A lot has happened since I blogged last. The fiancé has resumed at his new place of work and it has been weird not seeing him at his seat. But I still see him almost every mornings anyways.
Before we started counseling, I thought it would be all about “don’t have sex before marriage”, “be submissive”. “be loving” etc. Thankfully and surprisingly, it has been so deep, practical and useful. We have talked about having a healthy self-image and how a poor self-image affects marriage. We’v talked about stuff that can lead to conflict in marriage and how to handle them. Last week we started our classes on communication, ironically we had a big fight the Friday before and after the class we could see how communication would have helped avoid it. It is really going on well.
The weight loss is also going very well, it has been 12 weeks of going to the gym at least 4 times a week (most times 5 days) and it is paying off big time. When I get my dress (which should get to the store in the US on the 15th of next month yay!). I shall be ready.
My dad is one of a kind (I swear). Have you heard of anybody who’s two parents live in Lagos, travel to the village for introduction so that the kinsmen can be part of it. I said introduction o! not traditional wedding. the man exasperate me. But mumc keeps reminding me that I’m his only daughter so I should indulge him. It would be easier if he was more reasonable but then it is daddy, no surprises. Anyways we have to go to the village in about two weeks
I went for my wedding makeup trial (thank God I did). Cuz I got constructive feedback from a couple of friends and now we know just what work.
I’m sorting out my bridesmaids this week and also placing order for asoebi this weekend. We’v ordered our wedding invitations from the States.
After which I would have music band, MC, wedding bands, clothes& shoes& accessories for bride and groom (traditional wedding), wedding programme outstanding. The fiancé has not ordered or even decided where to order his tuxedo from or what to do about his grooms men. O well, that is not on my workplan so…
Its 3 months, one week to go.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Absu Rape walk + Bridemaid palaver + more testimonies
I participated in the ABSU rape walk yesterday in Lagos. The turnout was impressive, a good number of guys turned up too. Reporters from the BBC and other media were on ground and the Police and Lastma were behind us as well. We walked from NTA on Ahmadu Bello to Abia State Liaison office on Ahmadu Bello as well, but we walked through the streets In between. All in all, the walk took an hour and half. We carried placards, sang, distributed tracts, etc.
The shocker however, was that most of the men we gave the tracts to, said and I quote “tell women not to dress enticingly so as not to attract rape to themselves”. This was the consensus from mallam hawking on the streets / gatemen to educated, enlightened people in cars. Na wa! We have a lot to do in educating ourselves and our children especially our sons. Even if a woman is naked, look the other way, how does that mean she is asking to be raped? SMH. NO means NO.
See me see bridesmaid palaver! I have three best-friends from three phases of my life; childhood, church and university. I asked the three of them to be on my bridal train plus two others friends. I wanted the University bestie to be the Maid of Honor (MOH), apart from the fact that she is my most recent bestie, she is also in the UK and she can buy her dress there and it would be ok for her to have a different dress since she is the MOH.
My childhood bestie lives in Zaria, our communication is majorly telephone and email based as we probably see once in two years and she is getting married a month before me so no issues on why she isn’t MOH and stuff.
My bestie from church however lives here in Lagos and she is the one that has been helping me with some running around and stuff here. However, she automatically assumed she would be MOH and I couldn’t say she wasn’t, so I became stuck with two MOH.
I am fine with having two MOH, however, University bestie found out that I had two MOHs and is mad and doesn’t want to be on the train anymore. Things have been strained between us ever since.
October has started on a good note for me. I was promoted two steps at the office. Praise the Lord!!!!!
P.S I am still looking to change jobs though.
P.P.S i tried uploading pictures from the walk, but i cant, either the pictures are large or my connection is slow.
The shocker however, was that most of the men we gave the tracts to, said and I quote “tell women not to dress enticingly so as not to attract rape to themselves”. This was the consensus from mallam hawking on the streets / gatemen to educated, enlightened people in cars. Na wa! We have a lot to do in educating ourselves and our children especially our sons. Even if a woman is naked, look the other way, how does that mean she is asking to be raped? SMH. NO means NO.
