I turned 25
I got engaged
My fiance got a new job
I attended some interviews
Dint get any job though
I had my marriage introduction
I started planning my wedding
I digress
I always wondered about my friends that planned their wedding admist many drama
Unfortunately I have realized that when multiple people have vested interest in anything arguments must surface.
i'v had many argument and one shouting match with my dad who I think had made this whole thing about him and what he wants forgeting that it may not be what we want or what my inlwas want
I have quarelled with the fiance and honestly we"v thought of canceling the wedding over silly stuff like number of guests.
Yup....that's how things can get apparently
2012 is a pregnant with expectations for me.
I'm getting married in 5 weeks
Can't wait for it to be over
I hope to be a better person
To be a good daughter to God
To be a good wife to my husband
And a better employee to my employers.
I pray I get a new job
I pray the wedding go well
I pray marriage lives up to my expectations
Merry xmas and happy 2012
P.s don't know wassup with my template. Regardless of all the spacings my last two posts including this comes out cramped. How do I fix this?
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
my dress
I got my dress today.
I almost cried when i tried it on.
It was so lovely, the lace beautiful, the crystals on it.....arrrrgh i almost cried. LOL
Now i feel like a bride
It was big , i am two size smaller.
Took it in for fitting
I almost cried when i tried it on.
It was so lovely, the lace beautiful, the crystals on it.....arrrrgh i almost cried. LOL
Now i feel like a bride
It was big , i am two size smaller.
Took it in for fitting
Thursday, December 8, 2011
from daddy's house to husband's house
I never wanted to move from Daddy’s house to husband’s house
I always wondered what it was like to be totally independent; make my own decisions and bear the consequences, go out and come as I please, be a slob, not own any kitchen utensils just because I can.(since I graduated I have been financially independent but never independent accommodation wise, even in the university, I never lived alone, NYSC and the five years plus of work post university, I never lived alone.
I found out soon enough that wasn’t happening in this lifetime. By the time I was 22, I tried to move out due to the commute from mainland to island but daddy wasn’t having any of that. Then the whole family moved to the island and there was no need for any of that.
My fiancé and I have gotten a house and it is very beautiful. Finally I have a place, even though I don’t get to live alone, even though I don’t get to be a slob, even though I have to cook and cook regularly for that matter, I am very excited. At least I get a say on the colors to paint, I get a say on what furniture, what utensils, what equipment, what type of décor yay! Yay!
And the best part, it is ten minutes away from the office, so I get to sleep in late and get home early on weekdays. Now I just have to endure traffic for the next 7 weeks.
I always wondered what it was like to be totally independent; make my own decisions and bear the consequences, go out and come as I please, be a slob, not own any kitchen utensils just because I can.(since I graduated I have been financially independent but never independent accommodation wise, even in the university, I never lived alone, NYSC and the five years plus of work post university, I never lived alone.
I found out soon enough that wasn’t happening in this lifetime. By the time I was 22, I tried to move out due to the commute from mainland to island but daddy wasn’t having any of that. Then the whole family moved to the island and there was no need for any of that.
My fiancé and I have gotten a house and it is very beautiful. Finally I have a place, even though I don’t get to live alone, even though I don’t get to be a slob, even though I have to cook and cook regularly for that matter, I am very excited. At least I get a say on the colors to paint, I get a say on what furniture, what utensils, what equipment, what type of décor yay! Yay!
And the best part, it is ten minutes away from the office, so I get to sleep in late and get home early on weekdays. Now I just have to endure traffic for the next 7 weeks.
Monday, November 28, 2011
two weeks vacation
I rested but not so much. It was my fiancé’s dad’s tenth year remembrance ceremony so we went to Benin for that. It was kind of nice to meet the extended family.
After that we went my home town for our introduction, the weird part was I felt like a spectator like the gathering wasn’t for me or for us, like I was sitting in somebody’s introduction.
When my parents were making the list from our immediate family they said there is an allocation for me to say what I want the groom to buy for me and I said nightgown, my dad was like seriously and with a straight face I said yup! Seriously. My mom requested for 10k, my dad requested for a fabric. All in all the list is very very reasonable, mostly drinks, kolanuts, 20 tubers of yam, N200 brideprice, etc. infact I’v been teasing him that they are dashing him wife.
