Totally Random

I’l be a year...23 to be precise this weekend...where are the May babies in the house???

Anyways was just reflecting on my life...i was promoted at work last week, the pay is gets better by the second, i bought a brand new car this year, am months away (by God’s grace) from being professionally chartered.

I seem to have achieved a lot for a girl my age but there is this nagging restlessness i cant shake off...this dissatisfaction, anxiousness ...am sorta on edge or is it bored... like waiting for what next..

Its just annoying cuz i cant place my hand on the cause..if its my job, my parents, my boyfriend, my car, my house ....LOL

Maybe its the numerous aso-ebi i keep buying, maybe its cuz my closest girlfriend just put to bed at 4am this morning...

Do i want to get married...NO..Not yet...i don’t want kids now...so what is my problem....why do i spend a lot of time these days thinking about marriage and kids and scaring the living shit out of myself...

My life is lacking excitement...

I need a new job so that i can get a life...

I guess am having quarter life crisis

Anyways make una join me thank papa God for an extra year and his never ending mercies...

If nothing else am sure he truly luvs me...

14th April 2004

It was a wednessday. We just returned to school from the Easter break. I had made up my mind during the holidays that I was ready to be yours…

We had dinner and I said yes…that we could be together…

Its hard to believe its 5 years…

Sometimes it seems like yesterday…

Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago…

Sometimes am not sure anymore, sometimes the road seems too rough, sometimes love seems too hard, sometimes the issues seem endless, and sometimes the pain seems unbearable…

But…

I still Luv you

I still want you

I still see a future with you

Remembering today and always that my definition of luv is YOU

Happy anniversary baby

We are officially a break now

I asked for a break…. Our anniversary is in 2 weeks….14^th of April to be precise…

I need to sort my head out….do I still want this…..can I spend the rest of my life with him….

I need to pray…..maybe should fast….

I cant get over the heart-wrenching way he sounded on the phone…he seemed so broken…so….he just couldn’t understand what I need a break for…maybe cuz I couldn’t explain it as well….in his opinion things couldn’t be better….

But then a man that cannot give a girl a 2 week break from a straight non stop 5 year relationship…is he in luv with her or obsessed with her???

I hate being the cause of someone’s pain

I cant concentrate at work…

Its beginning to feel like cheating

There is this guy “E” – used to be my friend…well still is my friend..but we’v taken it a notch higher…we talk on phone like 4 times daily and the night conversations are quite long…

We see every weekend (not my fault tho..we take weekend classes at the same place..that is how we met)

I find myself looking forward to these chats

He is single

He is intelligent

He is matured

He is a good xtian

He is nice and caring

He doesn’t know I have a boyfriend

He is not asking me out

But he fancies me (I think)

I feel like am cheating but am not am I?

The four Meme

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Unfortunately or should I say fortunately (am not sure which) am still at my first job - consultant


FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. President of Nigeria.
2.Editor, Mills and Boons
3. Beyonce’s wardrope designer
4. MD Hilton worldwide



FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Lagos
2. Kaduna
3.Osun
4. London

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. One tree Hill
2. Prison Break
3. 24
4. Lost

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO (I WISH)
1. London
2. Dubai
3. South Africa
4. America(I WISH)

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. Bloggs Ville
2.Google
3. Facebook
4. Yahoo

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Chicken
2. Pepper Soup
3.Rice
4. Chips

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Cereals of any kind
2. Swallow food of any kind
3. Un-cooked onions
4. Water melon

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Chicken
2. Rice and dodo
3. Nkwobi
4. Diet coke

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. Bed
2. Novels
3. Clothes
4. Shoes

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. A carton of novels I haven’t read
2. A pile of series I haven’t washed
3. Book Shelves
4. More space.

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. A black (very sexy) bra
2. Matching thongs
3. Brown pants
4. Pink shirt

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Dubai (shopping)
2. Paris (on vacation)
3. At home watching a series
4. In bed reading a novel


FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. In Wonderland with Alice.
2.In prison with Scofield
3. Lost on the magical island with Jack
4.White house with Obama


FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. Its Thursday almost a weekend
2. If only I dint have to go to classes this weekend I’d have gone clubbing tomorrrow
3. Am I making the most of my youth?
4. Damn! Haven’t read bible today

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. Novels
2. Clothes
3. Cars
4. Shoes

FOUR THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I cry when reading novel or watching films
2. I react to nickel in jewellery (hence I wear only Gold)
3. I am greatly discomforted when flying
4. I am afraid to sleep alone in a big house

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG
1. You
2. You
3.You
4. And You

Help

They say an elder does not learn to use left hand in his old age…yea whateva that means. I need help trying to stop some bad habits such as

Being scattered (My mum says no man would put up with this) – am not dirty (cant stand dirt) but am scattered. My wardrobe is upside down, even when I fold them stuff..i always upturn everything when am looking for what to wear

My room is disorganized, I have books, shoes, stuff generally…everywhere

Even my car booth is disorganized

Also I need help with nail biting – cant seem to beat this

Impatience – this is not even a habit….its a terrible vice

Being undecided – or should I say finding it hard to make decisions and sticking by them. Especially when it has to do with change

Does Family Background matter?

People say if you want to see what a girl will look like after child bearing, go look at her mother. If people want to get married, they usually go to investigate the family, if the person is from a divorced family likelihood that the marriage wont last is there. If the father beats the mother, it is more likely than not that the guy is gonna beat you when he gets married to you.

I used to think all these were just shitload of crap. Afterall you are marrying a person and not his family but mehn I’ve changed my mind. To a certain degree family background does matter, upbringing does distill some values in you that school, church, and mosque, whatever cannot.

Down to the issue of culture/ tribe / religion. I always knew I’ll never compromise religion cuz when the chips are down, we may as well be calling on the same God.

I am not tribalistic, my Boo is Yoruba while am not but this different tribe thingy does have its effect, diverse cultural expectations, kneel down, stand up, whatever! and I imagine it will be hard especially if one does not understand the language.

I guess everything can be managed sha but it is always good to think about them so that one knows what he/she is getting into.

Violent men

1. Have you ever been hit by your boyfriend / Husband? If yes were you able to work away or did you forgive him?

2. Would your answer be different if you felt he were genuinely sorry?


3. If you forgave the first time can you forgive a second time (say an interval of 1.5 years)?

First Rule of Break up

I did say I have never done this before…nobody warned me the first rule of break up which is don’t see him…

Well he came to my office last week fri after 2 hours of pulling the right strings (he sure knows the right strings to pull after all its been five years) my heart had to melt…

I feel weak like I cant take a decision and stand by it…

I however take solace in the fact that he was really shaken and believed I was really and truly ready to move on

But between me and you, he is on probation…..any hint of insecurity I would just start dating somebody else..maybe that’s the only way I will be able to move on.

Well so far he has been on his best behavior…I haven’t driven this week…he gets to my house 5.30am to pick me up…drops me at work and takes me back home (he says he will do this for this whole week)…he has really been amazing…but am skeptical as to how long “ this amazing behavior will last” will last

Anyways I will keep u guys posted

Am about to break up with my boyfriend….

I still love him and I know for sure he still loves me

I have never had to do this before cuz he is/was my first boyfriend

We have been together for 5 yrs

Thing is I earn significantly more than him…(It doesn’t matter to me tho) but to the male ego Its crazy…I have tried to manage the situation…really really tried but there are complex and insecurity issues I feel I cant deal with this new year…

Its beginning to feel like he doesn’t wish me well cuz of his state

I am worried….and sad……..but it feels like its time to move on…before luv turns to hate