See me see bridesmaid palaver! I have three best-friends from three phases of my life; childhood, church and university. I asked the three of them to be on my bridal train plus two others friends. I wanted the University bestie to be the Maid of Honor (MOH), apart from the fact that she is my most recent bestie, she is also in the UK and she can buy her dress there and it would be ok for her to have a different dress since she is the MOH.
My childhood bestie lives in Zaria, our communication is majorly telephone and email based as we probably see once in two years and she is getting married a month before me so no issues on why she isn’t MOH and stuff.
My bestie from church however lives here in Lagos and she is the one that has been helping me with some running around and stuff here. However, she automatically assumed she would be MOH and I couldn’t say she wasn’t, so I became stuck with two MOH.
I am fine with having two MOH, however, University bestie found out that I had two MOHs and is mad and doesn’t want to be on the train anymore. Things have been strained between us ever since.
October has started on a good note for me. I was promoted two steps at the office. Praise the Lord!!!!!
P.S I am still looking to change jobs though.
P.P.S i tried uploading pictures from the walk, but i cant, either the pictures are large or my connection is slow.
Friday, September 30, 2011
4 months to go
Happy new month.
4 months to go.
preparations are not were I thought they would be now
but I'm still grateful
September was an awesome and testimony filled month for me.
My fiance got a job - we were beginning to consider postponing the wedding, because we did not want to get married whilst working for the same firm. Even though our boss has offered to amend the office policy because he doesn't want to lose any of us, we felt we should diversify our financial risk before marrying. Anyways, when all our parents, uncles, aunties and all our contact failed, God turned up. He did that which only him can do and which only him can take the glory for.
My private client(what we call personal practice "PP") also came through. This is the biggest PP job i have done till date. The deal was signed in January and i'v been waiting on mobilization since April. i guess it couldn't have come in a more perfect time. I am liquid! YAY
This month of October, hopefully, i should accelerate my planning. We found another hall we liked, it was absolutely beautiful, needed little or no decoration, came with a lot of perks, however someone beat us to it. Apparently, valentine weekend is HOT in demand for wedding. We have decided to settle for this, because it is the other perfect place we have found. This means food and drinks have also been taken care of.
We have also started marriage counseling in the church.
Next up on my list is sorting my bridesmaids out, purchasing our rings, ordering our wedding IVs and Programme.
Here to a testimony filled October
Happy independence celebration
4 months to go.
preparations are not were I thought they would be now
but I'm still grateful
September was an awesome and testimony filled month for me.
My fiance got a job - we were beginning to consider postponing the wedding, because we did not want to get married whilst working for the same firm. Even though our boss has offered to amend the office policy because he doesn't want to lose any of us, we felt we should diversify our financial risk before marrying. Anyways, when all our parents, uncles, aunties and all our contact failed, God turned up. He did that which only him can do and which only him can take the glory for.
My private client(what we call personal practice "PP") also came through. This is the biggest PP job i have done till date. The deal was signed in January and i'v been waiting on mobilization since April. i guess it couldn't have come in a more perfect time. I am liquid! YAY
This month of October, hopefully, i should accelerate my planning. We found another hall we liked, it was absolutely beautiful, needed little or no decoration, came with a lot of perks, however someone beat us to it. Apparently, valentine weekend is HOT in demand for wedding. We have decided to settle for this, because it is the other perfect place we have found. This means food and drinks have also been taken care of.
We have also started marriage counseling in the church.
Next up on my list is sorting my bridesmaids out, purchasing our rings, ordering our wedding IVs and Programme.
Here to a testimony filled October
Happy independence celebration
Friday, September 2, 2011
Reception Venue
So last weekend, we went to check out a potential reception venue and we both loved it.
The hall was big with space that gives plenty options for decoration. Also the ambiance was cool, lots of greens, you know garden type stuff, enough spots to take really cool pictures, neat environment, enough parking space. Also because it is a sports recreational club located in an estate, we can rule out people just strolling past and looking for food to eat. The price for the hall was exactly our budget, infact it is cheaper for members of the club and some of my dad's friends are members so we could save about 100k by booking through them. The fiance and i were really excited.
Until we were told we need to patronize them for food and drinks. I haven't gotten a caterer yet, if the food would be good why not? why worry about cooling vans for the drinks, etc. if they can worry about it. and of course they said we could bring in our shayo (alcohol). So we are good yea?