My parents said that customary they are to buy me pots, plates, cutleries, wrappers, 3 boxes and a gift of my choosing to take to my husband’s house. I have begged that the wrapper matter should be left out, I don’t want them to waste their money and I have no intention of tying wrappers anytime soon. For the gift I chose a deep freezer.
Its two months and a week and 5 days to go and I’m kinda ahead of my workplan which is good. I have even distributed asoebi (although I am beginning to wish I did not bother with this).
We(I and the fiancé) have been quarrelling a lot, I think he’s been spending recklessly for someone that is getting married soon and has a wedding to finance. Also he says I’m a feminist I say he is a chauvinist. You see being the only male child and last of six children, he’s been over indulged so much so that he doesn’t take saving seriously and also I think he was brought up in a “If not for you all daddy’s toils would have gone to daddy’s brothers” male children are king kinda environment. Marriage counselling has helped us put some things in perspective. However after our last fight, we sat and talked about stuff and I think we’v reached a middle ground sorta. I have also resolved within me not to nag him about money for the wedding after all it’s just one day (strike that two days). I have also resolved to stop being argumentative, I know I like arguing but he apparently doesn’t and cannot argue without getting angry.
We found a house yay! It’s very close to our offices YAY! YAY! Now I can look forward to a traffic free married life.
I hate cooking but these days I find myself excited about cooking for him, yesterday he said he was gonna come straight to my house from the airport I happily bounced to the kitchen to fix him dinner, I was even humming whilst cooking, weird!
Anytime I think of him, the wedding, I find myself smiling stupidly. I guess I’m over last minutes jitters.
I am back to work (BBM crying smileys here) and back to the gym, speaking of which; I ate and drank like a glutton these two weeks and the scale did not budge. O well, that wasn’t a complaint.
After that we went my home town for our introduction, the weird part was I felt like a spectator like the gathering wasn’t for me or for us, like I was sitting in somebody’s introduction.
When my parents were making the list from our immediate family they said there is an allocation for me to say what I want the groom to buy for me and I said nightgown, my dad was like seriously and with a straight face I said yup! Seriously. My mom requested for 10k, my dad requested for a fabric. All in all the list is very very reasonable, mostly drinks, kolanuts, 20 tubers of yam, N200 brideprice, etc. infact I’v been teasing him that they are dashing him wife.
My parents said that customary they are to buy me pots, plates, cutleries, wrappers, 3 boxes and a gift of my choosing to take to my husband’s house. I have begged that the wrapper matter should be left out, I don’t want them to waste their money and I have no intention of tying wrappers anytime soon. For the gift I chose a deep freezer.
Its two months and a week and 5 days to go and I’m kinda ahead of my workplan which is good. I have even distributed asoebi (although I am beginning to wish I did not bother with this).
We(I and the fiancé) have been quarrelling a lot, I think he’s been spending recklessly for someone that is getting married soon and has a wedding to finance. Also he says I’m a feminist I say he is a chauvinist. You see being the only male child and last of six children, he’s been over indulged so much so that he doesn’t take saving seriously and also I think he was brought up in a “If not for you all daddy’s toils would have gone to daddy’s brothers” male children are king kinda environment. Marriage counselling has helped us put some things in perspective. However after our last fight, we sat and talked about stuff and I think we’v reached a middle ground sorta. I have also resolved within me not to nag him about money for the wedding after all it’s just one day (strike that two days). I have also resolved to stop being argumentative, I know I like arguing but he apparently doesn’t and cannot argue without getting angry.
We found a house yay! It’s very close to our offices YAY! YAY! Now I can look forward to a traffic free married life.
I hate cooking but these days I find myself excited about cooking for him, yesterday he said he was gonna come straight to my house from the airport I happily bounced to the kitchen to fix him dinner, I was even humming whilst cooking, weird!
Anytime I think of him, the wedding, I find myself smiling stupidly. I guess I’m over last minutes jitters.
I am back to work (BBM crying smileys here) and back to the gym, speaking of which; I ate and drank like a glutton these two weeks and the scale did not budge. O well, that wasn’t a complaint.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Count down: 3 months; 1 week.
A lot has happened since I blogged last. The fiancé has resumed at his new place of work and it has been weird not seeing him at his seat. But I still see him almost every mornings anyways.
