Does Family Background matter?

People say if you want to see what a girl will look like after child bearing, go look at her mother. If people want to get married, they usually go to investigate the family, if the person is from a divorced family likelihood that the marriage wont last is there. If the father beats the mother, it is more likely than not that the guy is gonna beat you when he gets married to you.

I used to think all these were just shitload of crap. Afterall you are marrying a person and not his family but mehn I’ve changed my mind. To a certain degree family background does matter, upbringing does distill some values in you that school, church, and mosque, whatever cannot.

Down to the issue of culture/ tribe / religion. I always knew I’ll never compromise religion cuz when the chips are down, we may as well be calling on the same God.

I am not tribalistic, my Boo is Yoruba while am not but this different tribe thingy does have its effect, diverse cultural expectations, kneel down, stand up, whatever! and I imagine it will be hard especially if one does not understand the language.

I guess everything can be managed sha but it is always good to think about them so that one knows what he/she is getting into.

Violent men

1. Have you ever been hit by your boyfriend / Husband? If yes were you able to work away or did you forgive him?

2. Would your answer be different if you felt he were genuinely sorry?


3. If you forgave the first time can you forgive a second time (say an interval of 1.5 years)?

First Rule of Break up

I did say I have never done this before…nobody warned me the first rule of break up which is don’t see him…

Well he came to my office last week fri after 2 hours of pulling the right strings (he sure knows the right strings to pull after all its been five years) my heart had to melt…

I feel weak like I cant take a decision and stand by it…

I however take solace in the fact that he was really shaken and believed I was really and truly ready to move on

But between me and you, he is on probation…..any hint of insecurity I would just start dating somebody else..maybe that’s the only way I will be able to move on.

Well so far he has been on his best behavior…I haven’t driven this week…he gets to my house 5.30am to pick me up…drops me at work and takes me back home (he says he will do this for this whole week)…he has really been amazing…but am skeptical as to how long “ this amazing behavior will last” will last

Anyways I will keep u guys posted

Am about to break up with my boyfriend….

I still love him and I know for sure he still loves me

I have never had to do this before cuz he is/was my first boyfriend

We have been together for 5 yrs

Thing is I earn significantly more than him…(It doesn’t matter to me tho) but to the male ego Its crazy…I have tried to manage the situation…really really tried but there are complex and insecurity issues I feel I cant deal with this new year…

Its beginning to feel like he doesn’t wish me well cuz of his state

I am worried….and sad……..but it feels like its time to move on…before luv turns to hate

Its been an amazing 2008.

Wonderful unexpected things happened to me this year

Completion of NYSC, job promotion, numerous job offers, ICAN prize, my brother got admission, traveled up and down and came back safely, the whole world got married, and many many more…….

My RESOLUTIONS are

1. No biting of nails anymore
2. No encouragement of toasters anymore
3. Total independence from my parents
4. Change my church
5. No storing of undies anymore (LOL)
6. Pay my tithe regularly
7. Change jobs before the end of the year
8. Join a gym in January
9. Go on a vacation
   

In 2009 I hope to be a better person to myself, to God, to my employers, to my boyfriend, parents, friends and family.

I pray for more outstanding success in my exams, job, everything (to never blend in with the crowd)

I pray for a miracle for my Boo

I pray I can still buy my new car in January

I pray danfo drivers, okadas and crazy drivers stay the hell away from me

I pray we move into our new home latest to June

I pray I get the relationship with God I crave

I pray for even bigger and more amazing testimonies next year

As regards my last post…for those that wanted my answers here you go…

1. NO WAY
2. Was in that situation....
3. Am in that situation right now
4. No

Here is wishing all bloggers merry xmas and happy new year. My all expectations for the remaining days of 2008 not be cut shot andmay the new year bring forth much better days IJN

See y’all in 2009.

Much Luv

Doll

Have you or can you?....

....

1. Date a student?
2. As a worker (female) date a student (male)? Would your answer be different if you were in school together and you graduated 3 yrs before him due to some factors beyond anyone's control
3. Date a broke guy? (as in a guy that 70% of the time you have to pick the tabs when you guys go out)?
4. Can you give you give your boyfriend money? (regularly?)