Up until i saw the price list. we'll be paying restaurant price for the food and drinks. and saving nothing for cooking in bulk? i mean 500 people! (we are planning to invite 250 - 300 people and prepare for 500).
When she (the liaison person) sensed my loss of interest, she said she can offer some discounts here and there! she is to bring the revised invoice to my office on Tuesday but i think i better spend this weekend scouting for options.
Happy September! Congrats to Sirius on the birth of her bouncing baby.
P.s i have been having funny recurrent dreams were my bridemaid (a different one each time) refuses to wear their dress on my wedding day! very WEIRD
The hall was big with space that gives plenty options for decoration. Also the ambiance was cool, lots of greens, you know garden type stuff, enough spots to take really cool pictures, neat environment, enough parking space. Also because it is a sports recreational club located in an estate, we can rule out people just strolling past and looking for food to eat. The price for the hall was exactly our budget, infact it is cheaper for members of the club and some of my dad's friends are members so we could save about 100k by booking through them. The fiance and i were really excited.
Until we were told we need to patronize them for food and drinks. I haven't gotten a caterer yet, if the food would be good why not? why worry about cooling vans for the drinks, etc. if they can worry about it. and of course they said we could bring in our shayo (alcohol). So we are good yea?
Up until i saw the price list. we'll be paying restaurant price for the food and drinks. and saving nothing for cooking in bulk? i mean 500 people! (we are planning to invite 250 - 300 people and prepare for 500).
When she (the liaison person) sensed my loss of interest, she said she can offer some discounts here and there! she is to bring the revised invoice to my office on Tuesday but i think i better spend this weekend scouting for options.
Happy September! Congrats to Sirius on the birth of her bouncing baby.
P.s i have been having funny recurrent dreams were my bridemaid (a different one each time) refuses to wear their dress on my wedding day! very WEIRD
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Why did we struggle to grow up???
Life is one twisted irony!
When we were in secondary school, we all longed to get into university, freedom! School without uniform, campus life, less parental controls, etc.
Then we got to university and became fed up with endless lectures, project work, assignments, etc. The working class strata became more attractive, Imagine working hard and being paid at the end of the month as opposed to an A grade in our report cards. We imagine being able to spend money on some luxuries we craved but couldn’t dare to mention to our parents.
Then we graduate with good grades and get the dream job and realize that waking up at 5am to spend endless hours in traffic, to sit in front of the computer crunching numbers isn’t exactly fun. We find out soon enough that the take home doesn’t really take us home. Being among the working class population is not as exciting as we imagined it would be.
Then we begin to seek out the next new excitement. What next? Marriage of course. We begin to fantasize about finding “the one”. It would be nice to have someone to be there for us permanently, no worries about if we are wanted for just for sex, or for money, or for looks. This right here is for keeps, forever! Only to find out that living happily ever after is just a fantasy and idols have clay feet.
Then we graduate to giving birth to children only to realize that babies are super cute when they can be returned, not when you are stuck with them 24:7.
Then we wake up one day with 10 teeth, needing the support of a walking stick to move around and we wondered why we grew up, because growing up is indeed a TRAP.
My point???make the most of the phase of life you are right now, cause there is no turning back the hands of the clock.
P.S i'm cranky, anxious, on edge, and uneasy. I need a vacation!!!!!
I am trying to inhale, exhale...breathe
When we were in secondary school, we all longed to get into university, freedom! School without uniform, campus life, less parental controls, etc.
Then we got to university and became fed up with endless lectures, project work, assignments, etc. The working class strata became more attractive, Imagine working hard and being paid at the end of the month as opposed to an A grade in our report cards. We imagine being able to spend money on some luxuries we craved but couldn’t dare to mention to our parents.
Then we graduate with good grades and get the dream job and realize that waking up at 5am to spend endless hours in traffic, to sit in front of the computer crunching numbers isn’t exactly fun. We find out soon enough that the take home doesn’t really take us home. Being among the working class population is not as exciting as we imagined it would be.