Before we started counseling, I thought it would be all about “don’t have sex before marriage”, “be submissive”. “be loving” etc. Thankfully and surprisingly, it has been so deep, practical and useful. We have talked about having a healthy self-image and how a poor self-image affects marriage. We’v talked about stuff that can lead to conflict in marriage and how to handle them. Last week we started our classes on communication, ironically we had a big fight the Friday before and after the class we could see how communication would have helped avoid it. It is really going on well.
The weight loss is also going very well, it has been 12 weeks of going to the gym at least 4 times a week (most times 5 days) and it is paying off big time. When I get my dress (which should get to the store in the US on the 15th of next month yay!). I shall be ready.
My dad is one of a kind (I swear). Have you heard of anybody who’s two parents live in Lagos, travel to the village for introduction so that the kinsmen can be part of it. I said introduction o! not traditional wedding. the man exasperate me. But mumc keeps reminding me that I’m his only daughter so I should indulge him. It would be easier if he was more reasonable but then it is daddy, no surprises. Anyways we have to go to the village in about two weeks
I went for my wedding makeup trial (thank God I did). Cuz I got constructive feedback from a couple of friends and now we know just what work.
I’m sorting out my bridesmaids this week and also placing order for asoebi this weekend. We’v ordered our wedding invitations from the States.
After which I would have music band, MC, wedding bands, clothes& shoes& accessories for bride and groom (traditional wedding), wedding programme outstanding. The fiancé has not ordered or even decided where to order his tuxedo from or what to do about his grooms men. O well, that is not on my workplan so…
Its 3 months, one week to go.
Before we started counseling, I thought it would be all about “don’t have sex before marriage”, “be submissive”. “be loving” etc. Thankfully and surprisingly, it has been so deep, practical and useful. We have talked about having a healthy self-image and how a poor self-image affects marriage. We’v talked about stuff that can lead to conflict in marriage and how to handle them. Last week we started our classes on communication, ironically we had a big fight the Friday before and after the class we could see how communication would have helped avoid it. It is really going on well.
The weight loss is also going very well, it has been 12 weeks of going to the gym at least 4 times a week (most times 5 days) and it is paying off big time. When I get my dress (which should get to the store in the US on the 15th of next month yay!). I shall be ready.
My dad is one of a kind (I swear). Have you heard of anybody who’s two parents live in Lagos, travel to the village for introduction so that the kinsmen can be part of it. I said introduction o! not traditional wedding. the man exasperate me. But mumc keeps reminding me that I’m his only daughter so I should indulge him. It would be easier if he was more reasonable but then it is daddy, no surprises. Anyways we have to go to the village in about two weeks
I went for my wedding makeup trial (thank God I did). Cuz I got constructive feedback from a couple of friends and now we know just what work.
I’m sorting out my bridesmaids this week and also placing order for asoebi this weekend. We’v ordered our wedding invitations from the States.
After which I would have music band, MC, wedding bands, clothes& shoes& accessories for bride and groom (traditional wedding), wedding programme outstanding. The fiancé has not ordered or even decided where to order his tuxedo from or what to do about his grooms men. O well, that is not on my workplan so…
Its 3 months, one week to go.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Absu Rape walk + Bridemaid palaver + more testimonies
I participated in the ABSU rape walk yesterday in Lagos. The turnout was impressive, a good number of guys turned up too. Reporters from the BBC and other media were on ground and the Police and Lastma were behind us as well. We walked from NTA on Ahmadu Bello to Abia State Liaison office on Ahmadu Bello as well, but we walked through the streets In between. All in all, the walk took an hour and half. We carried placards, sang, distributed tracts, etc.
The shocker however, was that most of the men we gave the tracts to, said and I quote “tell women not to dress enticingly so as not to attract rape to themselves”. This was the consensus from mallam hawking on the streets / gatemen to educated, enlightened people in cars. Na wa! We have a lot to do in educating ourselves and our children especially our sons. Even if a woman is naked, look the other way, how does that mean she is asking to be raped? SMH. NO means NO.