....

She got pregnant

There is this Hausa/ Arab family that used to live about 2 doors away from mine in an uncompleted building. Their dad was the gate man of the building. The woman had about 8 daughters, 3 were married. Being in interested in women issues as I am I took interest in the remaining 4. The oldest Fatima was 13 and her parents were trying to force her to marry a man who had 2 wives (a guard also leaving in one room not too far from my house as well.

Anyways Mumc and I started talking to her mum and prevailed on her to let her daughters go to school, how it was too early for them to marry and etc.

To cut the long story short Fatima felt she was too old to go to school that she would rather learn a trade so voila she started learning how to sew at my Mumc’s school.

The other 4 girls Memunat 10, Miriam 9. Hauwa and her twin (Aisha) both 7 were quite enthusiastic about school. Unfortunately Aisha is crippled polio from birth so that was out of it). Their mum said she needed someone to help her with the household chores Memunat was elected for that so only Hauwa and Miriam could go to school.

Hauwa bless her soul has never disappointed me for one day. She comes to the house over the weekend shows me her school books, reads to me from the reader, brings her result home. She is a real sharp girl

The disappointment was Fatima. She would tell her mum that she is going to my mumc’s shop then go to man’s house. She would leave shop and say she is going home and go to man’s house. We never knew on and on like that until she got pregnant.

We got blamed. There is nothing her mum did not say. We should have let her marry her daughter off then…see now who is going to marry her.. she is now a laughing stock…the woman wept and wept. She took the girl for abortion sha. Now the others may have to stop school and get married. Its so sad and dissapointing

But I guess you can’t win them all

Back

Hey peeps, am back…in full swing…. Exams went well. Praise God!!!!
Am sure a lot happened in my absence. So let me get right to my blog rounds

5Is then am MIA

I keep only neat naira notes in my wallet; for the scruffy ones I keep them in a brown envelope which I carry in my handbag

I am a perpetual hoarder of change. For some strange reasons I find it very hard to spend change (the neat ones by the way) except if am boxed to the corner. At the end of last year I had about ten thousand naira in 20s, 10s and 50s

I luv reading – preferably fiction. I can read for 12 hours without moving from the spot

I hate all forms of swallow foods – pounded yam, amala, cereals of all kind

I am addicted to series – my best remains one tree hill followed closely by prison break

I wash underwear once in a month on environmental Saturdays precisely to the exasperation of my mother (she claims no man will tolerate that) I have a laundry basket which underwear goes to. I like to blame my busy schedule for it but I know it’s a dirty habit and I’l put it on my list of New Year resolution next year

The offer for the bank job I mentioned earlier lapses today. So I guess I won’t be changing jobs.

I will be MIA for about 4 weeks. My exams are in 3 weeks. I am on study leave so no blogging for me in the interim….

P.S I wonder what happened to risquediva, Naija chickito, the way they stopped blogging did not seem right. I just hope they are still breathing cuz if something happens to any anonymous blogger like death how would blogville know (just a thought); even Afro has been MIA for a while now

What if?

When you luv someone so much that your definition of luv becomes the person and you know the person luvs you even more and has shown it a million and one times by words and actions?

Is it wrong to be tired not of the person or the luv but of the issues that trail the person?

Is it wrong to feel bugged down by the issues that are yours by virtue of being in luv with someone?

What if the memories of the time were there were no issues kept teasing you?

What if you can’t stop wondering why the issues with the one you luv seems to be endless?

What if you felt like walking away from it all?

What if the world is beckoning?

What if there were numerous toasters out there that seem to be offering you an issueless life?

But you know if you walk away you will never get to the point that you will stop worrying about his welfare, if he coping with the issues well, If he is eating, if he is breathing?

What if you will miss him so much and you are not sure that you will luv another much or another will luv you that much?

Is this fear of the unknown or a prisoner of Luv?

Jesus help with the issues Please!!!!!!!