Then we begin to seek out the next new excitement. What next? Marriage of course. We begin to fantasize about finding “the one”. It would be nice to have someone to be there for us permanently, no worries about if we are wanted for just for sex, or for money, or for looks. This right here is for keeps, forever! Only to find out that living happily ever after is just a fantasy and idols have clay feet.
Then we graduate to giving birth to children only to realize that babies are super cute when they can be returned, not when you are stuck with them 24:7.
Then we wake up one day with 10 teeth, needing the support of a walking stick to move around and we wondered why we grew up, because growing up is indeed a TRAP.
My point???make the most of the phase of life you are right now, cause there is no turning back the hands of the clock.
P.S i'm cranky, anxious, on edge, and uneasy. I need a vacation!!!!!
I am trying to inhale, exhale...breathe
Monday, August 15, 2011
Thankful Monday
SO I did not get the job I mentioned in my former post and I have been feeling sorry for myself, but there is still a lot to be thankful for so I have to snap out of it sharply and offer my sacrifice of praise. Here goes my top 5:
1. God - My father, my friend. There are times I feel so loved by him, and other times when I feel abandoned by him. But I have come to realize that he always comes through for me and I’m really grateful that I have my prayer book to remind me of his mercies over the years and to power up my faith.
2. Life – Headcount, everyone complete. 7 months of 2011 is behind us, and I have not lost any family member or anyone I love. I can’t take this for granted
3. Love – My fiancé: my lover, my friend. Every day I thank God for taking my all heart desires including the ones I couldn’t dare to hope for and breathing life into it. Now I can read God’s definition of love (as found in 1st Corinthians 13) with a smile. I have indeed found “the one”.
4. Family – I was listening to Chaz B’s sharing life issues sometime last week and the conclusion was that most families are dysfunctional. My family are not rich, just lower average, but they are united, full of life, supportive, loving, caring, and most importantly saved.
5. Laughter - Haven experienced emotional and financial discouragement, disappointment and depression at some point in my life, laughter is indeed a pleasure, a luxury to be thankful for.
1. God - My father, my friend. There are times I feel so loved by him, and other times when I feel abandoned by him. But I have come to realize that he always comes through for me and I’m really grateful that I have my prayer book to remind me of his mercies over the years and to power up my faith.
2. Life – Headcount, everyone complete. 7 months of 2011 is behind us, and I have not lost any family member or anyone I love. I can’t take this for granted
3. Love – My fiancé: my lover, my friend. Every day I thank God for taking my all heart desires including the ones I couldn’t dare to hope for and breathing life into it. Now I can read God’s definition of love (as found in 1st Corinthians 13) with a smile. I have indeed found “the one”.
4. Family – I was listening to Chaz B’s sharing life issues sometime last week and the conclusion was that most families are dysfunctional. My family are not rich, just lower average, but they are united, full of life, supportive, loving, caring, and most importantly saved.
5. Laughter - Haven experienced emotional and financial discouragement, disappointment and depression at some point in my life, laughter is indeed a pleasure, a luxury to be thankful for.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Count down - 6 months!
If it pleases the Lord, six months down the line today, I shall be getting married traditionally. I am excited and scared at the same time.
Before i got engaged, all I saw was wedding pictures, happy couples, etc but since I copped the ring, friends and peeps generally have been coming clean and open; hammering how marriage is not a bed of roses, how it is hard work, how 80% of expectations would not be met, how it is stifling, how it is choking, etc. It is so scary I just want to run away. The fiancé and I have been talking about it a lot these days, the poor guy probably think I’m getting cold feet from the way I’v been bringing all these up, he even asked if I wanted to move the dates up, LOL. No cold feet here honestly, I guess one is always apprehensive about the unknown but truth is there is no one I’d rather be embarking on this journey with, because he is truly amazing and I know he’ll make a good husband and a good father and most importantly we have God as our foundation.
So six months to go, I’m really reluctant to delve fully into planning, because I need to get another job ASAP, we both work together and even though my MD has told me three times, that he wouldn’t want to lose any of us and he’ll find a way to work around it, I really don’t want to get married here. It is too much of a risk financially for both husband and wife to earn a living from the same place. I attended a couple of interviews in July, had the final stage of one last week, so your prayers are solicited o! this is topmost in my request sheet to God.