See me see bridesmaid palaver! I have three best-friends from three phases of my life; childhood, church and university. I asked the three of them to be on my bridal train plus two others friends. I wanted the University bestie to be the Maid of Honor (MOH), apart from the fact that she is my most recent bestie, she is also in the UK and she can buy her dress there and it would be ok for her to have a different dress since she is the MOH.
My childhood bestie lives in Zaria, our communication is majorly telephone and email based as we probably see once in two years and she is getting married a month before me so no issues on why she isn’t MOH and stuff.
My bestie from church however lives here in Lagos and she is the one that has been helping me with some running around and stuff here. However, she automatically assumed she would be MOH and I couldn’t say she wasn’t, so I became stuck with two MOH.
I am fine with having two MOH, however, University bestie found out that I had two MOHs and is mad and doesn’t want to be on the train anymore. Things have been strained between us ever since.
October has started on a good note for me. I was promoted two steps at the office. Praise the Lord!!!!!
P.S I am still looking to change jobs though.
P.P.S i tried uploading pictures from the walk, but i cant, either the pictures are large or my connection is slow.
The shocker however, was that most of the men we gave the tracts to, said and I quote “tell women not to dress enticingly so as not to attract rape to themselves”. This was the consensus from mallam hawking on the streets / gatemen to educated, enlightened people in cars. Na wa! We have a lot to do in educating ourselves and our children especially our sons. Even if a woman is naked, look the other way, how does that mean she is asking to be raped? SMH. NO means NO.
See me see bridesmaid palaver! I have three best-friends from three phases of my life; childhood, church and university. I asked the three of them to be on my bridal train plus two others friends. I wanted the University bestie to be the Maid of Honor (MOH), apart from the fact that she is my most recent bestie, she is also in the UK and she can buy her dress there and it would be ok for her to have a different dress since she is the MOH.
My childhood bestie lives in Zaria, our communication is majorly telephone and email based as we probably see once in two years and she is getting married a month before me so no issues on why she isn’t MOH and stuff.
My bestie from church however lives here in Lagos and she is the one that has been helping me with some running around and stuff here. However, she automatically assumed she would be MOH and I couldn’t say she wasn’t, so I became stuck with two MOH.
I am fine with having two MOH, however, University bestie found out that I had two MOHs and is mad and doesn’t want to be on the train anymore. Things have been strained between us ever since.
October has started on a good note for me. I was promoted two steps at the office. Praise the Lord!!!!!
P.S I am still looking to change jobs though.
P.P.S i tried uploading pictures from the walk, but i cant, either the pictures are large or my connection is slow.
Friday, September 30, 2011
4 months to go
Happy new month.
4 months to go.
preparations are not were I thought they would be now
but I'm still grateful
September was an awesome and testimony filled month for me.
My fiance got a job - we were beginning to consider postponing the wedding, because we did not want to get married whilst working for the same firm. Even though our boss has offered to amend the office policy because he doesn't want to lose any of us, we felt we should diversify our financial risk before marrying. Anyways, when all our parents, uncles, aunties and all our contact failed, God turned up. He did that which only him can do and which only him can take the glory for.
My private client(what we call personal practice "PP") also came through. This is the biggest PP job i have done till date. The deal was signed in January and i'v been waiting on mobilization since April. i guess it couldn't have come in a more perfect time. I am liquid! YAY
This month of October, hopefully, i should accelerate my planning. We found another hall we liked, it was absolutely beautiful, needed little or no decoration, came with a lot of perks, however someone beat us to it. Apparently, valentine weekend is HOT in demand for wedding. We have decided to settle for this, because it is the other perfect place we have found. This means food and drinks have also been taken care of.
We have also started marriage counseling in the church.
Next up on my list is sorting my bridesmaids out, purchasing our rings, ordering our wedding IVs and Programme.
Here to a testimony filled October
Happy independence celebration
4 months to go.
preparations are not were I thought they would be now
but I'm still grateful
September was an awesome and testimony filled month for me.
My fiance got a job - we were beginning to consider postponing the wedding, because we did not want to get married whilst working for the same firm. Even though our boss has offered to amend the office policy because he doesn't want to lose any of us, we felt we should diversify our financial risk before marrying. Anyways, when all our parents, uncles, aunties and all our contact failed, God turned up. He did that which only him can do and which only him can take the glory for.
