehow I was in possession of his phone for a short time and I snooped. (I normally don’t do this but I was curious for some strange reasons) anyways the text messages I saw on that phone made me a little worried. Different girls, different erotic messages. Children of these days! God help us, they are not conservative at all.

On a lighter note I have this bad habit I’v been trying to kick for 2 years now. I never noticed this until I started corporate work. I cant seem to leave my feet in my shoes. Once I sit down, unconsciously I take them shoes off. I’v tried to combat the problem by buying shoes with strap but unfortunately I don’t even realize when I take them off. Pls don’t tell me to go for flat corporate shoes. I absolutely hate them.

I have three weddings this weekend, plus ICAN classes 8am to 8pm. I don’t know how I’l juggle them. All these social responsibility is a huge blackmail, so is personal development. Maybe I’l skip all of them and read a novel at home. With the terrible week I had I guess it wont be too bad. Peace people. Enjoy the weekend.

i cant comprehend

Ok so i have this friend i met at A level class, very beauriful girl. we went to the same uni. at least for 100 level. she was the reigning chic on campus then cuz really she is beauriful, gorgeous, all in all.

Anyways she left for America after 100 level, we kept in touch for a while, after which correspondence ceased. Her mails started bouncing back (email de-activated), her no became incorrect.

After 3 years of incommunicado. I get a facebook add last week from her. I was so happy. went on to check he rpage out. Girl friend is now so sexy and gorgeous. i mean all dose baby fat has disappeared, she is so slim now (maybe a size 2) and healthily so. Her stomach is as flat as a board, her complexion is glowing. without wasting time i begin to leave photo comments. (meanwhile i need to register at a gym o!)

After checking out a couple of pictures i realized she is a stripper / lap dancer / hostess in one club like that in DC. I mean d pictures were all but nude with tags like "me preparing for my lap dance", "me before the next set", "me with a customer before a private viewing", "my stunt double", "me and my dancing partner" (this dancing partner is a hunk of a man wearing thong), 'me and my pdancing pole", etc.

I was quite taken aback, cuz this is a buriful intelligent girl, from a wealthy family (am sure if i type her surname here everyone will go really, cuz her popc is well known) with the world at her finger tips and now this is what she has become. The curious me that i am i quickly did some research on the club she works for and got an article (interview) that she granted the press last year. In it she says she ran away from home cuz her popc was stifling her, Africa also stifles freedom of women and that she is very adventourous and innovative. so she bought a one way ticket to DC and never looked back, that her dad tried to get her but she wouldnt come back home, now she is free and living the life.

I guess i should be happy for her, she seems quite happy and fufillled but i turned and tossed that night, ( i tend to overburden myself with people's issue sometimes) wondering what the future will hold for her and stuff). am really toubled o! we used to be really really good friends at some point

But really for a buriful 21 yr old girl from a rich home to abandon studies and become a stripper. is it no big deal? i'd luv to hear especially for people in Diaspora. Maybe its just troubling me cuz i reside in Naija. am sure am over reactin abi?

what happened??

I have no friend again. seems i have bought an unusual no of aso-ebi this year. Every one seems to be getting married, school friends, office friends, childhood friends. The others seem to have left the country for masters or something else. what happened to the time we could all hang out on sat (all girls) and gist about our boyfriends, our toasters? our future?

That said i have no new toaster (only the over recycled ones). that seems weird. I mean once upon a time i had 3 toasters per day. What happened to the weekends i used to be so bugged about which toaster to actually hang out with (when my sweetheart is not around tho) . i blame this plight on my 8am to 10pm job (i need to change jobs i think)

what happened to the weekends i could lounge at home, read novels, watch dvds, sleep, exercise, go shopping.....now i have to attend acca classes. 8am to 8pm Saturdays and Sundays?

Am I chasing after vanity? cuz now it seems there is money but no time to spend it.

no excitement, nothing to look forward to like that, just routine
Am bored, dissatisfied, anxious, on edge, and uneasy, paranoid, everything and am just 22. Seems my life moved to fast for me

or maybe cuz my sweetheart left Lagos today.