Anyways, my dress has been sorted out, I’ll get it in November or early December, then I’ll worry about accessories and the like then. I shall register us for counseling this month and we can start in September. Wedding venue has been picked but not paid for yet. I’ll try the caterer for the introduction first, if we are impressed then she’ll do the wedding, the fiance doesn’t want the regular jollof rice, moin-moin and chicken, he wants a really rich menu with different kind of sauces and the like. I’m open to recommendations for vendors especially for everything from MC, band, decorator, drinks, food, everything.
On the weight loss bit, the instructor at the gym asked that i reduce my activity from 5 times a week to 4 times, i agreed (after this month hehehe)
The colors for the white wedding! Peaches and ivory (cream) (was chosen by the fiance o) how does that sound???
For the traditional i want yellow, what does yellow go with apart from brown????
Happy new month! May our dreams come true in August.
Before i got engaged, all I saw was wedding pictures, happy couples, etc but since I copped the ring, friends and peeps generally have been coming clean and open; hammering how marriage is not a bed of roses, how it is hard work, how 80% of expectations would not be met, how it is stifling, how it is choking, etc. It is so scary I just want to run away. The fiancé and I have been talking about it a lot these days, the poor guy probably think I’m getting cold feet from the way I’v been bringing all these up, he even asked if I wanted to move the dates up, LOL. No cold feet here honestly, I guess one is always apprehensive about the unknown but truth is there is no one I’d rather be embarking on this journey with, because he is truly amazing and I know he’ll make a good husband and a good father and most importantly we have God as our foundation.
So six months to go, I’m really reluctant to delve fully into planning, because I need to get another job ASAP, we both work together and even though my MD has told me three times, that he wouldn’t want to lose any of us and he’ll find a way to work around it, I really don’t want to get married here. It is too much of a risk financially for both husband and wife to earn a living from the same place. I attended a couple of interviews in July, had the final stage of one last week, so your prayers are solicited o! this is topmost in my request sheet to God.
Anyways, my dress has been sorted out, I’ll get it in November or early December, then I’ll worry about accessories and the like then. I shall register us for counseling this month and we can start in September. Wedding venue has been picked but not paid for yet. I’ll try the caterer for the introduction first, if we are impressed then she’ll do the wedding, the fiance doesn’t want the regular jollof rice, moin-moin and chicken, he wants a really rich menu with different kind of sauces and the like. I’m open to recommendations for vendors especially for everything from MC, band, decorator, drinks, food, everything.
On the weight loss bit, the instructor at the gym asked that i reduce my activity from 5 times a week to 4 times, i agreed (after this month hehehe)
The colors for the white wedding! Peaches and ivory (cream) (was chosen by the fiance o) how does that sound???
For the traditional i want yellow, what does yellow go with apart from brown????
Happy new month! May our dreams come true in August.
Friday, July 29, 2011
4kG lighter + randoms
Goal achieved for week two as well. So between last Monday when this weight loss journey started and today, I have averaged 15 hours of work out. Nothing like the white ivory dress to keep a girl motivated!
On Wednesday 5 people at work asked if I was losing weight YAY!!!!!!. Weighed myself this morning and I am down to 69KG double YAY!!!!!!!!!! 4KG gone, isn’t God amazing????Now I have just 6KG to lose, then I’ll slow down to maintenance mode!
Thanks for all your comments on my last posts, for people that urged me to eat right! I always try to o! but between my desk job and my car, it is really easy to pile on weight.
SO we’v finally narrowed down to 2 weekends in Feb for the wedding! Triple Yay!!! LOL. So basically I have 6 months to plan which is good news. Next item on my workplan Wedding colors and wedding counseling and introduction in that order.
Happy weekend and happy August!
On Wednesday 5 people at work asked if I was losing weight YAY!!!!!!. Weighed myself this morning and I am down to 69KG double YAY!!!!!!!!!! 4KG gone, isn’t God amazing????Now I have just 6KG to lose, then I’ll slow down to maintenance mode!
Thanks for all your comments on my last posts, for people that urged me to eat right! I always try to o! but between my desk job and my car, it is really easy to pile on weight.