My private client(what we call personal practice "PP") also came through. This is the biggest PP job i have done till date. The deal was signed in January and i'v been waiting on mobilization since April. i guess it couldn't have come in a more perfect time. I am liquid! YAY
This month of October, hopefully, i should accelerate my planning. We found another hall we liked, it was absolutely beautiful, needed little or no decoration, came with a lot of perks, however someone beat us to it. Apparently, valentine weekend is HOT in demand for wedding. We have decided to settle for this, because it is the other perfect place we have found. This means food and drinks have also been taken care of.
We have also started marriage counseling in the church.
Next up on my list is sorting my bridesmaids out, purchasing our rings, ordering our wedding IVs and Programme.
Here to a testimony filled October
Happy independence celebration
Friday, September 2, 2011
Reception Venue
So last weekend, we went to check out a potential reception venue and we both loved it.
The hall was big with space that gives plenty options for decoration. Also the ambiance was cool, lots of greens, you know garden type stuff, enough spots to take really cool pictures, neat environment, enough parking space. Also because it is a sports recreational club located in an estate, we can rule out people just strolling past and looking for food to eat. The price for the hall was exactly our budget, infact it is cheaper for members of the club and some of my dad's friends are members so we could save about 100k by booking through them. The fiance and i were really excited.
Until we were told we need to patronize them for food and drinks. I haven't gotten a caterer yet, if the food would be good why not? why worry about cooling vans for the drinks, etc. if they can worry about it. and of course they said we could bring in our shayo (alcohol). So we are good yea?
Up until i saw the price list. we'll be paying restaurant price for the food and drinks. and saving nothing for cooking in bulk? i mean 500 people! (we are planning to invite 250 - 300 people and prepare for 500).
When she (the liaison person) sensed my loss of interest, she said she can offer some discounts here and there! she is to bring the revised invoice to my office on Tuesday but i think i better spend this weekend scouting for options.
Happy September! Congrats to Sirius on the birth of her bouncing baby.
P.s i have been having funny recurrent dreams were my bridemaid (a different one each time) refuses to wear their dress on my wedding day! very WEIRD
The hall was big with space that gives plenty options for decoration. Also the ambiance was cool, lots of greens, you know garden type stuff, enough spots to take really cool pictures, neat environment, enough parking space. Also because it is a sports recreational club located in an estate, we can rule out people just strolling past and looking for food to eat. The price for the hall was exactly our budget, infact it is cheaper for members of the club and some of my dad's friends are members so we could save about 100k by booking through them. The fiance and i were really excited.
Until we were told we need to patronize them for food and drinks. I haven't gotten a caterer yet, if the food would be good why not? why worry about cooling vans for the drinks, etc. if they can worry about it. and of course they said we could bring in our shayo (alcohol). So we are good yea?
Up until i saw the price list. we'll be paying restaurant price for the food and drinks. and saving nothing for cooking in bulk? i mean 500 people! (we are planning to invite 250 - 300 people and prepare for 500).
When she (the liaison person) sensed my loss of interest, she said she can offer some discounts here and there! she is to bring the revised invoice to my office on Tuesday but i think i better spend this weekend scouting for options.
Happy September! Congrats to Sirius on the birth of her bouncing baby.
P.s i have been having funny recurrent dreams were my bridemaid (a different one each time) refuses to wear their dress on my wedding day! very WEIRD
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Why did we struggle to grow up???
Life is one twisted irony!
When we were in secondary school, we all longed to get into university, freedom! School without uniform, campus life, less parental controls, etc.
Then we got to university and became fed up with endless lectures, project work, assignments, etc. The working class strata became more attractive, Imagine working hard and being paid at the end of the month as opposed to an A grade in our report cards. We imagine being able to spend money on some luxuries we craved but couldn’t dare to mention to our parents.
Then we graduate with good grades and get the dream job and realize that waking up at 5am to spend endless hours in traffic, to sit in front of the computer crunching numbers isn’t exactly fun. We find out soon enough that the take home doesn’t really take us home. Being among the working class population is not as exciting as we imagined it would be.
Then we begin to seek out the next new excitement. What next? Marriage of course. We begin to fantasize about finding “the one”. It would be nice to have someone to be there for us permanently, no worries about if we are wanted for just for sex, or for money, or for looks. This right here is for keeps, forever! Only to find out that living happily ever after is just a fantasy and idols have clay feet.