I guess the long and short of this post is that i miss him already

Let me stalk more blogs. see y'all l8r

the right mix of motherhood and career

SINCE blogville and the entire world seems to be getting married ( I’v bought over 13 aso-ebi this year alone) we may as well talk about motherhood and work

How do women….working women that is juggle career and motherhood especially when the kids are young???

When I was younger…. Two weeks before my 6^th birthday I was sexually molested by our houseboy…… he asked me to come and lick icecream (his dick) after one taste I cried that I dint like that type of icecream. After a few tears he asked me to take off my clothes and lie down on my stomach that he would give me the one I will prefer…..i did…this asshole was actually going to penetrate my ass-hole….i was 2 wks shy of 6 years (in fact party preparations were on going for my sixth birthday) and he was 22…..But before he could….. my brother came in and raised alarm……my parents were told when they got back…needless to say he was properly dealt with….the police were invited….my dad gave him some razor blade marks before the police arrived tho….

I have another friend that was usually left in the care of her mumc’s younger brother after school….pending when her parents get home from work this guy….her uncle raped her an raped her friend…school friend not once not twice not thrice…..she was 9, he was 27, her friend was 8….she couldn’t tell her mum, it was her friend that summoned up courage to tell her mum and that’s how the whole thing blew open her mum dint mention it to her father till today……because the guy is her brother and she was scared of his reaction tho she almost killed the guy with a pestle….when neighbors gathered she said the guy stole from her

Last year, a church member’s house girl threw her son down the stairs in a fleet of anger, one foot is now longer than the other…..

….And there are many more stories like that....

Pls do tell me how do you intend to juggle motherhood and career….am curious?

What is your take?

IMAO in any relationship(for ladies), the guy should like you more than you like him (sounds old school right???) but marriage is for the rest of your life……..think about this…..when a guy is asking you is a totally different ball game from when you are actually dating not to talk of when you are married (as in you have his name…as your last name)…if he is not mad ass into you now….when in God’s name will he be? After your breasts are sagged from breastfeeding or your tummy extended from child bearing???? This is not to imply in any way that you shouldn’t luv your boyfriend or be into him……cuz if you don’t feel anything for him….his luv will make you sick and disgusted…….but damn….let him luv you more…..or worst case scenario be in a position where its difficult to say who luvs who more………


How do you know when you are more into him than he is?

The most tell tale sign is: When you always wait for your phone to ring…..fighting hard to resist the temptation to call….cuz you called last (or you seem to be the one doing all the calling)… or he hasn’t called for a while and you don’t want to seem so obvious

….Others…..
His phone is always on silent when you are together……

He is always too busy to see you….work…pressure….rest…endless excuses…you always seem to be the one eager to see him….setting up dates, etc

You have been dating for a while but you have never met anyone in his family……

He doesn’t go out of his way to do anything for you

His ex is still somehow in the picture….and you cant comprehend that…..

You are somehow insecure….unhappy….unsure….

……and the list goes on…..


so if you are in a relationship where you are obviously more into the guy than he is into you my take is get out of it….like right now……

WHAT IS YOUR TAKE?

a girl, a ring

something wonderful happened at work today…a girl got a ring….this girl J, got proposed to by a kiss…her boyfriend came to take out for lunch and after dropping her off wanted a goodbye kiss…in the process of kissing he left her with something….a ring in her mouth (Unique innit?) by the time she brought it out of her mouth and figured it was an engagement ring the bobo was on his knees……. I mean I’v heard a lot of proposal styles but this is…….unique……exclusive…….

So when a girl gets engaged, does she sleep that night….??????

I tried to imagine the scenario on the day I will get the ring ……it better be romantic (Temi hear dis o! ) if not I will sya no (for real)…LOL

That night…..i imagine I will turn and toss…..and turn…..and wonder…..is he the right choice…how will d future be….how many kids….will he change….will I change…..and many more…..

I imagine anxiety……anticipation….joy….worry….and my overactive imagination will keep me awake…but then I can never tell until it happens right?????