SO we’v finally narrowed down to 2 weekends in Feb for the wedding! Triple Yay!!! LOL. So basically I have 6 months to plan which is good news. Next item on my workplan Wedding colors and wedding counseling and introduction in that order.
Happy weekend and happy August!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Goal achieved for week one
SO I registered and resumed at the gym on Monday.
Was able to meet my goal of 90 mins mon - fri (5 times a week)
Goal met for week one
I really hope I can sustain the momentum
Need to lose 10kg
I ordered my dress in size 12 and that sucked big time
Hopefully when it comes, it comes it would need pleeeeeeeeeeeeeenty alterations cuz I would be a size 8
Thank God it’s Friday.
Was able to meet my goal of 90 mins mon - fri (5 times a week)
Goal met for week one
I really hope I can sustain the momentum
Need to lose 10kg
I ordered my dress in size 12 and that sucked big time
Hopefully when it comes, it comes it would need pleeeeeeeeeeeeeenty alterations cuz I would be a size 8
Thank God it’s Friday.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
wedding dress - update
So I went to consult Nigerian designer I mentioned in my earlier and guess how much my bill was N350,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. (not that the style was anything complicated o! apparently anything that has lace starts from 300k) That was way above my budget and my budget is pretty healthy. I guess that’s typical of us Nigerians, to carve a niche for yourself, you have to be expensive, plus business is good, she had many brides-to-be waiting for consultation as well.
Anyways, I checked some stores and some naija bridal store here and concluded that most of the dresses here are china (inferior made). I am still cringing from some of the “lace” in some of the dresses I saw.
After endless souring online I finally found the dress, It is a Maggie Sottero dress. It is simple, elegant, mermaid style, with lace and Swarovski crystals, it has a long train and comes with inner corset. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though it was a teeny weeny bit over my budget plus the fact that I changed dollars for N165 did not help. Bottomline, I have ordered the dress in Ivory and I’ll get it early November. I know someone is thinking to herself all wedding dresses are made in China, yes I know!!! Afterall even Vera Wang does not stay up stitching dresses herself, but I guess Quality Control and Assurance goes a long way.
With my dress sorted, I can face my bridesmaid dresses in August. I have decided not to be involved in tailor matter, or style matter, for obvious reasons, I have been bridesmaid thrice and I hated the style the bride chose for us, I hated the tailor’s handiwork too (terrible finishing). Therefore, we’ll collectively buy the fabric for all bridesmaid so that the fabric would be uniform, then each individual can pick out a style (show me first of course just for my information!) and a tailor and make her dress. Only the Chief Bridesmaid wears a long dress though.
I have also started making a list of vendors, though I have contacted no one yet.
I went to a wedding recently, the couple (bride and groom) were Delta igbo, but the band kept playing Yoruba songs!!!!! I guess these are the softer stuff I should be taking note of.
Anyways, I checked some stores and some naija bridal store here and concluded that most of the dresses here are china (inferior made). I am still cringing from some of the “lace” in some of the dresses I saw.
After endless souring online I finally found the dress, It is a Maggie Sottero dress. It is simple, elegant, mermaid style, with lace and Swarovski crystals, it has a long train and comes with inner corset. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though it was a teeny weeny bit over my budget plus the fact that I changed dollars for N165 did not help. Bottomline, I have ordered the dress in Ivory and I’ll get it early November. I know someone is thinking to herself all wedding dresses are made in China, yes I know!!! Afterall even Vera Wang does not stay up stitching dresses herself, but I guess Quality Control and Assurance goes a long way.
With my dress sorted, I can face my bridesmaid dresses in August. I have decided not to be involved in tailor matter, or style matter, for obvious reasons, I have been bridesmaid thrice and I hated the style the bride chose for us, I hated the tailor’s handiwork too (terrible finishing). Therefore, we’ll collectively buy the fabric for all bridesmaid so that the fabric would be uniform, then each individual can pick out a style (show me first of course just for my information!) and a tailor and make her dress. Only the Chief Bridesmaid wears a long dress though.
I have also started making a list of vendors, though I have contacted no one yet.
I went to a wedding recently, the couple (bride and groom) were Delta igbo, but the band kept playing Yoruba songs!!!!! I guess these are the softer stuff I should be taking note of.
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