Then we graduate to giving birth to children only to realize that babies are super cute when they can be returned, not when you are stuck with them 24:7.
Then we wake up one day with 10 teeth, needing the support of a walking stick to move around and we wondered why we grew up, because growing up is indeed a TRAP.
My point???make the most of the phase of life you are right now, cause there is no turning back the hands of the clock.
P.S i'm cranky, anxious, on edge, and uneasy. I need a vacation!!!!!
I am trying to inhale, exhale...breathe
When we were in secondary school, we all longed to get into university, freedom! School without uniform, campus life, less parental controls, etc.
Then we got to university and became fed up with endless lectures, project work, assignments, etc. The working class strata became more attractive, Imagine working hard and being paid at the end of the month as opposed to an A grade in our report cards. We imagine being able to spend money on some luxuries we craved but couldn’t dare to mention to our parents.
Then we graduate with good grades and get the dream job and realize that waking up at 5am to spend endless hours in traffic, to sit in front of the computer crunching numbers isn’t exactly fun. We find out soon enough that the take home doesn’t really take us home. Being among the working class population is not as exciting as we imagined it would be.
Then we begin to seek out the next new excitement. What next? Marriage of course. We begin to fantasize about finding “the one”. It would be nice to have someone to be there for us permanently, no worries about if we are wanted for just for sex, or for money, or for looks. This right here is for keeps, forever! Only to find out that living happily ever after is just a fantasy and idols have clay feet.
Then we graduate to giving birth to children only to realize that babies are super cute when they can be returned, not when you are stuck with them 24:7.
Then we wake up one day with 10 teeth, needing the support of a walking stick to move around and we wondered why we grew up, because growing up is indeed a TRAP.
My point???make the most of the phase of life you are right now, cause there is no turning back the hands of the clock.
P.S i'm cranky, anxious, on edge, and uneasy. I need a vacation!!!!!
I am trying to inhale, exhale...breathe
Monday, August 15, 2011
Thankful Monday
SO I did not get the job I mentioned in my former post and I have been feeling sorry for myself, but there is still a lot to be thankful for so I have to snap out of it sharply and offer my sacrifice of praise. Here goes my top 5:
1. God - My father, my friend. There are times I feel so loved by him, and other times when I feel abandoned by him. But I have come to realize that he always comes through for me and I’m really grateful that I have my prayer book to remind me of his mercies over the years and to power up my faith.
2. Life – Headcount, everyone complete. 7 months of 2011 is behind us, and I have not lost any family member or anyone I love. I can’t take this for granted
3. Love – My fiancé: my lover, my friend. Every day I thank God for taking my all heart desires including the ones I couldn’t dare to hope for and breathing life into it. Now I can read God’s definition of love (as found in 1st Corinthians 13) with a smile. I have indeed found “the one”.
4. Family – I was listening to Chaz B’s sharing life issues sometime last week and the conclusion was that most families are dysfunctional. My family are not rich, just lower average, but they are united, full of life, supportive, loving, caring, and most importantly saved.
5. Laughter - Haven experienced emotional and financial discouragement, disappointment and depression at some point in my life, laughter is indeed a pleasure, a luxury to be thankful for.
1. God - My father, my friend. There are times I feel so loved by him, and other times when I feel abandoned by him. But I have come to realize that he always comes through for me and I’m really grateful that I have my prayer book to remind me of his mercies over the years and to power up my faith.
2. Life – Headcount, everyone complete. 7 months of 2011 is behind us, and I have not lost any family member or anyone I love. I can’t take this for granted
3. Love – My fiancé: my lover, my friend. Every day I thank God for taking my all heart desires including the ones I couldn’t dare to hope for and breathing life into it. Now I can read God’s definition of love (as found in 1st Corinthians 13) with a smile. I have indeed found “the one”.
4. Family – I was listening to Chaz B’s sharing life issues sometime last week and the conclusion was that most families are dysfunctional. My family are not rich, just lower average, but they are united, full of life, supportive, loving, caring, and most importantly saved.
5. Laughter - Haven experienced emotional and financial discouragement, disappointment and depression at some point in my life, laughter is indeed a pleasure, a luxury to be thankful for.
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